I wake up in the middle of the night
With the sound of your laugh
so loud and contagious
And I can’t help but grin
Still with my eyes closed
And I press them tight
As to hug it to myself
As to keep it inside of me
Looping in my mind
Like the sweetest melody
I fight so hard
To stay where I am
To stay asleep
Just a little bit longer

i feel your words pressing
into me

they're softer
than i ever thought

"i want to melt into you"

why are they only in my head

when you breathed
i breathed
because the most intimate
i could be with you
was when our breaths caressed
each other.

I could lie and say I like it rough
Then you would never know how much you hurt me
You wouldn’t know the words that have escaped my body
Or the skin that has broken
Or the life that has slipped through
Or the bad *** I’ve had because of you
You don’t know the restless nights I’ve tossed and turned like a fish out of ******* water
The things I’ve done to my body because of the things you did to my body
The things I’ve said to that shiny thing in the bathroom
I’m not angry
I’m not ashamed, either
It’s just that I’m going to be loud forever, now, okay?