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you shed memories
like a snake
out of instinct

you pack and go
without much thought
without a care in the world

you throw away all that we were
all that we dreamed
all that we lived

yet here I am
picking up
all that you shed
all that you packed
all that you threw away

and I hug it hard
and I hug it close
while I fight not to
lose my mind
as I see you go
I can’t tell if I was day dreaming
Or if my judgement was just clouded
You looked as good as ever
As fierce as always

I don’t know if I was out of my nightmare
Or if you became my night savior
You were as gentle as always
But you brought more trouble than ever

What I do know
Is that I had never felt so alive
Like I did yesterday
Baby you are my fire and chaos
They were there all along
Warning you
To run as fast
And hide as best
As you possibly could

But you ignored them
You turned you face away
They didn’t exist
And denied
That side of the picture

Next time
Look closer
Listen more carefully
The signs are always there
You just have to stash
The stubborn blindfold away
Anakaren Davila Nov 2018
Some nights I still cry about you
I let the tears fall down my cheeks
Like a creek they travel to my heart
And flood it with thoughts of you

Some nights I still talk about you
In silence I whisper to the moon
Who patiently waits for me
to fall asleep after a bottle or two
  Nov 2018 Anakaren Davila
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
Anakaren Davila Oct 2018
Mediocrity is
Unhappiness’ best friend
Anakaren Davila Oct 2018
I have found infinite ways
To hug you close
Even though you’re far away
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