my vocabulary
is infinite
until im forced to put emotions
to words

then, i run dry

a head
of boyish amusement
and a heart
full of apathy
disguised as something akin to love

my love
does not materialize
out of thin air
it is a product
of your words
your smiles
your laugh
so don't tell me
its not your fault im hurting

you flutter your eyelashes
as innocently as a butterfly flutters its wings
and yet you spit your poison
as viciously as a scorpion strikes its tail

love is described as:
flowers blooming
sunlight shining
red lips perking
broken hearts mending

and maybe love is all that
but it can also be:

flowers sagging
rain clouds swarming
grey lips drooping
and the newly mended hearts
slowly
unstitching
themselves

my photos
capture a moment in time
my drawings
capture a moment
i hope to occur
in this life
or the next

you laugh
at my attempts
to be better

maybe its not me
that needs to change