There is comfort
That sits at the end of the sunlit hallway
A familiar soul resting
Against the trademark white and blue

I find warmth in your jacket-clad grasp
And in your groggy, yet reassuring smile
Our voices contain remnants of 2 in the morning
But your eyes still twinkle beneath your heavy eyelids

There is sweetness
In the words that roll off your tongue
And in your unexpected embraces
That melt my heart into honey

I find shelter in the familiar roars of laughter
That ricochet and bounce against the walls
The same ones that have held me
Since my younger and simpler days

There is light
That radiates from your face
A brilliance impossible to ignore, a candle igniting another
And I long to bathe in that heat day after day

I find sorrow in knowing
That it won’t be yours that greets me
In that sunlit hallway anymore
Not for a while, not for a long time

There is hurt
In the way you say “see you soon”
But there is also love in your goodbyes
For I know a warm “hello” is sure to follow

I find peace because I am sure
That there will always be
Other sunlit hallways for us to walk into
But this time I will be holding your hand

Multitude of moth
drawn to light
black of night outside window
Wings of white, a hundred score
maybe more
all wish to pour in
absorb

What are these desires?
exertion bouncing upon windowpane
some beetles eating other bugs
Easy to know their intentions

But about the bouncing spotted ones
What of this light that pulls them in?
electric fervor
Are they pulled, by some force of fascination?

No worry to the bat
being drug and tipsy winged
millions a fluttering feasts

Wish I were that bat
Wish I were just one of those moths
Wish I could fly
Into the light

Lumps appear under my skin
wishing them away doesn’t work
some look like mulberries
There are ones with greenish hues
others blue-black, juicy and ripe
these are the ones I want to bite into

I remember that great mulberry tree of our youth
down by the creek
We climbed that tree and sat for hours
on hot July and August afternoons
devouring juicy dark purple fruit

Our mother’s called as the ballgame dispersed
and we pretended to be nowhere in sight
or within ear shot
We knew the way home

And as we stared at each other’s stained
magenta toothy snickers
faces, hands, tee shirts
even ears and grimy hair
We made a pact
to eat our way to the tippy-top
of that delicious, decadent arbor

I’m home, again
noticing that mulberry tree no longer exists
but I see you at times
and you kindly wave to me
upon passing
I know there’s no need to wait around
till July or August
as I don’t expect our summer dares
mulberry gushing ecstasy
will ever be again

O to be the fertile compost
down by that creek
where a mulberry tree might grow
Again

like smoke but no cigarette
only the buzz of the radiator fills my mind
a fever dream the color of raw flesh
under parts peeled from cuticles

a haze of memories
soaked in sludgy glue and paper machéd together, a new skull cap

I don't know you -- or I do?
many days I've spent with you but
your eyes are now parts of the ocean
I have not seen

the voice rattles in my chest but
it is not mine -- or is it?
I never know these days

messages I don't remember sending
nothing is real
smiles I don't remember receiving
nothing is real
everything is fine
I'm not going crazy but if I was


I wouldn't remember.

So many thoughts feelings expressions emotions
locked behind deadpan eyes and a voice that's toneless.
A mountain of a person consolidated to this form.
A body unimpressive.
A face unexpressive.
The chaos upstairs requires all of my attention.

Conversing takes a back-seat which is why I seem distant.
Too many things to say only leaves me in silence.
I don't know how or where to begin.
If only I could let you inside to weather the storm
maybe you could make sense of this nonsense and bring me to port.