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Lana D 1d
All I've ever known is how to hold my own
When your born into a heart that cares less for itslef
when your born into a soul that only thinks of those around it
All I've ever known is to hold my own
to keep on striving
keep on surviving
even when the sky makes it feel like i'm drowning
But now with you
I want to stop trying
I just want to be
fall into your arms and have you take care of me
you call me an angel
and all I want to do is make your life as heavenly as you make mine
I love you
But, I'm sorry if I need you too much
its just
all I've ever known is how to hold my own
Lana D Feb 19
I chose a path
did i choose wrong?
I thought the answer was no
I chose not to go
and now i'm stuck
feeling guilty for wanting more
Watching all the molecules linking up with one another
new elements
different versions of the same substance called love forming across an ecosystem
and then there''s me
I know I'm not alone
I know there are others
ones that have waited longer than I and still wait
Waiting for that one person to come and tell them 3 words to fill a void
But, still I want that, and I want it now
in this moment
in this instant to be called girlfriend
in this instant to have someone my heart belongs to
in this instant to have someone I can lean on, to hold
someone that will never let me go
But, I'm waiting
a young flower amongst old trees wondering if there will ever be that bee to pollinate with me
Or must I wait to be as old as those who went to serve and then returned
wait to fit in, before having someone to fit with
This I do not know
but in this instant
I wish I knew about you
Not serving a mission and being the only 19 yr old left among single 21 year olds and being the only single one among a million couples
Lana D Nov 2019
tell me how can I fall for a screen
how can I feel your warmth without a touch
what satillite will we bounce from
what network will we embrace on
how can I fall for someone so temporary
So easy to delete , to block, to drop
i disconnect and you wonder where I went
what was going on and what this represents
you disconnect and I worry where we're going
if we'll last even with the past
can we exist in the same cast
Can we make something wrong
fit into our live feeds and become our own song

I'm falling for a screen and wondering
are you falling for me?
Lana D Nov 2019
I am an enigma
a common enigma
for I feel as if I am alone
even though there are hundreds such as I
I feel alone
cause all I see are pairs combining and becoming one
all their single strands into a double helix
and I still float on my own
I'm an O negative in a stream of A positive
just wishing for that one cell to have the same RNA
so I won't be an enigma,
I'll be of a thousand and one
  Feb 2019 Lana D
I am spring
In love with winter
  Dec 2018 Lana D
envisioning blind
with a tongue twisted mind
my dress keeps on twirling
amidst a world that stopped turning
Lana D Dec 2018
I looked for love
but could not find it
before I met you
your grin spread wide
my small smile could not compare
you talked of poetry and philosophy
laughing when I corrected your words
you sang of music from your heart
no darkness could shroud your strings
I didn't let myself feel
for the feeling hurt too much
to look on you and know
that you were not feeling what my lungs clutched
That if I let out a exhale
it might blow you away
far from me, across the sea
never to speak again
so we sit, sing, and lean against each other
and all the while I hold my breathe
waiting for you to exhale
Total crush on best friend
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