i.
every night
before i sleep
i pray that tomorrow’s forecast
will be cloudy.
you know,
when the sky is a clear blue
it’s most painful for me
because it reminds me
too much of your eyes

ii.
our love was not illicit
but you sure as hell made it feel that way
when you touched me like i was paraphernalia
and not person

iii.
i’m beginning to think
that i was some sort of mental illness
in your mind
because you never mentioned me
to other people

iv.
you know that feeling
when you can't remember
if something actually happened
or you just dreamed it?
that's what it felt like
the first time you said you loved me

v.
when you promised me the world
i shouldn’t have expected anything more
than a miniature globe

vi.
math always told me
that two negatives
make a positive
but i think
the two of us
may have proved
that theory wrong

vii.
i hope the sky
is not as clearly blue
as i am tomorrow

I’ve got cracks on the inside
From heartbreak
That shook me like an earthquake.
Every freckle you’ve kissed
Burns in the sunlight.
Sometimes storm clouds
Roll into the horizons of my eyes
And pour.
You planted flowers in my skull
And they used to bloom
When I thought of you,
But they must have been annuals
Because they died this fall.
And despite my best efforts,
They won’t come back.

you were always so inconsistent:
one moment, a rock to cling to -
the next, a crumbling cliff.
I sought a sturdy grip
but my fingers slipped all over you.
you never did have a stable foundation,
perhaps that is why you fell apart on me.

It's been months
since you've last stepped foot
in my home,
but if you were to see it now,
it'd be unrecognizable.

The walls are now painted
a lively white that compliments
the floorboards underneath
the carpet that's been torn up,
and there is a new sofa
that I'll one day spend my time on
with someone (who isn't you).

This house is lively. This house is new.

And it's been months
since you last saw me,
but if you were to look at me now,
I'd be unrecognizable.

I, myself, am more lively,
and the darkest parts of me
have been torn from the pit of my stomach
where they have lived for so long,
and my heart has recovered
and is ready to be shared with someone
(once more).

And I am lively. I am new.

-k.w//Lively

I remember you saying
no one would ever love me,
but walking away from you
was the first step to
loving myself.

-k.w//important love

What a terrible feeling it must be
to know that you still could've had me
if only you loved me like
I deserved.

-k.w//December 5th