Here we are again
Nervous energy trembles
Finally alone.

That first day back from kindergarten
The first summer vacation
Soft falling rain on new lovers
Fresh cut sweet smelling grass
Flexing bare toes in the warm sun
Christmas morning with the heart bursting with childish excitement
The delightful taste of mister softee in different flavors
Mama's moist homemade gingerbread filling the kitchen air
Cuddling your favorite love by a crackling fire
Portraits of natural outside beauty designed by GOD
Intense feelings hidden by a false calm waiting
At the altar for the bride to arrive
All of these special moments of life composed  of waiting and watching
Anticipating and enjoying gifts like an impatient
Jack-in- the box

As I try to shield myself from the beast of civilization, the cold hearted bleeding dagger protruding through the back of America, that filthy, filthy, king of darkness swallowing the minds and dissecting the thoughts of the youth, the raging zombie in the form of love. So I tried. Beauty claim the beast as it was written and saw the true face of Frankenstein. What a soft timid thing, similar to me. Dare I try? ***** the breast and taste the flesh of the raw meat. Something new, something sweet, something just like me. Beauty tamed the beast and so the face was revealed.

Still here
Still alive  
still breathing and decaying
and growling and
threatening the sky with words fit for a dog
Still lying to
Still have a reason to
Stay
Still

you told me i had forgotten my own mannerisms
that i didn't tilt my head when
i told you how to make me ***, didn't
interrupt my own thoughts
or roll my eyes when
i said that you weren't even close
(but maybe you just forgot
to notice
the new ones.)

We are the ones,
cast from the warmth and into the cold
where lungs break down
and hearts are left for the wolves.

We bloom in the chill now.
Like a hellebore bursts
from the banks of snow.
We have arrived
where the exiled
were bound to go -
we've packed The Tinguit Inn
and there's no vacancy.

And yes, oh yes,
we remember you,
tugging at our bound wrists.
We can see your eyes- -
your damnable dark eyes,
twist the chains around our necks.

Gendarme, what say you?
Where are your comrades now?
Where are the revolvers
you issued them as you said

"Just in case of an uprising..."

You know, son,
we have a history of
slitting the throats of our cousins
over a handful of stolen grain.

Imagine what we do to a thief
who robbed us from the sails
of our Mediterranean Sea.

Look at the sky!
The plateau and,
beyond,
our land that stretches to
the shorelines!

We are the exiled
from the Tinguit Hotel,
and yes - you will pay.

*Tu paieras.