She used the fall and winter
To **** off
Any unnecessary leaves
So that when spring came,
She could bloom again.

The best nights of my life
Have been on cold, bleak nights-
My breath a cloud of smoke
And my face numb.
The nights when the stars and moon
Would look down upon me
As I laughed and danced for them.
I could never feel my body,
But my soul was alive.
On those nights,
I never felt alone-
Wrapped around a lover
Or laughing with a friend.
The sounds of silence never unnerving-
Because how could it truly be silent
When the stars wove such beautiful tales?

I broke my own heart
Trying to be enough for you
And always falling short.

I used to believe
A heart broke quickly.
A strayed lover,
A punch to the gut,
A truth revealed-

But it is not like that really.

A heart breaks slowly.
It bruises and strains
With each added hurt
With every small fight.
Little fractures begin to form
With every feeling of being unwanted
And every time he makes you cry.
Pieces begin to fall away
When he stops coming home
And starts sleeping on the couch.
The pieces get larger
When he stops touching you
And his actions no longer match his words.

When he breaks his promise
Of forever with you-
You realize you feel an emptiness inside.
A heart broken gradually
Until nothing is left behind.
Your only hope-
Is that maybe a small piece still remains
That you can rebuild from.

And you vow-
To protect it better next time.

There is a dark shadow
In the corner of my room.
I did not notice it at first,
But I think it has been there for months-
Growing-
And growing-
And snuffing out the light.

I only realize its presence now-
As half of the room
Is shrouded in darkness.

It has become hard to see.

Depression is like
Being on a sinking ship.
You see another boat
Out on the horizon,
But you are not sure
It will make it in time
To save you.

I lose
Bits and pieces
Of myself
Every night.

I only realize
Now-
When so much
Is already gone.