I blame it on the easy things,
my parents,
past relationships,
black holes.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Deciding to stop
when they told me to go.
Screaming out "yes"
as I was choking down "no."
Pressing the pedal
when I should've gone slow.
My actions and my words
never quite match up.
Saying I'm healthy
as smoke fills my lungs.
Calling myself an atheist
but telling it to God.
Sitting here wondering,
When will I stop?
I can blame it on the easy things,
stimulants,
a chemical imbalance,
the doctors white coat.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.

I like girls.
Theyre soft and flush, with eyes bright like diamonds.
Theyre sweet and kind, with lips the color of roses.
I like girls.
but the girls, don't like me.
Because i'm a girl too.

And there you are
I'm sitting next to you
And I can feel you everywhere
I wonder what you smell like
Is that weird
I shouldn't be so nervous
And there you are
Your lips are on mine and I feel infinite
Its as though I can feel for the first time
How did I breathe without you
I can't stop this
Or my feelings for you
How did this happen
God if only I could breath you in
And keep you with me forever
It was only suppose to be a kiss