her mouth was sealed shut
and her eyes were leaking
she didnt let out a single word
from the outside everything seemed serene
tranquil, but sad
wrong.

her mouth was sealed shut
and her mind was on fire
she didnt let out a single word
from the inside the chaos was immeasurable
infinite, still sad
close.

her mouth was sealed shut
but her heart was beating a thousand miles a minute
the voice in her mind was projecting her insecurities back in her face
on the outside everyone knew she was better than this
but on the inside she felt she wasnt

so she let everyone glance at her placid face
and she let her mind battle itself inside of her skull
tranquil face and infinite chaos
correct.

i will sit alone
and i will stare at those stars
the ones that litter the night sky
like little shining blemishes

i will sit alone
and i will stare at the window
the one that separates me from a fatal plummet
like a guardian

i will sit alone
and i will stare at myself
the version of me that is filled with nothing
like a lifeless corpse, floating

i will sit alone
and i will stare at the people
the ones who roam freely, carelessly
like real, living people

i will sit alone

because no matter

how many people

surround me

i am always

i will always be

alone

im not a mess
everyone just happens to be holding a different piece of me

her heart beat at an unfamiliarly fast speed
as she picked the small container
up off of her nightstand

hot tears raced down her face
as if they were racing to reach
the finish line of her shirt collar
as if it were a life or death competition
they poured down in long, hot drops
and she tried to wipe them away
but it was useless

everytime she wiped a bunch
of tears from under her eyes
a new bunch would form
and continue the competition

her soft, sunkissed hands
trembled with the container in them

she lifted it up to eyelevel with her
but even then the thick stream of tears
blocked her vision
and she could only make out
the faint colors of the container

without a second thought
she inhaled one final breath
and shut her eyes

the white bottle cap
twisted open in her hands

and little pale pills
trickled down her throat

her heart beat at an unfamiliarly slow speed
and she went out with a small thud
and a smile gracing her face