They all want to die.
Give it time.
I **** everyone,
Around me.
If I could take back those words.
If I could take back those words.
Sitting on a bench and telling her,
What I thought was best for her.
"Leave him."
I know best for no one.
He shot himself and she,
Hoards the pills,
I gave her for relaese.
Eats them to die in her sleep.
Survives.
Just to,
Slit her wrist come wintertime.
The sun is gone too long,
You see.
The warmth reminds her of Jamie.
And she's not the only one.
My father sits on his queen bed,
Opening that wooden box,
Storing old needles.
Methamphetamine and pain killers.
Hiding in that cabin,
In the woods,
Getting high and dying.
He thinks of the bench we sat on.
When I told him to die.
I told him it didn't matter how,
Or why.
I told him it would happen,
No matter if he did,
Or didn't try.
Prison was the only way,
To save his life.
That old boyfriend,
On the wooden stairs.
Eyes wide,
Bloodshot and high.
He held that gun and cried.
He held it to his head.
I screamed,
Bang.
I screamed.
I screamed.
I screamed.
Seconds were eternity.
If I could take back those words.
I ****, I ****.
I do not save.
I do not ******.
But love me,
And you'll wish for death in other ways.
I wish for change,
It remains the same.
Those who love me,
Absorb the shame.
Dying, dying.
Slowly, everyday.