I’ve got my dad’s heavy silence.

My moms daggered heart.

I’m a bit unattainable, but you

can find me in my art.

Kissing you
Felt like fireworks
Underneath my skin
Wanting you
Felt like waves
Crashing against my chest
Needing you
Felt like salty tears
In dead eyes
Loving you
Felt like a hurricane
In my unfeeling soul

Stop.
He said he's not going to leave.
Which means he's not.
Stop.
Stop, lying to yourself.
He isn't like the other one.
He's not going to hurt you the other one.
He will not treat you bad.
When he says he loves you he means it.
So stop tell yourself different.

We spin through magnetic nights
Falling in love with each others
Laughs and quirks
As we sail down streets
On wheels of joy
And bounce grey pebbles
Off copper train tracks
And feel cold wind play with out hair
As the train shoots past our deeply alive eyes
Spinning through magnetic nights

The line between you and I
Once hard and fast
Steel grey and black
Now fades and simmers away
To silvery white
Cloudy mist
And you are seeping into me
And I am seeping in to you
Our divisions are mumbled
Woven and interconnected
I have lost track
Of where you end and I begin
And I'm dizzy with it all.

I watch the game
With amusement but sadness and pity too
Because they both love each other
But neither can commit
To the potential heartbreak
That could ensue from honesty
So they stay
And poke little references
Or clues or leads
But weak ones
That slip out sideways and seep
Into the floor before
They can be collected
Half hearted efforts
For an achingly full hearted two
Hesitation
Restraint
Fear

His mind was a factory
A bustling grey and charcoal factory
With machines to create thoughts
But all so systematically
All so perfect precise concise
Not a mistake not a slip was made
The sounds of smooth clicks
And echoes under foot vibrations
All was smooth
All was purposeful
Until she asked for a tour
She asked with innocence and naivety
And he let her in tentatively
She marveled at his systemic mind  
And questioned and awed.
But no one had ever
Entered his mind like this before
And she distracted him
They heard a crash
as a machine malfunctioned
And a thought toppled and shattered
The pieces exploding like a firecracker
Against the grey charcoal floor
He panicked and tried to pick up the pieces
But echoes of a breaking mind tore at his ears
As more thoughts shattered.
He was loosing control
And all because of her
This girl was making him lose his mind
He went to a corner and tried to regain himself
Closed eyes and shaking heart
He sat and stayed,
Oblivious
Emerging he stared
Stared at the prices of his shattered mind
That she arranged
Into an intricate mosaic
And somehow in that moment
He saw a beauty in the brokenness
Something he had never seen before