nobody ever filled my missing parts
nobody could get me so high
but you with your questions about
history and politics
while the burning passion within
(which
swept away cold walls of my mind)
grabbed me by the soul and gently kissed...
(slight enough to break wings of butterfly)

...but here and now those parts are missing
yet again
here in my violent stubborn heart
while outside haunting wind
provokes the outrage of the chimes
(never to touch the face so fair
never to hear another subtle breath)

I should go to sleep!
I should go to sleep…

…desolation comes upon the days
painting the time with little pieces
of suffering (how can I close my eyes
hearing it coming with malevolence
in its steps)

Good-bye
Good-bye
and always my love

yours nobody

***

We are of this world
Though our imagination feeds beliefs
That we are of purpose
We have something more
But it's all only words of silken lies
Each day one is born and another dies
We're trapped in circle resembling flies
As world pities our inability
To give each other happiness and smiles
Or even to understand our pains and cries

-'' Master! I've felt it again..
I've skipped the early meditations and met this fellow of yours.''
-''Who did you meet?''
-'' He was your apprentice a years ago, he said that he became wiser by repeating single task every day and I found myself in staggering doubt.''
-'' There is a fine line between regret and doubt, when you let one to take over, usually the other will follow. I was not born wise, even now I'am just a dancing leaf in the wind. But there is a beauty in that gentle breeze.
The tree from which we have fallen, we study and respect - the past.
And the undeniable wind which represents the present moment we perceive every time we listen to him then he reveals  us another secret.''

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

The things that are about to be
and those that never happen...
Nothing vanishes for
nothing appears
Laugh until you can
(because there is no laughter)
In the middle of the lake
there is no lake at all
no world
memory or
thought

(Me is whole in this place
though in this place there is no me
there is no such place in me)

Master meditates at a crack of dawn
while leaves fall from careless trees
Winter is on its way sliding through
images of reflective time

When student comes he knows better
than to wake up his master’s thoughts
He would like to ask:
“Master! What is Zen? What it means to be alive?”

Instead, watching the horizon painting
the blue waves green
He sits next to his master
and starts contemplating with him

Battleground
Of perpetual motion
Reigns upon calm thoughts
Of devastated soul
Called simply me
Though in fact it's
Wasteland from here
Until the rest of nights
Spent without you

But now
Your presence brings
No comfort

It's of no use darling
I turn off the light
And show you my back

Your tears seem scared and empty
Hush please
Don't you weep

Wait out the morning
And the sun trapped
In its journey without end

Then leave my bed
Since you can't leave my mind
Leave and don't look back

Or show me how to love
Give something that's missing
Cleanse me of sorrow in my mind

I know I know I know you can't
Your heart belongs to someone else
And mine is lost spinning

In the darkening night
When dawn is far
Unreachable to my spirit

It seems that it will never come
Stopping this perpetual motion
Of heart until one is none

Until the war is lost (no strength found)
And familiar hands of sorrow touch
My loneliness on mind's battleground

This is the hundredth cigarette disappearing
In the night through autumn leaves choking
Some hungrily looking thousand stars
I think about you
How I lost path for hollow ends
My mind devastated for suffering
Caused by the darkening truth of soul
Ash falls again on the ground
And hides into the nothingness where I
Linger with it blindfolded as universe
With its eternity of lifeless eyes
Only for the tip of the hundred and first
cigarette the light in my heart survives
Endless disputes and arguments of
How to change what once was
Make us forget about the future
In which only we are free
This is the hundred and second cigarette
And it's closing time as it seems to be
You went to bed (the day is lost)
Why is it that every time I open my heart
Something sharp but shapeless comes out
To **** and devour your alleged hopes
To lie or tell the truth (it matters not)
To take something back
And torture that something with silence
For silence remains around
Taking more space still until
Tomorrow the light will return
With future holding the keys to happiness
Then I'll try once again
To burn your fears
To end our pain