I'm trying to be happy in all the ways that I know how
but in this life of uncertainty its all for naught,
and these caverns in my heart just keep getting deeper,
they keep getting colder and darker
and like beautifully crafted blades
the loneliness is killing me in the softest and slowest ways.

I don't know how to stop the bleeding,
it's taking it's toll and freezing my soul away from the life I want to live,
and nothing I try will give
because I don't have the will to be who I want to be.

So it's ever just me,
falling to the depths of my oblivion sea,
watching the light fade as I sink into the dark,
deep stark silence eases me to the bed,
I close my eyes and retreat into my head
to feel one last happy thought before i'm gone,
but it's all been for naught all along,

And the lonely siren song sings me to forsaken sleep,
ending my agony and pain at the bottom of this ocean deep.

Each day I spend my waking moments
wishing my dream was my reality,
And I descend into sadness
knowing that will never be the case.

So I just exist through the day
wondering when I will die,
So that I might be able to return to my dreams forever.

I woke up to my brain having a deathmatch with my skull,
It shouldn't be possible to be this young and feel this old,
I need a cure before I fall over and die,
and all I can do is ask my self why oh why oh why
did I try to drink the whole world away?
**** me, surely I could have made a better decision yesterday.

I don't know where on earth I've ended up,
there are lots of empty bottles and red solo cups,
where are the clothes I was wearing last night?
The clothes I'm wearing are way too tight,
Where are my keys? Where is my wallet? Where is the door?
**** me, I can't do this **** anymore.

My brain is at war and my flesh and bones are dying,
I'm just going to lay in this hot shower and start crying,
trying to remember what I did the night before,
hoping I have no more regrets in store,
why do I always have to give in to my friends?
**** me, I'm probably going to end up right back here again.

The vex of all men has peered into my eyes once again
and glimpsed to me that which I long for most in this life.
Love, in all of it's beautifully destructive splendor,
it beckons me to let go of all rational thought
and surrender to the waves of my heart crashing down upon my soul.
Swallowing me up into this wild ocean of reckless emotion.
I am miserable in all ways imaginable and...

Please take me away from my mind,
Let me leave everything behind
and shut every door to my heart,
freeze my soul like a work of art,
forever frozen and alone through time,
numb and dead but beautiful and sublime.

Lie next to me on the bed
and lets stare at the ceiling like it's the night sky,
Hold my hand so I don't feel alone, but don't let me go,
or I just might fall back into my head
and get lost again in my crazy thoughts

I wanted to look into the mirror and smile,
but all I see is nothing.

I'm staring into my own eyes
and I cant even see who I am.

Who am I?
I guess it doesn't matter.
We're all lost.