This was never meant to hurt you.
It was a simple miscommunication,
a stumble of words.
"Words" can be so easily misspelled to say "swords,"
and swords can impale.
I suppose words can, too.

I love you

As the blood drips from my veins i swear i am nothing

I love you

As the held back tears are finally released i swear i am hopeless

I love you

As one song plays on repeat and sketchy scribbles on used to be crumpled paper forms
I swear to everything innocent
I love you

If my future didn't seem so bleak and your presence so fleeting i probably wouldn't be like this

If my life hadn't  been so violently shoved to the brink of dehydration and starvation in the thought of my own doing
I probably wouldn't be like this

As i type these words i think of the night sky and all of the stars that aren't even there anymore
As i type these words i think of all of the stuttered i love you's
And all of the stern don't do that again's
And all of the 'you're a worthless *****!'s

And I realize
That all of this
Is just the beginning
I'm not sure if i want to see the end
I want to create it

While the words sink in and the fingers couldn't possibly be bitten more and the slashes couldn't be more painless i want to know
Why
Couldn't
You
Be
Here

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SCARED SHE IS. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SHE WATCHES THE WAY SHE WALKS, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME SHE FELL IN LOVE, SHE HIT THE GROUND. AND SHE WOULD OFFER HIM HER HEART BUT IT'S BEEN EATEN AT AND STORED IN A DOGGY BAG AROUND A CORNER WITHIN HER CHEST - AND SHE CANNOT HELP BUT ALWAYS FEEL LEFTOVER. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT SHE'S SCARED OF FEELING.
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FEEL HER BACK.

"The problem with suicide is that when it becomes an option in your mind, it's always an option."