I was counting the stars
When suddenly I realized
That the moon had left me
But the sun awakens me
With a joyful day
To forget the sorrowful night
Even if how many nights had passed
Still I remember each day with you
You left my heart broken
With no one to fix it
Destiny had told me
This time is not for us
But faith whispered on me
That later then i'll find
Someone like you but will never be you

─illustrations on the ceiling

i love the way
the sunlight ripples along his skin
with no complaints

"messiah"* the shadow talks
"of course he is"* i reply
and i resume to orchestrating my love

─little phobias

i wander aimlessly along his windows,
his eyes;
they are gates to afterlives unloved;
they are oceanic shrapnel
sky imprisoned infinities
a lapis point of view-
that i treasure

his heart is drenched
in my soul-
in a sweeter sickness-
in the liquid measure of my steps-
he mentions i'm contagious

i tell him he is my favorite way
to bleed

"september prodigy" the shadow babbles
"why?" i rasp
"sun at long last
kisses away
all the ghosts
harvesting from
the heart of the moon"
and i broke out into stars

─my serendipity

i love the raw
music of our conversations,
and how his voice
undresses me
and my monsters
so delicately
in fabrics of the dark

i love how his laugh
makes all the other planets
look dull;
how his smile
is the first step
to curing the blind

so the blind may know
what i know

"the symphony of seams"

i love how he is the shocking
philosophy
of turning suicide notes
into paper cranes

of picking fights with death
so i may remain

i love the phoenix tucked in his soul
how it defines-
the altitudes-
the limits-
our existence he describes to me

"reincarnation?" the shadow asks
"every morning he wonders" i answer
and the fever invests it's time in me

"what is he to you?" the shadow murmurs

"besides broken flowers,
and ink blots shaped like rain
he is my favorite stairway to heaven."

I've heard a lot about heart break being at 3am, insomniac nights filled with silently sobbing into pillows and when sleep finally comes, it is only greeted with stabs of loneliness when the cold realization floods in that you are waking up alone.

But they forget to mention that it happens walking down the middle of the sidewalk at 2pm when you're supposed to meet a friend for coffee and you see a face that's a distorted version of his because your heart is so desperate for him that it starts to try to find him in strangers.

They don't tell you that it happens six months later when you're starting to feel good again and you accidentally hear that he's dating someone new and it sends you spiraling down into the crushing weight that he doesn't love you anymore and suddenly you're not eating again and the man who works at the liquor store makes a comment about your drinking habits.

No one talks about it happening when you start falling in love with someone else and you're sorting through your computer and stumble across the album of pictures of him that you haven't looked at since the breakup a year ago and you think you're strong enough to see his face and you realize how desperately you loved him but it still wasn't enough for him to stay.

People fail to say that it happens at your best moments when you are so full of life and love and joy that all that can radiate from your smile is the strength that conquered demons and you see all the beauty that is around you and you remember the person that you always wanted to share this moment with has decided he wants nothing to do with you anymore.

The air swirls above me a charcoal black tainted with moonlight:
Why am I awake I whisper aloud...
The pills didn't work again,
Time to take more I guess...

1 Pill
        2 Pills
                 3 Pills
                          4 Pills
                                   5 Pills
I remember you said never take 6,
But black is my favorite color, you would know...
6 Pills
The air swirls black around me one last time as my eyes close forever.

*Goodbye

The lies in my eyes are as bright as day,
Yet you follow.
The heart that's been beaten to much to even bother to beat itself,
Yet you try.
The mind set on believing that he is nothing and will never be anything but nothing,
Yet you don't give up.

This never-ending passage way of corrupt hearts and broken promises,
Yet there you are.

It's funny how life has a way of giving things to one that they do not deserve,
Yet here we lie, together.

Your eyes are my sinkhole in which I get lost, but it isn't a bad lost, no.
It's the kind of lost that makes you feel like you're walking on clouds, the kind of lost that I wish to be.

Your eyes are my sinkhole,
*Yet I have never been so alive...

Why is it the Moon stays with the Earth?
Why is it that gravity, the weakest of all the forces can hold two Giants together?
Yet chemistry, one of the greatest forces of love, fails to hold so many together...*

Thoughts at the cusp of tomorrow.

Two figures dressed in red and black robes  sat on a bed in a room that was illuminated in red light.  The larger figure looked at the smaller figure and said "This is the day we've been waiting on.  It's ok to be nervous but don't be scared.  You are the sacred vessle."
"I'm not afraid.  I'm just ready to get this over with" said the smaller figure.
"That's just what I wanted to hear Levi.  It's time to get started.  Please follow behind me" said the larger figure.  "Yes mother" said Levi.  Levi followed his mother out of his room and down a hall that was illuminated in red light.  
As Levi followed behind his mother he asked the question "Why do we use red lights to light the compound?"  "Because red is the color of blood.  Blood is sacred " said the tall dark skinned woman.
"When Priest summons the spirit Evil remember not to fight it.  Just let it take over" said the tall dark skinned woman.  "Ok" said Levi.
When Levi and his mother entered the worship area she had him stand in front of the altar and the clergy.  "Thank you Harriet for escorting Levi to the altar" said a tall figure wearing a black hooded robe.  "You're welcome Priest" said Harriet.
Priest stepped down from the altar holding a baby creature in his right hand and a knife in his left hand.  Priest stabbed the baby creature in it's stomach and ripped it opened.  He stood in front of Levi and dipped his finger in the baby creature' s blood and anointed Levi' s forehead with it's blood.
"Bring me The Book Of Evil" said Priest.  A short figure wearing a black hooded robe stepped down from the altar and brought Priest The Book Of Evil.  Priest turned to the chapter evil and began reading.
"As the night blinds the sight of the male and female and Death stalks the living and Hate stands on the grave of Love only then will Evil reveal itself.  I offer this vessel to the spirit Evil.  Come forward Evil I summon you."
When Priest finished reading from The Book Of Evil the red lights that illuminated the compound began to flicker off and on.  From out of no where a gust of wind began to circle around Levi.  Slowly the wind transformed into black smoke.  Levi was over taken with fear and unable to move.  The black smoke entered through Levi's gaping mouth and took possession of him.
Levi shook violently and fell to the floor.  "Levi are you all right?" asked Priest.  Levi stood to his feet and looked Priest in his face with eyes as black as death.  "The child is no longer in control" said Evil.  Evil walked up to Priest stool his hand in Priest's stomach and pulled out his intestines.
"LEVI YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!" screamed Harriet as she ran over to the lifeless body of Priest.  "I am Evil.  Like I told the child's father Levi is no longer in control but for amusement everyone may still call me Levi" said Evil as he looked at Harriet.  Evil pointed at the figures on the altar and told them to get rid of Priest's dead body.  "Yes Levi" said the robed figures.
"Harriet go gather the members of Sinister and bring them to the worship area" said Evil.  Harriet walked out of the worship area and to the office of Iniquity.  She turned on the intercom and with a commanding voice Harriet tells the members of Sinister to come to the worship area.  Harriet turned off the intercom and stood in the office for a few seconds.  
What have we done?  I can't believe I let my ten year old son be the vessel to that thing.  I can't believe we were stupid enough to summon that thing thought Harriet.

Written by Keith Edward Baucum