there's this moment after happiness has settled into every crevice of your body where panic sets in because

everything must fall eventually.

somewhat like a condemned house. once, it contained love and family and happiness. there's that word again.

eventually, everything settles.
everything unsettles.
happiness is fleeting -
and so, too, is sadness.

but at least, in despair,
there's is only better to come.
happiness is not so kind.

Remember when we were
but we never happened?
Me neither.

The time I held the sun
and you kissed the moon,
when you named a star by my name
and I cried because we changed.
When you had your feet planted
in the earth,
while my head was high above the clouds.

Remember when I wrote your name
on the margin of my notebook?
the ink has faded from the page,
washed by the tick and tock of rain
by the drip and drop of the clock.

The time we held someone else's hand,
we kissed stranger's lips
to drown the taste of ours,
when your name was at the tip of my tongue
and I spit the words when I brushed my teeth;
down the sink they went.
When you saw and said nothing
while I said and stopped looking.

Remember when we never were
but we happened?
Let's forget.

My echo wont reply for me.
My reflection will not look at me.
My shadow does not walk with me.
My footsteps will not follow me.

I lost myself to someone else.

And they never gave me back.

my second personality,
he loves you
and i hate myself but
he loves you,
he told me the other day
where to find you and
I didn’t want to look
my eyes were burning,
but his throat was too,

I feel bad for him sometimes,
he doesn’t think very clearly
but he knows how to write,
very well actually,
we have similarities,
we’re liars,
our brains are the same,
kind of,
we wear the same clothes
for the most part,
he takes them off
easier though,
he likes to yell
and get angry
at nothing,
he hits things
and i wake up with the scars,
he’s selfish, he doesn’t
believe in karma,
he has no conscience,
he sits outside
and watches his breath solidify
and doesn’t feel the weather,
he likes to bury memories
and then sleeps with shovels,
i shower every day,
he doesn’t,
i can feel him coming,
i have to go,
i’m getting scared.

"Be not wise, but be the fool."
That's the Universal Rule.
Turn deaf ears and turn blind eyes.
Turn fake truths and turn true lies.
See no evil, hear no evil,
All is good and gay.
All is saintly, sound, and sweet,
That we all see and say.
No problems here, no problems there,
All bundled up out of sight.
This world we're in, this blinded world,
Is perfectly alright!

you forget
you are a poet
and accidentally
make sense