I had the overwhelming sensation
That I should've been holding a hand,
Your hand,
As I travelled home on that bus.
Something so mundane as public transport
Still feels igniting when I can run my fingers
Over the knuckles
Of your strumming hand.

**** this.

With all this obsession about
Protecting youths from the world,
We forget that they too can hold
Guns and blades
Up to their own throats.

Breathing feels like breaking.

Follow my chaos down to the stream,
Nothing, but nothing is ever as it may seem.
Cowardice is bravery, the truth is a lie,
Expect the unexpected, walk so you'll fly.

There's a tiredness in my bones that runs deeper than my ability to think. I am tired of this life, of living for the others I am driven to love. They are difficult. I am exhausted.

I am a failed experiment in evolution.

I think
I'm tired
Of people talking
To me when
They don't bring
Anything to say.

Nothing will ever do you justice.

Love as hard as you hate, broken people.
Just because it hurts doesn't mean
It should become bigger, more consuming
Than kissing, laughing, smiling.

You were tapping out my heartbeat
On my knee,
And I was so tired that all I could do was smile,
But that was okay, because the silence
Made you warmer, safer;
The beautiful boy protecting me from the world.

Giving up doesn't sound so bad;

No more nightmares, right?

You are the ink splash that fell from my eye,
As I started to cry,
For all I lost and would never find,
Or all that I simply left behind.
You are the door I slammed shut,
The punch in my gut,
As I realised I'd never
Love you again.

Loving me is inefficient.
Listening to me is inefficient.
Is there anything about me that's worth your time?

I am angry
My lovely one
That you feel like
You've been lost

When all that
Has happened
Is you've been left
Alone in a room

You are not alone
Because my mind
Dwells on every
Freckle on your face.

These are the moments,
Where bleeding
Is easier
Than words.

The travesty is, beautiful boy,
That the silhouette you cast when
You're above me
Shines brighter than the
Stars behind you.

I woke up from a dream
Of being entwined with you
And thought that,
When I opened my eyes,
It was all real.
So I leaned over, to kiss
Your shoulder
And the cold half
Of my bed
Kissed back.

Because nothing hurts a person more
Than smiling at them
after they slap you in the face.

I had a dream once, my darling. About you and I, adrift in the sky.
For hours we'd dance and dance, your eyes glowing and growing, dancing, enhancing,
With each spin, each laugh as the hours turned to days turned to a lifetime.
We would stop our waltz only to kiss; long and lasting and promising.
A kiss that would power our airship, would end all wars, would cease my tears.
A kiss that would cure my fears.

The first boy I thought I loved,
Kissed my unbroken heart
Until I bled my blues
And I slept in a kiss

But he broke up with me
For *minecraft.

Aren't we all so close to the end
And the beginning of things?
I am so close to the end of this day,
The beginning of my coursework,
Which I should've started three weeks ago,
And I  so close
To my next kiss
With you.

of pure insecurity
is feeding itself
the tattered remains of my control.

It was snowing,
And all I wanted
Was to warm my toes
On your tummy.

I feel like there's a coil of wire
Winding around my waist
Clenching, clenching, clawing
At the skin.

I don't know how much longer
I can take of this. I am so
Scared, I don't know
What to do.

This is the end of the world, my good people;
Our sorrows have been for naught!
When your parents died and your babies wept,
Their strife will be laid to rest.
For who in fifty or a hundred years
will remember the old or young
We don't matter, none of us do
So as we end, our world does, too.

When do you believe life begins?

Your body tries so hard to make you function all the time even though you don't feed it enough and you cut it open and hit it and don't let it rest enough. Your body runs on instinct and its just breaking my heart cause your head blames your body and your body blames you head but they're not separate and it just not fair on either part of you.

There is not a person
On this night
Sober or drunk
Coherent or spack
Who didn't tell me
That you are perfect
And that I should hold
Onto you forever.
*It's kinda my plan.

Forgive me my nightmares,
And forgive me my fear.

Late at night, or early morning:
The moon, a hollow reflection of day,
The blissfully ignorant lie alseep
And dream of the life they'd love to live.

The terribly knowledgeable, they lie awake,
Knowing that at night, demons come out
And howl at the souless reflection of the sun;
Knives and guns and hands.

The blissfully knowledgeable sit awake
For a time, looking and knowing the horrors
Which haunt the world but are content,
Because life is about death. And hope.

I am never going to be enough for you, honey.
Your arms are going to scar, and my heart
Is going to break,
Over and over and over again,
Because I can't take away your pain.