I'm scared to go to sleep,

incase tonight my end I meet.

Why is it always just before bed,

that things start happening in my head?

I can feel it coming,

my head starts humming,

but it never gives me time,

to call out or give a sign.

if I'm lucky and someone is there,

I feel happier because I know they care.

you see, I can still hear everything that is said,

even though other things are going on in my head.

I wish they would find a cure,

then I wouldn't have to worry any more.

Then I could go out and play,

knowing I would be seizure free everyday.

1334

How soft this Prison is
How sweet these sullen bars
No Despot but the King of Down
Invented this repose

Of Fate if this is All
Has he no added Realm
A Dungeon but a Kinsman is
Incarceration—Home.

My life is like sand,
kinda nice,
kinda irritating,
and very quickly slipping through my fingers.

I didn't care.
Maybe I did, but not enough to cry.
I heard the words, "he's dead"
But I felt no death.
The day I screamed in pain but with no tears in my eyes, they thought I was joking.
I threw my computer because I couldn't think of anything to write.
I snapped my pencil because I couldn't draw as well as they could.
I screamed out, but with no voice they thought I was yawning.  
I didn't care.
Maybe I did but not enough to scream I love you.
I heard the words "She's gone" and I ran.
They thought I didn't care but truth is I cared so much I didn't know what else to do.
My heart aches because of a disorder I have no control over.
I didn't care.
Maybe I did,
But when I heard the words "I love you" I had no clue what that meant.
I run down the street not only to get exorcise,
But in hopes that if I run far enough I'll run away from myself.
When they spit in my hair, and threw a cheap shot, I went home crying but nothing could be done.
I screamed out in pain but they didn't get it.
I said, I didn't care.
But just maybe, I did.