Roses are red
And so is my blood
You made cuts romantic
But it’s not called love

There are only two reasons for me to stay
To let life slowly **** me
Painfully
Instead of doing it now
All at once

The first,
For the people I love
That I need to hug one more time
Again and again

The second reason,
For the little girl who worked so hard just to survive
She survived for me
I can't ruin her plans
That wouldn't be fair

Oh wait
I think I have one more

Third,
One day, I'll finally get to hug her
One day

I actually have another, somehow
This one must be the last

Fourth,
I've never kissed someone
And no one has ever loved me yet

****, another one too

Fifth,
There might be a stranger
That'll read my poems and feel less alone

Sixth,
I've been banned from it

Seventh,
I would be killing the version of me that is a grandparent with grandchildren on her lap
Before she even breathed

And this list is losing my point
So just one last one this time

Eighth,
Because this list kept going on

your fingers running through my hair
so soft
so delicate
and I swear
chills ran down my spine
as your fingertips brushed my neck
but you were so gentle
I would like to say I barely realized you were there
but I did
I was too conscious of you
and your every movement
and I never want my hair touched again
unless it's by you

Everything
Is
Pain
Yet the only thing that helps
Is more pain

I think I'm done fighting it
I need to bleed

I cut too deep because I couldn't feel
I swallowed my words because I couldn't deal
I listened to the noise that was killing my head
I laid awake for hours in my bed
I felt the tears slide down my face
I wanted nothing more than to leave this place
I will stay
anyway

Went out with friends
It's been a long time
I had so much fun
we laughed until we cried
we talked
and talked
we told secrets
shared big news

After it was over
I should've still been high
but instead I laid in my bed
for hours
not sleeping
I tried to block my thoughts
but I couldn't stop crying

I want my life to be like that forever
riding on a high
being with people I love
and that I know love me
talking about deep things
but also shallow things
like who is dating who
trying on clothes

standing and talking in Wal-Mart aisles
I don't want the highs to end
when I'm walking back to my house
laying in my bed awake until three A.M
wondering why I can't live like that forever
I had so much fun
yet for some reason I'm still broken

Step 1: Smile.
Step 2: Forget why.
Step 3: Keep your voice steady
when your soul is not.
Step 4: Pretend it’s fine.
(Everyone else is.)

Step 5: Fold your feelings
into paper birds.
Set them loose.
Watch them burn mid-air.
Clap softly.
Repeat.

There is no final step.
You just keep going
until you don’t know
what breaking feels like anymore.

when i say that im not pretty
i really mean it
i've never actually look in the mirror
and think i look pretty

my lips look too big
my eyes too small
my jaw too soft
my nose just not right

i don't mean to be that girl
i don't mean to fish for compliments
i just want someone to tell me im pretty
so i know what i think is just me

Who needs Zoloft, Lexapro, or Prozac
When you have dancing in the pouring rain
Being angry
With the sky
Screaming
with the thunder
Crying of the purest joy
Along with the drops of rain
A splashing around
like the child you didn't get to be
Would have wanted to
In puddles