I am a woman standing alone
Against the walls that keep me in
So high that I am unable to climb
Unable to reach the sky
Or feel the sun dust my lips

I am a woman breaking free
From the chains that bind me
The whips that break me
And hold me down until I
Am one with the ***** wet ground

I am a woman running fast
From your lightening strikes
And your throwing knives
I will no longer be your target practice
Your whipping girl
Or your excuse to roll your eyes

I am a woman laughing loudly
At your sick, sad life
At your pathetic existence
Because you must now reap what you sew
You must live with your broken body
And your tired mistakes

I am a woman dancing wildly
With happiness
And power
With purpose
And with strength
That you cannot hold or have
Because it’s all mine baby
And I finally got it back from you

It was a pretty standard bench;
the same one in the catalogs
with golden lillies
engraved right into the plaque
on the back rest

But Oh, how I loved
to sit there for hours
just kicking my feet back
and forth
watching the cars go by

He sat there once too
beneath the moon
and under the oak trees
in all his galant glory
I was ashamed;
but he was beautiful

I love the way you smile
Full and bright with squinty eyes

The way you toss,
your crimson hair girl
Makes me proud to be a woman

You rattle and shake me
We laugh together on your porch
Bright sun and green grass
Like your eyes, but not as bright

Your car goes fast girl
Red, chili pepper red
Hot like your bite
Like your pride
Loud and spicy like your laugh

You're free girl
Big smiles as you spin in fast circles,
in your front yard on this heavy summer's day
Sometimes your eyes are blue,
like big sky flying
But I like them green.

I fell in love with a man,
who had skin,
that was shiny and dark like copper
In one false swoop,
I fell and became his

My copper man has eyes,
that are as black as a moonless night
He smells of sweet musk
and as I breathe in his breath,
I wonder,
how did I survive,
with out this warm earth?
Have I only begun to breathe?

I fell in love with a copper man,
whose black hair dances with mine
Copper man is my morning dove
and my evening crow
He is a wise owl,
hooing me to sleep

I fell in love with a copper man
and he moves through me like rain,
whispers to me like the wind
He makes the sky
and moves the clouds
He keeps the stars shining

But I created the ocean
and I alone,
can keep the waves crashing
and drown the sailors,
who dare,
to get lost in me

I know your smell
Like warm bread,
like sweet, hot breath
It follows as I leave
It clings lazily to my clothing
and it's imbedded in my hair

I let the water fall on me
and so you swim down the drain
I can never get clean from you,
because you can never make me feel *****
Only alive

There's throbbing and aching,
in the place where you've been
I smile and remember,
as I close my eyes
You know all my sweet spots

You have never taken from me
You only give, and give, and give
and you're with me when I go

I breathe in and say,
this is what love is for

Oh, blue sky, blue sky
tell me what it all means
Tell me I have enough good sense,
to leave this crazy scene
That I can stand and walk,
away and never be afraid
I will be strong,
for I alone
and this will be my karma paid

I will sit pretty in the green grass,
that grows all around
I will be Queen Earth
with yellow posies as my,
woven crown

Don't worry mama,
because I'm no fool
I know that I am Eve
and only Adam is allowed to rule
But I can change,
the day to night,
be the watery moon
and the stars so bright

Blue sky, blue sky
carry me away,
to the heavens and into the sun
because I can't see tomorrow,
if I today is just no fun

here is where I wait,
like a snake in the grass
for the wicked *****
to come whirling out of my mouth
and take over

You better run when she comes,
I heard that she doesn't like you
She's the woman in the moon
and the monster in my belly
A warrior of God,
and a friend of the devil

My words will come slithering
from my lips,
like itchy, *****, fingers
escaping and running away on their own

These words will gain momentum
and stab at you like hell fire
so you better watch your tongue, boy
before I cut it off
only to laugh at your pain like a banshee
because now you're the one without a voice
How humbling it will be when you're the one
who cannot speak or fight or choose

You can take me now
but my time will come
and then she'll be there
lay destruction down
and walk through the ashes

Hey, you
don't ignore me when I speak
I have a voice,
and I'd like you to listen
'Cause I listened to you

Don't step on me,
push my face into the dirt
laugh at me,
*** on me,
kick me when I'm down
I'm here, I'm real
you can't take that away from me

I'm not a vessel
I'm no "host"
for a life that isn't my own
I'm not defined
by my ability to create
it's a blessing,
not a guideline

Just because I can,
Doesn't mean I have to
Just because I do
Doesn't mean I will

Your God's no better than mine,
just because he agrees with you
and he favors your life over mine,
excuse me while I get back in place

This body,
my body, wasn't made
to create, to bare, to endure
it was made, I was made
for choice
for power
for purpose
and no man, policy, or "divine" rite
can take that away.

I believe in a world where people understand ****, and not just when it's forceable.

I believe in a world where children can play outside with out their parents watching every move, and not fear being kidnapped.

I believe in a world where women are no longer afraid to walk home alone at night, or to their cars by themselves, simply because they're women.

I believe in a world where young girls aren't taken advantage of at parties just so that it can be blamed on the fact that, "they were drunk"

I believe in a world with out ruffies.

I believe in a world where no one justifies **** as "Well she was asking for it"

I believe in a world where women can wear whatever they want and won't be attacked for it.

I believe in a world where women don't have to sell their bodies for money.

I believe in a world with out forced prostitution or human trafficking.

I believe in a world where women can trust men, and there bodies won't be broken.

I believe in a world where women and children are safe.

I believe in a world where little girls and boys can grow up with out being molested.

I believe in a world with harsher punishment for rapists and child molesters.

I believe in a world where harmful **** kits aren't necessary because a victim's statement is valid evidence.

I believe in a world with out gang rapes.

I believe in a world with out brutal **** videos and child *******.

I believe in a where women are allowed to be powerful and own their birthrights.

I believe in a world where women and homosexuals are no longer held down by ****** violence.

I believe in a world where women in the military aren't *****.

I believe in a world with out South African **** camps for lesbians.

I believe in a world where men and women aren't ***** for being gay.

I believe in a world where women can negotiate ****** use, regardless of the country or situation.

I believe in a world where women can negotiate when and who they have *** with.

I believe in a world where women have choice.

I believe in a world where ****** assault is considered a hate crime.

I believe in a world with safe homes for victims of ****** violence.

I believe in a world where women can establish community and a voice for themselves.

I believe in a world where that voice will be heard.

I believe in a world where women and victims no longer live in shame.

I believe in a world where women are free and accepted as leaders.

I believe in a world with out ****** violence.

I believe that it can happen, and that we together can make a positive change for our community, wherever it may be.

I fell asleep at noon
To that good ole’ familiar tune
To the cicadas
Buzzing and humming
Down by the bayou

I know today is gonna be the day
That the good lord coming to take me away
Jesus, he gonna come down and save me
He gonna come down and set my soul free

To the cicadas
Buzzing and hummning
Down by the bayou

I fell asleep in the hot sun
With the air around me sticky and sweet
I hear those boys comin’ with that gun
But I’m just too tired to get on ma feet

I know today is gonna be the day
That the good lord coming to take me away
Jesus, he gonna come down and save me
He gonna come down and set my soul free

I was lulled to sleep by that seductive song
It was soft and dreamy
And I was humming along
Down by the water moving slow
On the banks of the bayou
Don’t no one gotta know

That today’s the day when good God
Coming to take me away
Yeah today’s the day Jesus coming to save my soul
Praise the heavens he’s gonna turn it from black
To shiny gold.

He never calls me baby,
but that's alright, I always leave his cradle
before darkness becomes daylight.

Did I turn it ugly my dear
I felt the storm coming
I heard the thunder over our heads
The crashing torrents
So loud and angry
The sound piercing

I should’ve known I’d end it
I’ve never been much for sweet and simple
I can’t say goodbye without revenge
Hate is the only barrier
The only thing strong enough
The only wall tall enough
To keep my heart from yours

Is it all, my fault my dear?
Am I the mad-hatter?
In this twisted fairy tale?
Are there any truths to my tongue?
To my intricate web of lies
Woven from our love
And my from our damaging passion

I’m sorry I called for the clouds
Let you drown in the downpour
Gave you no shelter from my rain
I shot you with my lightening
I hope it set your soul ablaze
And woke up that soft spot
The one deep in your heart
Where I used to make my humble home.

Sometimes I drink,
to numb the pain
Or to feel something outside
of the murky, grayish
lonely ticking
That replaced my heart’s beating

But the funny thing is,
and always seems to be
When I drink to make you foggy
you just become more in focus
While your sorry, belligerent
excuses replay in my head

Over and over
until I’m forced to forget
my reasons for hating you
and join you in bed.

Blue-grey smoke
swirl around your hand
and float towards the ceiling
as your voice fills the room

Head back, all the way
and laughing deeply
We feel good
and we'll never let it stop
No, these good times,
will never ever end

We spray
We walk
We smoke
and we talk
to each other
to strangers
about all of the things
that make us feel good

I lay and you lay
on the green, green grass
cool to touch,
because it's midnight
or sometime like that,
we don't know really,
because watches are outdated
and our phones are dead to the world

We make fire
inhaling and exhaling
as we laugh
and cry
We get serious
and then we play pretend,
passing the bottle
stained with four shades of lip stick

We dance
to music we know
and music we don't
On tables or just about anything,
that won't move under our feet
Arms flailing and legs shaking and kicking
We're all crazy and we don't care
because it's a beautiful time to be insane

We dig deep
into our purses
and into our hearts
for secrets
and cigarettes
for stories that will keep us connected
because when we are united
we cannot be ripped apart

Sometimes I forget to breathe
I forget that I am real
And not just living in make-believe
I’m here and on this earth
Stagnant, lying
In the up and in-between
Away from where you are
I can stay hidden, unseen

Sometimes I forget to open my eyes
I forget that I’m only dreaming
I wish that this life were only lies
And not the constant haunting I’ve been fearing
If I fall I won’t feel it
If I die I’ll be alright
Because I was never really living

I wish that my fantasy lasted forever
Went on and into infinity
But that’s a silly thing to want
For without pain we never feel
And with out boredom we never feel excitement
I grow impatient with wondering
If I’m really here at all
If I speak will any one even hear?

Sometimes I forget to breathe
If I do please shake me
I’d hate to die in your arms
Such a predictable way to go
Sometimes I forget to scream
When the pressure builds
When I feel sick and frightened
No, I’ll never forget what he did
But I’ll always forget to speak.

They say this place isn't colorful,
that this part of town doesn't shine
No inspiration, no life
When I open my eyes to it,
I see something a little more beautiful

I feel it too,
in every sunny day
I hear it
when the wind rustles
carelessly through the trees,
shaking their leaves
and making music
for my soul

They see an alley,
dark and dusty
A place that doesn't exist
Someone's slept there,
stepped through it,
even gazed at it
Oh the untold human condition

I love this place
this town with all of its flaws
and normalities
every park, every street
I know them by heart,
I know the people who have stepped foot there
and all of the memories that have been made

But I'm bigger than this place,
I've out grown it
I'm just a sun flower surrounded by daisies

Mama said be careful
Don’t talk to strangers
And don’t walk alone
Mama said to sit up straight
Keep your elbows off the table
And lock the doors when you get home

Mama said be patient
Be polite
Be a lady
Mama said not to sit on the grass
Not to stay in the sun
And go out only if it’s shady

Mama said be a good girl
But this good girl’s got to roam
This girl’s gotta spread her wings
And fly away from her home

Mama said a lot of things
Of this I know is true
But mama never said nothin’
‘Bout stayin away from you

Mama never said you’d hurt me
Or do me so wrong
She never told of your sweet kisses
Or the sadness you’d put in my song

Mama said that boys lie
But you were different; you were a man
Mama should have told me
“Girl, run as fast as you can!”

Mama didn’t tell me
But Ima tell mine
That men like you are icky, yucky things
And ain’t no better than swine

I stood,
with my feet in the sand
and my toes barely touching
the cool water that rushed in below

I felt,
cold because I knew you were close
could feel your sharp touch
at my back, on my pelvis
and I froze

You were a ghost,
a salty tongued devil,
and I
foolishly tried to make you live
gave you warmth
layed you on my *****
and tried to breathe life into your lungs

But my love,
we were doomed for failure
because pray as I did,
and try as I might,
once something dies
you can't make it live.

It was the weight of it
Which made me wander
Into the shadowy
Starry
Menacing unknown

The depth of it
Flowed on
And on
And I followed it
In stride

It was wide
So immense
That I could not cross it
Not alone
Not with my small body

But it was
And it is
Coming
Pouring
Protruding from me
And my tiny
Womanly
Little frame

You drive me crazy boy
You make me want to be bad
You turn me into something
That’s dark and *****

Bite my lip and flip my hair
Slinking and slithering
Towards you like a snake
In the grass
Aching and yearning
For your touch
For a little taste

You make me scream inside
Start the rainstorm
And make me sweat and spin
I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your greatest Goddess

I’m Venus rising
Wanting you in me
On me
All over me
I’ll be nasty
Turn your nice into naughty

Own me
Make me yours
I’ll lose control and get lost in it
Come around and instead of ****
I become ***

I stood there frozen,
unable to move
breathe,
or blink

For a moment,
everything was gone
It was all lost
fallen and forgotten
in the in between
out in the great unknown

But air filled my lungs again
and with all my strength
I beared the wait of breathing
of life and death
and all that comes with it

I moved my feet, first
wiggled my toes around
just to make sure I still could

My feet danced in my shoes,
kept warm by my stockings
and I knew,
that your goodbye didn't **** me

*But it didn't make me stronger

I said "**** me"
but what I really meant was
"love me"
"hold me"
"don't ever leave me"

I let you inside my body
but really you were moving
through my heart
and into my soul

I grabbed you tightly
because I didn't have the words
couldn't say, couldn't do
what I longed to

Now you're gone
and I feel as empty
as an old
tin cup

Remeber,
it was a year ago today
that I let you go.

Are you still around?
Still there to hear my call?
Maddening and still
I wait.

Incase you're somewhere out there
listening to my voice
I just wanted to say,
thank you little one
for giving me strength and allowing me to love

Your lack of existence
was something bigger
than imaginery
more real than reality
it moved mountains inside me
created oceans
caused thunder

You taught me
to love me
because I was worth it
and deserved it
when I asked "why"
You said "why not"

The rain pours and pops ,
outside my window pane
and I can hear thunder rolling in,
behind the hills

The white of my comforter
is stained wet from sweat,
and feet
and summer skin

I try to keep your smell,
pressed into my sheets
and the pillow case,
that once held your head

Bronzed and beautiful,
a body built for two
and to always be
touched,
kissed,
and forgotten

But I won't forget you, love
and for every drop of rain
for every splash and ping
I will fall ever the more in denial
that our love was not,
meant to last.

As I wake
I find that he is the taste in my mouth
His smell lingers on my sheets
It hangs heavy in the air
He’s on my skin
And he’s in my hair
I touch myself
He’s there too

As I dress I push him
To the back of my mind
But he slowly slinks back
Into my thoughts

I am overwhelmed
Every part of my being
Is consumed by him
I am weak with out him
I am even weaker
In his cold embrace

Perhaps I was always this weak
And it has nothing to do with him
Maybe he is just a crutch
A ***** little place to point at
Accusingly
A scapegoat for my flaws
This thought calms my nerves
And puts my busy head at bay

I bathe and his smell slides
Off my skin
The essence he had left on me
Is now gone
And is spinning down the drain
He is gone now
And I have full control

I think it really could have gone
somewhere
you know, could've been what
it wasn't
but I lost it.

I always do that,
lose the important things
the things you put it your pocket intentionally
and say, "Okay...STAY."

Like when your mom gave you her necklace
a shiny jeweled fish,
wiggling on its golden line,
and you promised you'd take care of it
but you didn't
and it ended up at the bottom of your toy box

That,
is this.
This same feeling
was here. I had it.
I was going to love it
take care of it
watch it grow
into something beautiful.

But I lost it.
I checked all my pockets
and my toy box twice
but it's gone.

When she smiles, I smile
When she laughs, I laugh
When she cries,
the tears also flow down my face

She sees and I feel
I see and she feels
Together we are yin and yang

Apart we are little
And easily subdued
Together we are strong
We need no one else
Man or friend
Enemies beware

Hair like golden rod
With cloud teeth
She floats around the room
Dancing and sining

With pinewood locks
And deep brownie eyes
I join in

She's my better half
And I hers
I am the calm after her storm
And she is the first ray of light in my morning.

It starts simply
A rush in your chest
A clean clear smile on your face
The beginning of a new day
The first good day
The best day

Sunny and full of life
Take advantage of that big sky
Open your arms to it
Breath it all in
Let it fill your lungs

Endless life is endless
Live like the birds do
Flying and singing,
they dance with the clouds

Feel it and carry it with you
Wherever you go
Wherever the road ends
In the place you go to get lost
Wherever you find yourself
You are not alone

Always and forever
You will have sun, moon, and sky
Pack your bags and they will follow
On two feet, walk or run

All God is, is all God ever was
It is in you,
palpitating in your chest
Putting the blue in the sky
The face in the moon
And the light in the sun

It wasn't easy for me
to be strong,
to fight against fate
to build myself back up from the bottom

Just so you know,
just so we're clear

It wasn't selfish being brave
or killing the innocent
so I could have a chance at life
and being the woman I dreamed of being

Just so you know,
just so we're clear

I wouldn't call myself a sinner
because I thought ahead
and chose to lose
your God is no better than mine
just because he agrees with you

Just so you know,
just so we're clear

It wasn't easy to love you
and it never came naturally
I worked at it
strived for it
made my heart sick over it

So just so you know,
and just so we're clear
you were the one who chose death
when you killed the only woman
who ever really loved you.

I saw him laying there
still, so very still
I thought he was dead
gone
already passed through
to the other side

Then his chest rose
up, aghast
struggling for breath
his eyes winced
legs pulling up into his chest
feet flailing and twitching

I could feel
the pain that ran through
his fragile, still body
cold, small, and grey
and I stood back from his bedside
my eyes still focused
on his shaking frame

Death hung heavy in the air that day
I could smell it on his skin
God was waiting
to take him home
but still he held on,
breathing and stopping
breathing and stopping

Life is strange sometimes
made even stranger by the reality
of death
of opening oneself
to the never ending abyss
to the ever after when the rainbow has passed

Goodbye, love
I'll be seeing you,
on the other side

I’ll just be 10 times stronger
Every time you attack me
Lay the blame on me
Push me around
Throw sharp words at me
The kind that pierce my chest
And burn slowly like poison

For you and your serpent tongue
Your hot sticky breath
And your cold dead eyes
I am a shell
The shed skin of my old self

Lying next to you
I am nothingness
I stare out the window at the sun
I wish she’d burn a little brighter today
Because I know longer can
My shine wore off
My light burned out

As soon as I climb out of
This black hole in which you’ve placed me
I’ll just be 10 times stronger

So what does it really mean to be like everyone else?
Do I get to check the boxes that they do?
I am happy all the time, check!
I can be alone without panicking, check!
I am completely normal; check, check!
Being normal is being in love
Being in love only counts when they love you back
That’s what they say
If it’s not returned then it’s not real
It never happened and what you feel is wrong
It’s pretend
Make believe
Like when you danced around the house in a crown and said you were a princess
But you were never a princess
Your crown was plastic
And when your brother stepped on it
It broke
And you cried
Because what you want can’t ever be real
But still you danced
Didn’t you?
Twirling under the big onward stretched sky
Giggling and knowing
That one-day when you were big enough
Your prince would come
But he never did, did he?
He got his dates confused and didn’t show up to your ball
So you stood there alone on the stairs
Stunned
With your naked foot in the air
Waiting for your glass slipper
**** your glass slipper
And **** prince charming
Hike up your dress and press your lips to the bottle
Turn your head to the sky
The one you used to smile at
And drink
Because this is what you’ve got
Honesty and intoxication
And when you’re honest you become real
You’re worth something again
If it’s not coming then don’t wait for it
Turn your back and run like hell
Leave your broken crown to whither in the dust

Naked,
as the very first ray of light
and a single droplet of water

I am exposed here
laying on hot sand
and sinking further and further
into it's itchy dryness

I am insignificant
for I am alone
in a no man's land,
where there is but light
and no other life

In the womb of creation is where I transform
from evil into good
I shed my filthy skin
to become raw and new

All but a loud ringing is left
to fill the maddening silence
and I bow down
to let it fill my ears
with an insanity that crackles and bursts
only to teeter out into calm

This is the first day,
rebirth into a bright new world
and I will be fresh
and forget who she was
put it down and let go
and become who I am.

The world is alive tonight
Colored signs are illuminated
Streetlights are on fire
The stars are all out to play

Let’s get lost in this blissful world
Where everything is happy
And everything tastes sweet
I want to scream in the backseat
Until my voice gives out
Stick my hand out the window
And wave to the world
Watching it sway in the wind
Before bringing it back

I am in love tonight
Not with a man
Not with a woman
But with life
With laughter
As loud as thunder
With hands up
*** out
Wild dancing
With everything good
And with everything I have

The world is on fire tonight
So let’s live it up
While it’s burning down

I am a dog with her head out the window
Wind in my fur
Tongue flapping
Happy to be alive

My mood keeps changing
rising and falling with the tide
It leaves me cold and wet
lost and cofused
angry

I can't keep my fire controlled
the wind blows and it whips
down the hill
engulfing every tree in flames
It leaves me hot and scared
guilty and alone
empty

I can't keep the sun on my side
I keep losing my way
she shies away from the challenge
and so I live in the darkness
and it leaves me tired and helpless
hopeless and longing
isolated.

The song begins to play
and I give in to its gentle melody,
I sway in time and tune
and become one with the sound,
with every beat,
ping,
tap,
and crash of the percussion

I become alive,
as I slide,
lift,
rise,
and spin through the room
A tiny dancer
and a perfect pirouette

I become one with the sound
and I let it carry,
my soft strong body
across the wooden floor,
that responds to my dance,
with creeks and cracks

The emptiness solidifies,
as I dance through it,
I cut it like a knife
I am the weapon
and music is the crime

We make love,
he holds me and I am his,
only for a moment
until the record skips
and the chorus breaks
I float over the notes,
like a dove
It is the wind that guides me home
and I keep it warm beneath my wings

My body is not broken,
It works just fine,
with me
and with that holy music
Oh, my savior
my grace
and the life that's trapped within me
is that sweet, sweet sound

Oh, what a fool I was,
to believe in fairytales
and happily ever afters

Oh, how terribly naive
to let you back in
through the revolving door,
such an easy way out

I guess I should've known you were lying
when you told me you cared
and looked away,
blinking twice
even your body
refused a lie so bold

I should have been weary
of that glassy stare
knowing all the while
that as you held me
you weren't really there

But oh darling, I was just a girl
in love with a boy
whose heart was cold and broken
and bred to destroy.