Love is a **** show,
a circus without any clowns
and a juggler who can't juggle.

Love is the tightness in my chest
when you call me baby
or say you love me.

Love is you going to bed
without talking to me all day
and I'm sad
but I convince myself you still care.

Love is the way I wake up in the morning
my heart hurts
my body is tired
but I want to talk to you.

Love is not knowing how to be loved
it is re-learning how to open up
how to accept compliments
how to tell him you love him too

Love is a whirlwind of emotions,
a human condition,
how i dream of falling asleep in your arms
your throat after sipping hot tea
the first snow of the season
cold pool water in the summer
the leaves crunching under your feet
the first tulips peeking out of the dirt
your smile when i say hello
my favorite songs

what is love

I would tell him to guess
what movie had I been watching
the soup I had been eating
how I felt inside.

I don't know what to think
he would say
you never tell me
tell me how you feel
about me, about us

I don't know
I leave you guessing
not on purpose
not because I don't feel
my life is a guessing game
and i'm sorry you had to play
but, man, guess my favorite album
my middle name,
my dreams
and i'm yours either way

a guessing game.

do you miss how the sun would kiss you each morning
when you woke up and the birds were singing
and you were not yet afraid
you were not yet you
because I remember how you used to love picking flowers
and activities that resulted in grass stains
we were young but not yet full of sin
not to say that one can not remain pure
just that we were not trying hard enough to
and I hope when the sun rises tomorrow
or the day after that, and kisses your skin again
you will be able to remember why you love living
and all of the sadness
the anger, the pain inside of you
will melt away like the popsicles we used to eat

o.o.

loss of motivation
currently leaving me alone
my grades are about to drop
faster than a rock
thrown by a rebel teen
at a neighbor's window
my mind has some loose parts
for now, and i have
no tools to fix it
i hope my mother isn't mad
when i'm missing all of my assignments
i was too busy
listening to music that makes me feel
and crying alone in my room

o.o.

i want to give you hickies
all over your neck, and stomach, and thighs
i want to kiss you so much
that we forget that we need to breathe
i want to deeply love, write you poems and songs
and cry with you when it is too late to
hold it in any longer
your lips are perfectly shaped,
your eyes hold some type of magic
please let me be the one to love you
endlessly and without limits
we can do things that you
have never experienced before
i want to give you hickies
you can give them to me too,
if you want.

o.o.

4/6/16 11:01 pm

i do not belong here
where i am right now
this is not my place in the world
please help me survive,
help me get through school
until i can figure out where
i am meant to be
and my chest will stop aching
and my eyes will no longer burn

o.o.

i want to hold your hand
and gaze at the stars
listen to our favorite songs
and drink out of twizzler straws.
this isn't quite a fairytale
but it's good enough for me

o.o.