I ask myself why I'm talking like this,
But it's amazing I'm even
Walking like this.
I just feel so hollow.
Slurring when things get blurry;
I took a xan to help me withstand
The task at hand,
And now I can barely stand,
But here I am,
Looking at these old pictures of us
As I reminisce.
I wonder if I'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't have a hand to help me up
And cope with all my sorrow,
So forgive me for the times
When I be slumped
Because of this prescription bottle.
I promise I'll do better tomorrow.
I just long to see your face
Again.
I don't sleep.
I only dream of a time when
This emptiness
Will end.
I miss my friend.
All I got is a few old strings 
On my guitar to try
And mend my heart,
But right now
It's locked up in the dark,
And I'm a ghost so I can't
Feel these strings bend.
Still I try to piece it
Back together again
With these words
I'm trying to send
Out to your golden soul
And anyone else
Who's listening in.
Sometimes I think about
Taking my life
Just to see what it's like
On the other side,
But I know
That ain't right.
I just long to be
By your side,
The place where I called home.
In a crowded room,
I still feel alone,
And I still hope
That it's you
Every time I hear the phone
Ring.
I wonder
Will my carol of groans
Ever reach your resting bones
When I sing?
Well I tell you I believe,
But I don't know how.
Yeah, the caged bird sings,
But he don't make a sound
Because their ain't anybody
Around to hear him now.
All the clouds look down
On me with a frown
Because they hear my voice
Carrying its sorrow abound.
Even the wolf and the hound
Have their heads tucked down
At the sight of these shoulders
Walking with this weight around.
I just wish you were still around.
No, the drugs don't work.
I know... They just make me worse,
But I need a spark for this heart
That left along with you
In your hearse.
No, the drugs don't hurt.
In fact, I'm pretty numb now.
Your memories paint the town
So I won't be coming down soon.
Night sky sanguine,
Ain't no one as faded as me.
I'm the highest in the room.
Roll another blunt
As I hit another bump,
Then I blow a cloud
As the line drains down;
Let the pain escape to the moon.
And I hate it, but I won't cry
Cause if I did,
It would be a monsoon.
Dearly departed friend,
I love you.
Please don't be saddened
By my bluesy tune.
It's just what I had to do,
To take the pain of losing you.
I know you're always with me
In my heart,
So I know we'll never truly part.
That's why I wrote a note
To help me cope
And keep some hope.
I know it's sad, but
It took everything I had
To refrain;
Not to hang or go insane
From all this pain.
I barely have any breath left,
But I don't want to drown.
Even though I know
This soul sits heavy like lead.
That's why my eyes stay red.
Only the memories in my head
Still play their **** instruments on time.
Pictures in my mind of you
Combine until I'm lost
In the last trace
Of the lines on your face,
And I forget that
I'm supposed to rhyme.
It hurt to write this verse
But I prayed for you first,
For whatever it's worth.
Yeah, I hit another line
As I wrote another line,
And I know...
The drugs won't ever work.
But at least when I'm high,
I can still feel your arms around me
Just one more time.

The tears flow and I need hope.
The trees grow and the bees know
There's a buzzing in my head
That just don't leave me alone.
I have Belief; still I feel Grief.
And I just can't seem
To write anything
That isn't about
Me.

Then again,
There is no me;
So, I know
Everything I dream
And create
Speaks of Faith
As I speak to Fate.

And I say,
What is my purpose?
Why do You tell me I'm worth it
When all I can do
Is to feel worthless?

Your Love;
I don't deserve it.
My Love;
I'll choose to serve it
On a plate made of cake,
So that you can eat it too.

All I do
Is pray to the Sky;
I, know there is no me;
Only You-
Together, we
Become

I and I.

I just hope to find
Peace of mind
Within your Ten Thousand Eyes
As I look to the Sky
And I pray that I
Can stop talking about me
And speak of You.

Together, we
Become

I and I.

I found Hope in my devotion
As I go through the motions
Of this constant river
Of emotions.

I don't want to be me;
Together, can we
Become

I and I?

May these words find
Your Ten Thousand Eyes,
All the Stars in the Skies
Oh, Lord Divine.
My Dear Lord Shiva;

There is no me;
Only

I and I.

I had writer's block
Today.
Still, I wrote this anyway
As I heard Adele sing
Rolling in the Deep.
Old as the song may seem,
It spoke to me.
My hopes and dreams,
They become
Meaningless to me,
As I choose to sing
Songs to Shiva-
In which I dearly believe-
Instead of the crowd
Of voices in my head.
Schizophrenic;
I can't tell
If they're my friends
Or my enemies.
I don't really know
What I'm trying to get at.
I just felt something
Telling me to bring
Faith to those
In need.

You're not alone.
You will find Love.
And it will come
To you, oh beautiful one
In your time of grief.
This, I truly do
Believe.

One day,
I earned the courage to pray
Without the urge
To feel ashamed
For the person I became
After my friend,
He chose to hang himself.
God knows I wish
He could have stayed,
But I could never
Judge him.
Lord knows sometime's
I feel the same.
Since then,
Nothing's been the same.
I've learned to love myself.
I can say I changed
For the better.
The road gets cold,
I know.
So, I wove a sweater
With this letter
For anyone just
Tryna get their life
Together.
For better or worse weather,
I'll keep my faith forever;
He showed me that
One day,
It really all does
Get better.
I remember
When I never thought
I would believe that.
And I mean
Never.
Even though I know
I got a lot of sins,
(I still love Xanax
And Klonopins)
I'm still tryna learn
To forgive myself.
I used to have a lot
Of self hatred,
But then I replaced it.
Still, I feel like a
Disgrace sometimes.
Still, I feel inside
That I'm a be fine.
I know God will
Heal me in time.
I just have to want
To try.
I used to get nervous
When I tried to
Share my pain.
I was afraid they'd
All just think
I was insane.
So, I refrained.
Then one day,
I realized
That I'm not the only one
Who feels this way.
I think I found a way
Out of the Darkness.
No, I don't believe in fate.
I think we create
Our own destiny.
Yeah, my empathy,
It gets the best of me.
I can feel her pain
Whenever she's sitting
Next to me.
You ain't gotta speak
A breath to me.
What's understood
Don't have to be
Explained.
Yeah, my empathy,
It gets the best of me.
It's the only thing
That keeps me from
Feeling empty, see.
I love my wife and
My brothers endlessly,
But that's about the
Only thing that's left of me.
And I'm just speaking honestly.
I don't feel no need
For apologies.
Just know that
Y'all give me the strength
I need to see another day.
Because of you,
Yeah, I can say I can
Make it through
Today.
Truly, I could
Never thank you
Enough.

Every time I drink,
I pour a little out for Lil Peep.
I cruise through the streets,
Skateboard underneath my feet
And I wonder what my life
Would be like
If I had never decided to get high.
(It's not the first time this week)
And then I wonder why
Do I even wonder why?
It's not like I could have
Resisted if I tried.
My mind just insists
To get high.
These lines
Look so tempting
In the light of the night,
Fishscales reflecting
Underneath
The pale moonlight.
Every time I drink,
I pour a little more out for Lil Peep.
RIP to a G.
Sometimes I just sit and listen
To his beats.
I guess instrumentals were just
Medical to my mental mind.
I miss the more simple times.
Writing lyrics in triplet rhymes,
Getting high back when
"Getting high" only meant
Lighting up another blunt.
Won't try to front;
Too many bumps,
And now I'm slumped.
Every time I drink,
I pour some more out for Lil Peep.
And sometimes,
I swear I can see
A slight silhouette
Of my dead homies
Still skating with me
As I roll through the streets.
God only knows how much
I wish they were still
Here.
Drifting into bliss
As I can somewhat hear
The passing winds
Whisper into my ears,
That all things
Must someday come to pass.
I guess that's why
I pass the blunt
That I just laced with wax
So I can cherish these times
Filled with laughs,
In hopes they will last
As I try my best not to
Let life pass me by
Too fast.

Too high to sleep
Too throwed to eat
Swisher Sweet rolled up sumo
Who knows if I'll make it
To see past 27
Let alone this week
Couldn't leave that white girl
Alone this week
So I'm too high to sleep
Too throwed to eat
Still bumpin Lil Peep
Like it's the beginning of 2017
And I'm on Troy Ave
Ya boy has too much acid in him
Pass the blunt then pass the poison
Pass the venom
Let me drown out my thoughts
Give me vices over advice, it's
That lilheathen fiend
Cup full of Sprite spiked with codeine
It takes the edge off the trip
Jump off the ledge, then I'll drift
Into an ocean of that purple potion
A notion to kick the habit
Before I kick the bucket
**** it, sip more lean
Pop more beans
Til I"m gone off them jiggas
Go figure
This sinister literature
Dispensed by yours truly
Always came from the truth, see
Doobies rolled up and they're laced
With that wax
Now it's gon' smoke for some hours
That's facts
Load up the dab rig as I
Pop another hit of that cid
Which makes three today
So I couldn't smoke enough **** today
But he's to stay
That lilheathen minion givin Hell
To these so-called prophets
They just want to profit
Off our conscience
And I ain't got one
I been ****** since they been thrown
Fire and brimstone
Coughing off it often
Til' they lay me in that coffin
I've been here for too long
Not long enough
Nirvana isn't too far
It's far enough
I see it coming round the corner
Either that
Or it's just the coroner
I couldn't really tell
Within this distorted corridor

I speak hood art
That street poetry
When you hear that bass
Knocking down your street
You know it’s me
That lilheathen
Creeping straight outta Hell
Just to bask up in the smell
Of the ****
Need that Acapulco Gold
Fruit for the soul
Blue dream got me froze
Stuck in a maze through my mind
Stuck in a place I can’t find
Lighters in the skies
Look like
Fire flies in the night
Higher I climb
To the Light
Smoked a bowl full of Dimitri
Just to enlighten my eye