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  Jan 2016 Left Foot Poet
Nat Lipstadt
~~~
Disappearing Ink Thoughts:

"Nothing that involves the love of an honorable man"

~~~

One checks in
with the periodicity of
semi-regularity,
a
how ya doing?
sent off by mounted Messenger
to:

good friends,
fellow poets,
former lovers

yes,
it can be
either,
both,
and
even
one and the same...

her reply arrives -

"I am fabulous"

you twinge
with curiosity and whimsical,
mortal fantastical,
creaking regret

for it's from the one
you didn't keep closer
but
so easy was it,
it well might have been a

been

disappearing ink thoughts
start to pen themselves,
on both sides now
of your
two-sided containment chambers
of the heart

does it mean
she's found
another lover?

so you
dancingly
not-so-innocently,
add-on a moonshot probe,
a reply comes...

"nothing
that involves the love of
an honorable man"


are you so obvious,
you groan, forehead smack,
is everything that lies
between your simplistic but
not-so-cunning lines
so easy apparent,
in this game of
liar's poker?

disappearing ink thoughts
start to pen themselves
on both sides now of your
two-sided containment chambers
of the heart


a mixed bag evoking,
a whizzing admixture of
guilty and sad,
fond memories,
sutured together
by alternating slews of
"what ifs" and "what is"

maddening, your mad imbalances

the heart is divided-
left and right

what you have
left
behind,
the seen and the unknown

what you have checked off as
rightly acts of both
rare and well done,
simultaneously

and

you separate the darks
from the lights,
as you subdivide
this conflicted
second-place-derived
"honorable mention,'
the complimentary multiplicity,
of a most pleasant
yet withering assassination,
winning by losing,
by being called

an honorable man

something makes one uncomfortable,
as you write/lay this
epistle *** elegy down
when you are up,
beside your truly
"love the one you're with"

leaving one unsure of where to place
this particular, peculiar,
inscription

are you left or right
sided here?

hard pressed
to uncover honor here,
as shameful, don't-go-there's,
reddens the face
in a darkened
bedroom

but
there is some
softener within
all this disappearing ink

recalling that you knew yourself
well enough,
to give up,
when to walk away
so rightly so,
when you heart knew
what wasn't left,
wasn't just quite
meant
to be
ship-righted

meaning
fair superseeded implanted desire,
and you
left-leaving, left-leaning,
on
the right stuff

here you sign off,
almost forgiving certain sins
so flawed for being so
human,
such as contemplating,
the wonder of wonderment,
the fragility of frailty,
the knowing of never
perfectly knowing



~~~

Dec. 31, 2015
7:59 am
Flight  #1011
Seat 16C
Somewhere over the
human landscape
  Jan 2016 Left Foot Poet
Sjr1000
Staring at the ceiling sky
Past lover's faces
Eyes
Dotting
The midnight moonless skies

Stars twinkling
Their light having been cast
Many light years ago

Each one for their time
Had in their eyes - for me -
The golden glow

Meteor showers of montage sequences
faces
scenes
times
fly by
Trailing ribbons in the ceiling skies

The dots when taken together
Tho eons passed and separated
Pieces and bits form constellations

Eros
Aphrodite
The Mother
Sancho Panza in drag disguise
A female Damocles and her sword
The Companion Star, still glowing here in the Western sky

Looking backwards in time
Their presence was once present
Now, all have vanished
Moved on to other places in space and time

Aware of all I have been given
All I've learned

Remembering I loved each one
And when the moon is right
and the ceiling is dark
and there is no sleep
for me tonight
Their light still shines
On my ceiling night sky.
I enjoy, the subtle shades, connotation of each word,
probe, how dexterously they are put together in an order
like jewels in an ornament for generations to wear.
The way the construct speaks to the brooding solitude
that moves in and out of my soul,as the reading proceeds.

I smell a fragrance, like the scent of fresh ripe fruit,
eager to taste it, sink my teeth deep, draw juice,
now find a memory awaiting to resonate with the
cadence of my heart.
                                                 I am such an animal
that can smell poetry's worth from a distance,
a goldsmith who could  predict it's weight in gold
my avarice for a poetic diet, never dies, only swells.

Every poem of my kind, to me does something
my lover does, decidedly every imagery, carry forward
a memory, like wind a cloud, reaches a space beyond
touches eternity with it's magic wand,  a flash results
Even if the poet leaves me mid way, I'd still see the light.

I've an enticing excuse to imagine what I want to see
a poem doesn't produce anything,but what it does to mind,
is pure magic,I am in that flow,far from the illusory reality.
Left Foot Poet Dec 2015
What I Mean When I Say Chinook Salmon

By Geffrey Davis

My father held the unspoken version of this story
along the bridge of his shoulders: This is how
we face and cast to the river — at angles.
This is how we court uncertainty. Here, he taught
patience before violence — to hold, and then
to strike. My fingers carry the stiff

memory of knots we tied to keep a 40-lb. King
from panicking into the deep current
of the stream. Back home, kneeling
at the edge of the tub with our kills, he showed
the way to fillet a King: slice into the soft
alabaster of the pectoral, study the pink-rose notes

from the Pacific, parse waste and bone from flesh. Then,
half asleep, he’d put us to bed, sometimes with kisses.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geffrey_Davis
Left Foot Poet Nov 2015
Thanksgiving Menu Planning for Gaining and Losing

~~~

having shed thirty pounds plus,
another X more yet required,
to be forever properly de-cored,
a happy subtracted scoring

part too,
brought the curtain going down
on a seven year insanity,
paid off the forever divorcing *****,
that weight worth more than a Venetian
pound of flesh

now finding myself
in a re-entry orbit,
though hardly gliding,
encased in a capsule,
friction glowing gold

the now never~ending
calorie counting and exercise rituals,
in every aspect of life,
all friendly devils of relentless,
demanding utter devotions,
all watching, wondering, watering, endlessly,
a new perennial flowering of a leaf,
all watchdogs of the truth serum called

what if?

what if
had I lived my prior
lazy loose life,
with the current rigor
of daily barefaced truth

I would never have made
choices that have redline scarred,
some made back in 1975,
into a forty year losing war,
spiral declination that permitted the
insidious, slo-mo of decay,
that could be, would be,
reversed only
by this recent heart
and soul surgery

nowadays, menu plan my life's
every actionable choice,
limiting the sugared foolishness
from the decay
one can coat themselves in,
survival lies and refrigerator drugs,
until sleep~rest intervenes

what shall I eat,
what shall I choose,
what will be this day's life choices from the menu,
answering daily inquiries from
Oliver and Siri (1),
acknowledging that more-than-occasional slippage will occur,
but taking no true satisfaction
from the periodicself-cheating,
always
daily weigh myself
twice,
first my body,
then, my soul,
upon the rising,
upon the setting


to see quantifiable
what I have,
thankfully 
yet to gain
by losing
**

~~~
Thanksgiving Day
2015
(1)
Oliver Sacks
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/08/the-oliver-sacks-reading-list/401993/

Siri
my watchwoman,
counter of the calories,
chider of the foolishness,
unafraid to question
everything,
reminding me to be
ever thankful
  Nov 2015 Left Foot Poet
Nat Lipstadt
~~~
Testimony & Majesty: Oh God, Why Do You Inflict Me?
~~~


Morning dawning...

Thickened whitened whipped cumulus
come crossing,
no frenzied froth,
moving slow royal, stately,
as if they are the pride of a
celestial navy,
peaceful ships,
crossing from my portal to your port,
traversing from my shade
of the blues,
over to you, poet,
to your personal  screen-adapted
CinemaScope version sights

This wind buffets,
re-directing my
morning~borning hallelujahs
this wind, nameless,
call it chipper, fulsome and volatile,
a proud pusher selling a waking up
near-chill pill,
to accompany the real+imagined
armada of nature
it, near and nearer
to you,
to the sky we inhabit+share,

its *****, stiffening energy,
makes some
hide inside,

not me,
I'm outed by the
harsh welcome~touch of this
realized reminder -

who is the master,
who is but
an obedient servant,
choicelessly writing his
psalmist morning devotions...

another poem of sky, cloud and wind?

Oh God why do you inflict me?
with this time after time obeisance
when I am
metaphor drained and disabled,
abject of adjectives,
simile frowning upside downing,
have we poets not done our dutiful
illuminating your bountiful works?


yet here I am,
a soul surviving,
incapable of resistance,
your frosted creatures persistent,
wrest my visions into prose,
to add to your overly full Facebook page,
with more fawning praise...

Angered have I, you, for now nowhere,
tropical rain squall tells all,
humans are toys,
born to serve,
silence your complaining~explaining,
and from nowhere with
rapido intensity rising,
down pours drops of scornful
water whippings,
demarcating our
incoming existence inequality...


and yet with your
yang and yang,
a reproach for me,
for as it waterspout pours,
it also pours sunshine,
a mystifying warning
to the put-upon poet,
that in the admixture
of nature and life,
all is conflicted,
all is tremulous beautiful,
and now is the
due time...

due, you,
to complete this treatise as
testimony to majesty...

~~~
Miami dawns
Nov. 24 ~ 25, 2015
  Nov 2015 Left Foot Poet
Nat Lipstadt
Nat Lipstadt     3 hours ago

your answer to my caring but simple "checking in with you" inquiry, overwhelmed me and I have required days to fully comprehend the textured life of a man who see everything in color combinations that deserve recording in whatever medium his heart chooses. Time was needed, time to summon up the courage to reply with smithy-crafted, wright-shaped words that honor your honed skill.

my heart is gladdened by your inescapable ability (no, you cannot escape it) to perceive the values of life external and internal, that make your poetry a symbolic representation of all that is fine in the most aweome title that one can award ones self, human.

I am well aware that life has never given you a flush in the cards you were dealt. Nonetheless in e v e r y word you have written you have betrayed yourself as a loving man, appreciative of nature's gifts, and reenforcing them with fresh perspectives.

i make no pretense anymore; all poetry writing is a personal ledger kept, by which we daily, almost constantly, measure ourselves and record the small moments that sum up who we were, are and who we desire yet to be. Thus, indifference by others, no matter why, oft leads to a misleading sense of lesser self worth.

I well recall years ago reading your poetry here and ******* air in gulps as I basked in your lush attentiveness to the world in which we co-exist.
I even praised myself, by keeping your company.

You do not seek praise for self, but our shared gods have made our paths cross, so that like Abraham arguing with God not to destroy the evil cities of ***** and Gemorrah, if he can but find even just ten worthy men, so do I pray to anything, anyone, anywhere, I pray, if almost for selfish reasons, that your urge to write, to share, to see beyond the loveliest surfaces of our world and let others rest upon them, and to gift them to an almost,  undeserving  but needy world, never finds the Isle of Surcease.

If one man presses his claims upon the scales that judge your life, then all the weight of worth I load upon one side, in your favor, to beg you, let this single man's devotion to your cause, living with all the good and the sad that is therein contained, be sufficient to persuade that you must never suffer easily the delusion that your poetry is lacking  in any manner to prevent your sharing.

If not here,
then tell me where we can find each other's "instant messages" of recorded moments, that you uniquely supply.

I cannot ever obtain a good understanding of your perfect storm of the last seven years, but what you shared here and in every word you have ever writ, like my prayer here and the ones I have yet to utter, let them all, letter by letter, rise thru and up like the mists of dawn, travel gently upon the slow currents of our rivers, to reach you well received and by any deity,  willing to let us lend a hand.

Re demons, we defeat them or at least negate them, even temporarily through writing. Another reason to share your work, if even one sole solitary reader, gasps for air when reading you, if but one sheds tears at the human kindness you to continue to disclose in the quilt of quality of your works, to lift one soul's weighted-down heart, you have to, must,
feel obligated to share.

I have no more words to plead, so I will arrogant demand of you to accept this one fan, one devotee, one lover of your skill at capturing and then releasing, your words ever glow in this man's essence, as both necessary and sufficient.

forever yours,

nml
My message to another poet whose work was simply magnificent, but who has ceased to post and woefully, has deleted too many...

October 23, 2015

5:30 am
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