Shame seeps into my being so easily,
it finds a home in my stomach and mind,
it never waits for an invite or a greeting.

My whole life you have been the cause of my shame,
I lay awake thinking of the things I have said,
thinking about my every move and breath around you,
wondering if I have embarrassed myself yet again.

Yesterday I realized you are my loved one, my blood,
but I do not deserve the gut wrenching shame
that you grace upon me with your company.

Today I am shameless,
today you are no longer a threat to my confidence.

In time I will love myself,
in time you will be nowhere in sight.

If,
I had the energy to fight ,to create a war,
had the strength to scream, and spit  venom
I would.
But
my body is to calm to let my fists clench,
and my mind is to settled for revenge, so
I Couldn’t.
Although
When your fingers unlatch their powerful grip  
I will embrace you sweetly,
I have too.

Not one person effects me the way you do,
your words send shivers down my spine,
I have never seen eyes and a soul the perfect hue,
those parts of you I will love with all my time.
sometimes you are on my page
sometimes you are reading a different book
you have my heart in your devious cage
and know I deserve to be the only one
but nobody makes my hands sweat
with one look.

I did not need more reasons to love you
but everyday you give me more
You have a kind heart
and I feel ashamed that
I try to put you down