i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

I can't say I regret it,
can't say I feel bad,
Cause it was long coming.
It was a storm just waiting to happen.
So, I let it.
"Why?", you may ask.
Well, because it was tough,
tough having to fight a battle I knew I was gonna lose.

I let it happen,
and I can't say I regret it.
Cause I also needed to live, just like you.
You made me do this, you know.
Why couldn't you stay quiet?
Why couldn't you stop it?
If it weren't for you,
I would still be here.

The words you said were like scars,
never leaving me.
I know it doesn't make sense,
but I don't really blame you,
I pity you, you know.
The you of then must have been similar to me.
You must have also hid when they came.
Still, I want to know, why,
Why did you do it to me?
Did you get any satisfaction?

You survived it,
you might think of yourself as brave,
but all you are is a coward.
I guess I just wasn't strong enough to face you head on.
I don't regret it because now atleast I know,
I know what it feels like to be left out,
to be looked down on,
to be spat on.

So, I thank you,
I thank you for showing me you who you truly were.
Or else I would have been living in a fool's paradise.
Even though you got through me,
but there lies a whole world beyond which, you cannot get through.
Though I'm leaving,
I'll still be here to see how much you regret it there.

I cry,
I cry for the things I can't have though I shouldn't.
I cry for the dog that lives next door locked on the roof.
I cry for the old man who can't see though it's better if he doesn't or else
he will see the unjust world.
I cry for the girl who isn't here cause she was taken away at a very young age.
I cry for the boy who doesn't have any friends because he isn't normal.
But most of all....
I cry just to let it all out.

She is living a lie,
just doesn't know it yet.
Her story is mine to tell.
She is living a lie.

She believes them when they tell her who she is,
except she isn't.
They want the real her to be hidden.
To never be found, to never be heard.

"Why?", you ask.
Because they are scared.
Scared of the world finding out about the real her.
Scared of the consequences they will have to face.

What they don't know is....
that she will find out.
And when she does,
they will not know what hit them cause she will be heard.

But right now,
she is still hidden.
Under hundreds of different locks.
But she... she will break through.

"Why?", again you ask.
Because she just realized,
that she was living a lie.

L - lingering , lost , luscious ,                        
            liberation , lavish , lasting

O - overt , open , often , official , orifice ,
      outstanding , outlandish

V - very , vertical , voluptuous , venoned      
      vivacious ,

E - every , effort , effervescence , epheral
     epitome , epitimy , everlasting