Love these days
Is when you look
At your partner
With your eyes

Whether they are
Beautiful or ugly
Thin or fat
Black or white

Love these days
Is not love
It is more like lust
Between the two

Love these days
Doesnt understand
The feeling of
A heartbreak

Love these days
Doesnt feel
The way my heart
Shattered

This is why
I dont believe in
Every single word
You're saying

Because you love
Like how the people
These days
In love

I met him at a party
The late night buzz and low lights
The blaring music and loose dancing
All shrouded in a fog of assorted drugs.
I met him at a party,
And he wrote his 10 numbers
On the back of my small hand.
I remember his smirk and
the way he said Call me.
He disappeared into the fog,
and is still awaiting a call
from that girl he met at a party.

It was late when I stumbled home,
Pepermint gum trying to hide
the harsh alcohol in my breath.
I came home and saw his number,
and for some reason,
thought it was yours.
I crawled through the haze of my house,
trying to find my room, my bed.
I snaked under the blankets,
and for some reason,
thought you were laying beside me.
I've never slept so soundly in my life.

By morning, my parents are asking questions,
but all I can see is his number on my hand.
I thought to myself
Now's my chance to start over,
to love someone new,
to forget the past.
I cried --
for joy or sadness, I'll never know.
Those tears fell onto his number,
and with a flick of my thumb,
it was gone.

the problem is I can't.
I can't trust anyone.
I have issues going across railroad tracks without making sure once, twice, three times that a train isn't coming.
when I muster up courage to look in a full body mirror, which isn't often, I check my reflection five times to make sure a scar isn't visible.
when I read ten word poems, I count each and every word seven times.
so why would I trust him when there is no proof to check nine times?