I wish I could write about balance
Yet it seems much is lost with me
Like the philosophy that used to define
Or the friends who used to get high
Yes, it seems I have aged for the worse
Becoming the very thing I fought against
The usual nine to five employee
Whose life revolves around a clock
Desperately waiting for the ringing bell
So that I might go home just to start over

"Can you help me with my homework?"

I'm a father now and having a purpose
Helps to cleanse the monotony
Yet, there is always that lingering thought
Who am I
Is this balance?
Or is balance lost?
The uncertainty is maddening as I return to the present
"Life is the geometric progression of experience"
It slips out and they want and explanation
"Please, Dad!"
I internalize my struggle
As I struggle to reconnect with my former philosopher
So I draw two dots for them
One is me now and one is me then
"Boys, this dot here is who your father was"
"This other dot is who he's become"
"Perhaps the value of the latter is less than its former"
"Maybe mathematics got it wrong and real value doesn't have a power"
"Or ratio to determine greatness"
"What if the father you know now is less than the man he was"
"Like that negative sign I find myself subtracting"
"Removing years and tears and time"
"In an attempt to find that simple balance"
"Possessed by a mind without a factor"

The boys look up to me as I hide my shame
They know men do not cry
"Its okay Dad, we love you for who you are now"
"You've become more than just a simple number"
"To us, you are the worlds greatest father"

There it is
I think to myself
I am found
The reason I continue through the pain
(Balance Regained)

Minds claim to know that which is not.
Foundations... they are broken and they rot.
From the rubble is found a truth stronger than life;
To understand that knowing is nothing but
Standing on our understanding.
Now we 'K'now

The fever subsides
Washed away with a purity of focus
Focusing on the sweet harmonies
That only mother nature can heal
As her tears fall
So to do the responsibilities
Responsible for the sickness
Which so plagues the mortal soul
Bound in chains
Shackled by obligations
Mankind trembles
Afraid to face the truth
That their worldly lifestyle
Conflicts with the natural world
So it rains
To mother nature's horror

Diametrically opposed
We push and pull
Yes
Like a set of magnets
We are drawn and arranged
In such a way
As to offset normally balanced poles
Into an array of dizzying fractals
Playing off one another
In a symphonic harmony
That vibrates
With a disphonic ferrousity
Until we are drawn closer
And dance in the force of our love
Our attraction unlimited

For one known to sojourn
The world becometh but a fraction
With every incremental journey
The puzzle of life clarifies
Like an uncouth window in need of cleaning
Every swipe removing a haze
That had previously clouded your vision
So that absent your cataracts
Each new destination resolved
And the beauty what lay beyond
Beckons
And as you merge into nature
Father asks you:
“Do your legs not tire little one?”
Enthusiastic you mew the contrary
You always were the contrarian
Springing away in leaps and bounds
In search of the next great adventure
Waiting around the next bend
I watch you go feeling proud of my little girl
Yelling after her:
“Daddy loves you my little traveler
Be sure to return with tales of your exploits.”
Like clockwork she returned again and again
As days became months and those to years
I began to fear the day when you no longer came
...
That day is today my baby kitten
…
And my heart aches for just one more story
From the one cat known as Sojourner

Daddy misses you so much

What words left unspoken
Speak callous to the mute
For it is grace to give sound      
Opposition tranquil                        
Like the rushing water              
Heard from a background ravine
Babbling incessant                              
Just out of reach                              

Woe it is that such secrets rest
That truth ranks second      
En lieu of base expression      
Deeming stoic pretense superior
To turbulent interior                          
Similar to the focus of a predator          
Stalking it's prey              
<Silent>
Waiting for the perfect opportunity
AMBUSH!                          
To sate the quiet hunger              
Patiently lying in wait                

Oh, it is a shame that masks be worn
For behind that false visage        
Rests a truth                        
Left unspoken

Deceptive it sleeps
Waiting for the rage
All consuming
A break in the torrent
Pain subsiding
It's replaced
Singular focus pulses
Throbbing incessant
Needing to be released
Craving blood for blood
Seeing red
It's free

And then words
Alone
Are not enough
To sate
The demon patient
Waiting
Hiding behind
My face