I was never meant to hear you say "Nothing lasts forever" It was never for me It was yours all along It was the last bit of bait you were throwing to reel your drifting sanity back into your veins, Wasn't it? **** I don't want to lose you
I could feel you imagining your voice lost in the waves of my raw hysteria; drowned instantly in the rip tide of my shaking wrists and growing headache God ****** I don't want to lose you
I heard we ran out of papers so you ran up around the walls of this house- thoughts scribbling on them like the paint we could not decide upon; like a troubled mentalist looking for solace the sound of your pen against the walls- how they went from flowing to screeching- hands now bleeding blue heart; you reached the porch where you underlined your first steps and her last; the bedroom a serenade between the sheets some- times a lie tucked away underneath; there are fractured stories in the woodwork finally seeping out. You are making the ceiling cry in the eulogic living room; the kitchen is a mess of lonely dinners. You left the library for the last. This was where you began a passion never ending fantasy; open up the curtains. The world will one day listen to the way a little scribble went to a house and came back a masterpiece.
I remember thinking if I could just coordinate my thoughts and my tongue for more than a focused second I could tell you that the lack of permanence in our nature; the same one your lips relentlessly describe is the swamp sitting stagnant at the core of my anxiety You don't ******* get it I don't want to lose you
You sat with your hands wrapped tight around your knees like safety bars & hopelessly whispered "nothing lasts forever" over and over again into the chaotic sea of tears, I was emptying recklessly all over your bedroom floor I don't want to lose you
I have this weird feeling The feeling you have when you miss someone Or when you're homesick But I'm home And my friends are too I still feel nothing is here
Right now life feels like a late night drive into the middle of nowhere, it's 3 am and I can't see. Okay I guess I could use map Yet no one has one. Oh well, I'm not going places Maybe All I need is a hiatus.