One two,
one two,
deep breaths.

Shaking crying,
what am I feeling?

I have so much love to give,
But none to receive.

My beautiful boy I never dated.
Sweetheart that gives me butterflies.
He thinks he is just a boy but he is my
salt in the sea,
warmth that you feel in the summer.
Love that you wish to receive.

I don't want to live anymore,
It hurts so bad I can't take it anymore.
I fight to survive,
for a life I don't want.
And I whelve on memories,
that I never had.
Somewhere in some other timeline,
I can feel happy without snorting a line.

I failed at it several times,
I shall not fail at it again.
The world is so ludic,
I need some quiet space.
Deeply in my soul there is a missing part,
And ill find it once i drift apart.
You won't find me for some time,
I will disappear for a while.
Somewhere far away from this cruel world,
Maybe in heaven where my thoughts lure.

You denied their pain
And could never take the blame
Gaslighted and lied your way out of the truth
Is this really your way of life?
You narcissistic fool