Welcome to the graveyard shift of my brain
Welcome to apocalypse of my veins
They try to break me, try to change me
I don't want to stay the same
I couldn't have it any other way if I tried
These are all my fears, these are all my demons
Tried to run away, but you give me a reason
Even when I'm scared,
you never say your leaving
You make me feel loved,
give me something to believe in
Welcome to the all or nothing
kind of way of loving
If you want to leave me just say
I've learned to watch you walk away
I want to love you, want to touch you
but my mind gets in the way
I hope you'll stay with me anyways
Welcome to the sound of pouring rain
Welcome to the calm of the storm before the pain
Welcome to the roller coaster of my life Welcome to the ocean of feelings in my eyes
I'm trying to trust you, trying to know you
but my mind tells me I'm not worth it
When you smile it gives me a purpose
I love you, your so perfect

Someone smiles as you walk by
You smile back and resist the urge to sigh
You get a text out of the blue
saying “we should catch up, I miss you too”
You trick yourself into thinking you made a friend
But tomorrow you won’t exist to them

You try to wave at someone you recognize
They stare at you with dead, blank eyes
You’re drowning in this pool of lies
No one helps you, no one tries

You isolate and no one cares
You are invisible but yet they stare
You try to blend in but your mind compares
It’s a lonely world out there

I think of you in the silence
I think of you in the dark
I think of you when I’m alone
I think of you when it’s hard
I think of you when I close my eyes
and when I drift to sleep
I think of you in the skies
and when it’s time to grieve
I think of you in every flower
and when I sit outside,
I think of you in every rain shower
and when the clouds have cried
I think of you when I’m wide awake
and when the night won’t come
I think of you with every ache
and when the pain has turned to numb

Do the memories ever really go away?
Do they just go dormant and then replay?
I cut and smoked and drank to numb the pain
only to wake up and feel the same
now I avoid the mirrors and the camera screens
If I don’t look then I won’t be seen
I pretend my life is a movie scene
Can you yell “cut” so I can wipe the slate clean?
I’m ashamed of my body and the hate it’s consumed
But in my mind there’s only room for two
I can take the hurt and everything I’ve been through
But please don’t tell me I’ll lose you too
I’m in love and I’m finally free,
but my mind still plays tricks on me
I can’t be happy if I’m not who I want to be
I think I’m trapped in a world I wasn’t meant to see
One step forward and two steps back
Can I ever be satisfied with what I have?
I want to live in the moment but the moments aren’t enough
to erase the days that came before and get back what I lost