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Oct 2020 · 205
Extaz/agonie
Rostova Oct 2020
"Doream ca tu sa-mi fii alaturi,
Dar ai disparut si m-ai lasat plangand.
Vedeam sute de frumoase meleaguri.
Dar doar tu-mi erai frumoasa in gand."

Am sa te fac sa te ineci in sange
Si o sa iti vezi mama *** te plange.
Asa *** plang si eu de cateva luni incoace
Din cauza ca tie nimic nu-ti mai place.
Orice as face, nu e bine.
Oricat as incerca, tot nu o sa te am langa mine.
Tot ce faci e sa ma ignori
Fara sa stii, sau poate cu buna stiinta, ca asa ma dobori.
in plansete o tot tin
Si doar asa mai *** sa dorm.
Din al tau sange as face vin
Si doar cu el as putea sa te transform.
Dar degeaba, eu nu te *** rani.
Tu poti si o tot faci.
Caci tu pentru mine esti un zeu
Iar eu pentru tine m-as lupta cu mii de draci.
Am ganduri rele,
Incerc sa le alung.
Sentimentele-mi sunt grele
Si de realitate as vrea sa ma disjung.
Tu o sa-mi ramai vesnic in gand
Si eu doar cu gandul am sa raman, vesnic plangand.
written in Romanian, my native language. I truly hate him bruh.
Oct 2020 · 281
Everlasting Repaint
Rostova Oct 2020
Vapour of old ways transformed to serenade
Got me crawling for the faith in which my cloak was made
On a serrated path...there's a restless dance
Where my freedom shines
It re-alings the angry waters my fear hides
And shuns the rivers in which my reflection divides
In forever's eternity...
My meaningless voice transfigured to clarity
The liberating decay of my old molecules
Couldn't led me again desperately astray
Stored into a closet
Where imagery of forgotten forces have been laying
And pieces of glass from the mirror I've been breaking
The gap between sane and desperation
The bitter taste of the void fulfilled with self hatred
Fought with myself through my eternal plea in this
distorted realm, abandoned and sacred...
Soulmate's bliss is the acceptance of a heart
That pumps rusty shame into my heredity, in my static blood
I swore I'll never return to old paintings hung up on my temporal wall
But somehow I can't resist the urge to repaint them all
Mischosen fate of thy heart illuminated and spared from walking
Bring the moment of serenity the prayers are chasing
This black majesty summons the fragile transparent veil
In nocturnal sky with wondrous cleansing wind revealing every detail
A repression did alter my seal with care and force... not to go in
But I shape-shift into a disfigured reflection against my own will.
Rostova Jun 2020
*** simti clar lipsa de tandrete
De aceea nu am pic de politete.
Am ales sa mi gasesc o alinare,
Scriind poezii despre *** doare.
*** doare timpul care nu iarta,
*** doare absenta ta deodata.
Si *** dor toate, pe interior
Nelasand nimic bun la exterior.
Am lasat regrete sa ma macine,
Dar am pastrat iubirea intr-o imagine.
Din tot ce am invatat de la tine,
Am inteles ca timpul vindeca de la sine.
M-ai invatat sa trec peste orice dezastru.
Asa ca, dincolo de nori, cerul e mereu albastru.
written in romanian for someone dear to me

— The End —