Was I wrong to think I meant something to you? Was I that blind? The secret stares. The subtle hand touches. Was it all in my mind? Were we really nothing but friends? Did I mean so little to you? You chose her and not me. Was it because she’s easy? Or was she prettier than me, smarter, funnier? You had nothing to say. No sorry. Nothing. I really did mean nothing to you. And that hurts. It hurts like no pain I have ever felt. Nothing I could have ever imagined. You made me feel small. Insignificant. You made me cry. You made my heart hurt. You made my whole body ache. Thank you for that.

Breakdown after breakdown.
Oh god how I miss you.
How I miss what life use to be.
Back when I had him as my bestfriend.
Back when our family felt whole.
Back when I had love and happiness in my life.
I constantly find myself having random break downs.
Because I miss my friends.
I miss him.
I miss myself.
But he is gone.
I am still here hidden somewhere in here.
Until then I still have my friends.
I may be 1000 miles away.
Yet we are only a phone call apart.
My friends will keep me sane.
Keep me happy and smiling.
Make sure I feel loved until I can do that myself.
Because they're not my friends.
They're my family.
They're my brothers and sisters.
The only people I know I can count on in my lowest points.
In all my breakdowns, I miss them dearly.
Though I know they're still there.
And that's how I get through.
My family may feel broken.
But we will make it.
Because we may have chosen to enter one another's lives...
We now know we will never choose to leave it.

I do not speak in sombre tones
Not for me the gentle echo
Hushing through hallowed halls
I shall growl my way to the grave
Be ****** to the insignificant
And to hell with the indifferent
There are no rules or rulers
There are only fools and foolers

I need no-one else's straight lines
I have imagination enough to swerve
And spite enough to spin
Snapping snarling and seditious
Spitting venomous and vicious
Flamed by the world's injustice
And humanity's indifference
Not until I am dead burned and scattered
Shall I rest assured

                                By Phil Roberts

(for once this cannot be fueled by spasmodic impulse
in the cortex, its context's slightly appalling
every single simile has been used
even stating the futility is
so futile, so starvation
digests them)

hates the obvious
reasons with none
destines tomorrow
steeped in sorrow
in the spiteful pun
the tritest treason
a heyday we'll pay

we adhered to one
fly-papered world
and miscalculated
syllables we've hurled
the lateness unfurled
on this newborn day

this was exactly
what you thought
I would rightly say:

I wake up everyday to do things I don't want to do
and that was fine when I had you to come home to
now when I walk through the door I hear silence
nothingness
and Lonely isn't really meant for anybody
but here I am