avalon

avalon Nov 2017

gives me a stomach ache.
what am i to say? and to whom?
every letter droops with the
dampness of what they call
'love'
but they call it sweetly,
in sultry tones and trembling
caresses, calling it like
a bird, calling it like they know
it does not care
and does not hear them.
their drooping calls and caresses
hang limply in the air
waiting damp and dull
to be found and lulled
back to a sleep
of threadbare dreams
where 'love' is not a bird
or a heartfelt leap
but a sad saggy poem
full of letters
that droop
as you weep.

toying with identities and cynicism

#love

avalon Nov 2017

dizzy; dazed

sitting and wondering and laying flat
on a tile floor so cold
it feels wet
and wondering whether you stare at the ceiling
wondering too, wondering whether
i am staring.
or thinking of you.

avalon Nov 2017

the champagne is free (but you still won't drink it)

after 1 or (two) drinks and one (2) many glances into your eyes
kissing my neck feels less like
a compromise; feels less like an uncorked
bottle of half-priced lies, feels less
grimy, no longer a cheap disguise
for a dolled-up girl with one (2) many drinks
who can't stop looking
in your eyes.

can we talk about the fact that i had 'feisty' spelled wrong in my bio for like 3 months and none y'all told me

avalon Nov 2017

tumbling

conversational   tones too often
tumble into sloppiness, leaving
my words marked with fumble
-d caresses and stuttering half-t
-houghts. i don't leave you with
my leftovers on purpose, they d
-ropped  into my purse when i c
-ame to see you today. a lot of th
-ings drop into  my mind when i
see you. but it's mostly  your wo
-rds. perhaps my only love affair
was with the   letters you placed
under my name. i never wanted
to be beautiful until you wrote o
-f it with a ball point pen;  never
dreamt of living extravagantly u
-ntil you dusted me in spices and
sparks with flecks of ink and the
marks of your fingers. you crafte
-d everything you loved about m
-e. you are the only reason i am e
-xtravagantly in love  with the fle
-cks and sparks under my skin. y
-ou planted whispers beneath my
eyes and called them  dangerous.
but only you      were  dangerous
to                                                me

this is new. this is the breath of winter as it fogs before your eyes, this is disguise, this is the hundred times you laugh before you start to cry.

Nov 2017

alex

of the faces i do and don’t recognize

i’m not sure what it is
about being a stranger
that makes them all seem so beautiful
the faces in the crowd
blend together
but not before i notice
every single one of them.
i’m not sure what it is
about abandoning their identities as strangers
that makes them all seem so beautiful
strangers are strange
and i think we all become strangers
to ourselves at some point
and so
aren’t we all beautiful to ourselves
at some point
too?

the bus is the best place for introspection

#strangers #life #introspection

avalon Nov 2017

skipping tracks

do you ever feel like you're falling out of your frame

#depersonalization

avalon Nov 2017

waterfall

why is she always crying?
eventually
she will run out of tears.
or maybe
the tears will run out of her.
either way
there are much better things
to fall for.

but what is worth my tears?
what tear is not worth crying?