There is solace to be found
In finding someone who understands
At least in some manner who
And why and how you became
What you are and has no
Problem telling you where you
Wrong but also how impossibly
Correct you are and expects something
Of you, yet understands if you fall through
For some reason or another and does not
Hold that against you but encourages you
To try again and knows how capable you
Are and how strong, how beautiful, how
Fragile your heart is, knows that you are
Infinitely more and worth so incredibly
Much more than you would ever accept

When the roof of your heart begins to
Crash down atop you and you feel
Yourself suffocating they let it fall on
Them so that you can breathe enough
To figure out how to prop it up again

Her soul is a tree growing ever strong and true
She digs deeper into life into love into faith into why  
Every day her roots push deeper with her eagerness
To know and to become

Her soul is a bold river birch tree, she is not afraid
To reveal her brokenness to the outside world
With each layer that peels off as she grows
More beautiful

Her soul is a blossoming cherry tree
Her sakura soul colors the surrounding world
With its wisdom and knowledge that it may
Soon be gone

Her soul is a graceful weeping willow
It is weighed down by a certain sadness and pain
Yet easily swayed by the playful breeze to dance again
In the sunlight

Her soul is an unchanging evergreen
Throughout everything she goes through
She stays strong and firm, she does not ever
Back down

Do you ever get the feeling
That you are somewhere else
As you go through your day
You don't remember your name
And someone else must remind you
Who you are?

Do you ever get the feeling
That your skin is two feet thick
You're not experiencing life,
You're just a witness to it
As you pass through the walls
Invisible?

Do you ever get the feeling
Where your insides are jittering
A thousand miles an hour, jarring
Your soul and threatening to
Collapse and become a
black hole?

Do you ever get the feeling
That everything is so fleeting
That life is so short and everything
Has a certain pointlessness to it
And you feel lost and dull and
Want it to end?

Do you ever get the feeling
That although you are surrounded
There is no one who will
Take the time to understand,
Who will have the willingness
To open up and ask in a broken voice,

"Do you ever get the feeling?"

my mind is
a big hunk of irrevocable nothing which touch and
taste and smell and hearing and sight keep hitting and
chipping with sharp fatal tools
in an agony of sensual chisels i perform squirms of
chrome and execute strides of cobalt
nevertheless i
feel that i cleverly am being altered that i slightly am
becoming something a little different, in fact
myself
Hereupon helpless i utter lilac shrieks and scarlet
bellowings.

I fear that I am too much
That no one could ever see it all
That even I could not comprehend me
I have always been too easily
Misinterpreted
I fear that I am too honest
I tell when asked and
I answer all questions fully
When things need not be
Exposed
I fear that I am too tough
I am not feminine enough
Violence is always an option
Words do not hurt me
Anymore
I fear that I am too independent
I cannot help the way I was raised
In the middle of five children
I was surrounded yet
Alone
I fear that I am not capable of love
That all of these might hinder
Any progress before it has begun
That it might be lost, drowned within
Apathy

I fear that I am too much to be loved

The world outside her window is the same
Unbearably tame
Mile after mile
Tree after tree
It blurs with the sound of her heartbeat
It feels fake
Almost, as fake
As the perfect little house
And the perfect little yard
That her imperfect family resides in
That most people call home
She can't bring herself to it as she pulls off
Hurls herself through the woods
Along the thin dirt path
Up the grueling climb
To the top of the mountain
She finally pauses to breathe
As she exhales she grins
Effervescent and sighs
"Home"

Her heart is a black hole
It soaks up the surrounding life
Always curious, ever wanting
More
More adventure, more to love about this
Crazy, vast universe that surrounds
On rare days you can glimpse the
Radiant, blinding star it once was
Yet still overwhelmingly, breathtakingly
Beautiful
As it takes all of these
Immense moments after
Exploding with passion and emotion and thoughts and words to be
Still
Be still and merely be
Before absorbing, compacting those memories
Into that deepest of meanings that she craves
Hoarding it within her heart
To begin with again someday