Staring back
from the apothic abyss,

faced with
a fiery
femme fatale

With a face
like ******
in the
moonlight

Mesmerized
by them
Lake Michigan eyes

With such fear
with such desire

You came and went
like
little deaths
of inspiration

Like the Earth was
a little more gracious
To perpetuate
your presence
beyond my ****** up
perfectionist
thinking

Paralysis by analysis
while I sleep
a demon stands on
my chest

Whispering sweet
cynical
"you're nothings"

It's always
Me vs. Mara,
In a manifestation
Of obstacles

The triangle
pointing down
inverting
the sunlight

Back to
black holes
In the mind

Just like the song
that makes you
think about the
end sometimes

‘cause nothing lasts

Baby
believe me
you’ll leave me

They’re always
******* leaving
like the Sun's
kiss of death
to the horizon
before the darkness
kicks in

When we’re stuck
suffering a solo
tango
under the Moon's
spotlight

Staring into
the same
apothic
abyss

i've seen your face, recently,
popped up like that nightmare i keep having where my body is left in
lukewarm sweat. your eyes are still as green as stems, and i want to
upchuck upchuck upchuckupchuckupchuck

it's funny how when i was 15 you were my king,
i would have crawled hands and knees, blisters popping like your
car speeding, impressing the ladies with your hair flicks and
tricks
and i know now i am still that 15 ****** dress up girl to you, only i've
filled out, filled in, know where to put the eyeliner, make it waterproof,
knowing how to speak, my tongue is whipping and sharpening

the last time we spoke we didn't speak. you didn't let me.
you shoved the drinks down my throat so fast the cards were blurry and you waited oh so patiently. 'you're such a bad girl', you said.
with your manhood prodding me, you spoke mean. you never spoke nice.
i wonder if i'll always love and hate you.

for so long you made me question myself.
maybe i shouldn't have worn that, or said that, or placed my foot a certain way or maybe i showed my teeth too much or maybe i was being too flirty, or maybe not enough.
these self doubts became my condolences, and even after we were 'friends', you never looked at me the same way. i had to be 'friends' with you because my friends loved you, even after i told them what you did to me.

i see your face like beers shoved in the back of the fridge,
and i am so mad at you, so mad, so mad, so mad, you've taken my guts
and thrown them into the ******* sun.
i was fifteen, you were almost eighteen you and took my limbs and broke them all.
i was prettiest to you on my knees, but baby i am the most beautiful when i'm stabbing you you you you
repeatedly.

I'm never violent
unless it's self-inflicted

**** me for feeling
something
worthy of a heartbeat
right?

Pulsating my wrists
to my fists
and unleash vibrations
in a caustic manner

I will destroy the dreams
of Darling Wreckless,
wracking my brain
like Mara's
malicious temptations

A self-destructive
sequence
in a God-mode
fashion

No Romance,
just the way
you liked it.

Just the way
You ripped off
Your dress

And left me to
romanticize it
balled up
on my floor

Just the way
you teased and
denied
my poetic soul

You said it
felt so foreign

Like you were
never worthy
of the prose

You left me
Writhing and
Alone
and
I know
you know
You’re not perfect

I just wanted
you to feel
like a goddess
I worshiped
beyond words
even if you didn't
believe in something.

Believe me,
I did my best not to be
bitter

But your cynicism
was never ****

No one cares
What you don't
Like

You would
look into the
Grand Canyon
and just see a void.

Avoiding
the obviously
numinous

Like where
your heart
was

Before it was
split with a river
streaming your
constantly
pessimistic
consciousness.

Maybe I was too sweet
finishing last
like a nice guy
that you just
left salty

To
slide
down
the
throat
of your
thesis statement:

NO ROMANCE

At a crossroads again
With the ghost of my regrets
Spirit of the stairwell
We can only ascend

"We'll always have Shoe Factory Road"
she says
As she plunges the dagger
Into me

So slowly,
Taking her time
Twisting the blade
Deep
between
Bone
and the guts
I never spilled
Before her
Holy Matrimony

She tells me she'll
Always love me
Beyond physical means

Cutting even deeper
While she's everlasting
with my soul successor.

Standing on ceremony
I should have never
Held my peace.

At a crossroads again
with the ghost of my regrets
Spirit of the stairwell
*Only I can ascend.

Miss Maiden,
might I compare you
to that of the guillotine?

Your swooping grace
like the edge of a
shining
silvery blade
that curves and cuts
across the sky
so seductively
slitting the throat
of the horizon

From the threshold of dreams
to bring a new day
Where we feed our blood
back into the monotonous machine
then drop to our knees
and pray for divine intervention

My femme fatale,
Could you take me out of this?
to break cycle
before you wax away

You know you were always
my favorite deity,

Artemis, Artemis
You’re the art I miss
from a life unfulfilled
From the music

The untold story
agonizing inside
writhing for a release

So I’m drawing you down
to this plane
to hunt me as a willing sacrifice.

Won’t you drop from the sky
and come blow my mind?

Just leave my head in the basket.

Enemies arise
when I close my eyes
and push them back

Until I see constellations
sparks coming off of stars
of divinity vs. temptation

A transcendence I romanticize
until I got lost trying to focus
back on the truth

As Mara's army fires arrows
I feel the presence.

breathe in, breath out
sat nam

The Earth bears witness,
arrows explode
into blooming flowers

I am still here
I am
grounded.