i feel like i'm missing something, but i don't know what it is. when i was more immature and naive i assumed it was a lover. someone that would make my depressed mind whole again. but i realized i don't need someone else to make me happy. 2 years later and i still feel this empty feeling.
i guess i'll just wait a little longer...

I hate how I'm not doing anything with my life. I'm young and I should be having fun but instead I'm always sad and hating life. It gives me a sick feeling because I know one of these days I'll look back and think why the hell was I wasting my youth just moping around when I could have been enjoying life. I feel like I have no good memories to look back on but God forbid I can't stop feeling this way.

she always crossed the street so suddenly,
she would stand right on the curb as cars flew past her.
she wanted to drop out of high school.
run away, and just live her ******* life.
she hated being tied down to something or someone.
she taught me life shouldn’t be taken so seriously
and to live in the moment more often.
she was this mysterious, fearless girl
who wanted nothing more than to figure out this huge ****** up world.

they told me i was too young,
but what the hell did they know.
so what if i was in love with a boy
who always had messy hair and
eyes the color of the sea during a storm.
after years of being silent
i found someone who would listen,
rides in the backseat of a truck,
wind blowing my hair,
old rock music playing on the radio,
drinking coffee at 10 pm.
you made it seem okay to be so different.

I could write a million
Poems about that particular moment,
With our bodies so close together,
And my heart beating out of my chest.

The way you traced along my skin
ever so slightly
With your finger tips making me shiver.

You always said you loved my poems,
You said they made you feel free
And that you only wanted me.

So here I am writing a poem,
All & only for you.
And I just wanted to say,
I only want you too.

i heard mom
said amelia was dead.
she drowned
in her own
smoke. i did
not cry, i wondered
if she had anything
to tell me when
she disappeared from
this world.

but i must know before
she had told me, must
i not?

i am
h e r,
after all.