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Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
my perceptual imbalance regardless of talents spread out over a
   chronological lifetime
gives an obfuscated vision of a murky aberration  unfocused on
  all but the aperture
overwhelming  blind ambition especially when wrapped up in
   raiment of religion
becomes translucent in the implications and applications as they
  writhe into obligation
laid out in prostration in their zeal appealing to an ever evolving
  version of Valhalla  

even now we see demonstrations of new world rationalizations
  mired in implications
Machiavellian machinations as we seem to suddenly find need
  of insentient insensate
willing partisan participants who believe participating in sacred
   rights annihilations
in total disregard of patently salacious overbearing lying denying
   terrorizing  abomination...
............A SAD SAD TRADE FOR  WHAT WAS....
                .. OUR GREAT....OBAMA nation.
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2016
Gone too far now
To turn back the clock
Should I even want to
I made sure there was a lock
As change is not ever easy
Even toward a better accommodation
Where appreciation may be
Forthcoming for efforts of inspiration
That too often fly by on silent wings
Just a slight whisper in the wind

Completely unnoticed by the robotic drones
So reliant on the mass acceptance
And always wary of deviant freethinkers
 keeping watch so no one ever condones

But by God ! to hear them speak
The pride exuded for their upgrade
They always feel that they are so open minded
actually achieved by norms of life not obeyed??

And this... they truly seem to believe
I don't argue anymore
I don't attempt to show them any light
I just... Sadly I say this
I just get up and leave

Believe what it is you want to believe
I have absolutely no problem there
Until that belief comes full circle
And you believe in free and open speech
Allows you to post such things as
That fellow burning the American flag
Should I see him doing it I'll shoot him in the head that very spot

Or the woman who posted
Any veteran who votes for Hillary Clinton
Should have their right hand chopped off
And hundreds liked and agreed

I'm aghast at what people so often speak aloud
But I'm absolutely mortified by what they actually post
If only they would take a second or two
To look at what they actually wrote
And then really really really succeed
In being able to actually read!!!
Keith W Fletcher May 2018
Came to a point
where I was lost
On this long **** journey
Through the valley I crossed

Dangers lurk in ev..e..ry
shadows dark depth
a repast of pasts overt reactions
aware of my share of..
...short-lived attractions
I stumbled along the rutted pathway
Sloshing through the thickened mire
Of fallacy and morality and ...??
...All that has borne such sad inactions

In climbing up the valleys edge
I find my wearyness weighing down
The shattered frame of mind
Where I fear as I  get here....
How much of what I want to be or
Once hoped to be is scattered along ...
            ....the trail i left behind.

Came to a point where i was lost ...
                    betrayed by ....
      this backward swing of time.!
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2019
They stand in blatant disregard
Unmpressed by how deeplly scarred
The lives are
As they roll through
Protected by the coded hue
The twisted visions and pirate pose
Avast and untouched area grows
Where
A veritable smorgasbord  
of victims wait
and saturate
In the oily slime
Of those committing legal crime
Doing all they believe they can do
With anonymity
  and  assumed impunity
Behind the thinnest of veiled ruse
Blue lines and the sides each
will choose.
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2016
You made me money
You gave me *******
And sat so heavy
Oh my poor old brain
Did your best
To  drive me insane
I had the ball
But you provided the chain

I got so nervous
And I got so sick
I get so banged up
That I'd look like a wreck
I'd crawl around.... Looking
For just a speck
I broke the mirror
When I saw what it did reflect

I said goodbye
And you wished me well
Then you grabbed me
Drug me straight through hell
I got a ticket on a one-way trip
I felt the fingers
Of your icy grip
You said you need me
And that I needed you too
That might have been....
.... But I've got..
News for you

I've left the highway
Now I'm headed straight
Had to
Boogie
It was much too late
Back there is nothing
So I'm looking straight ahead
The highway is clear now
I can see
Where it led
It will lead you in circles
It will dizzy your head
Keeping you spending... Until you..
End up dead !

You made me money and you gave me *******
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
We know what reality
Becomes .....when the banality
Of everything
Has gone stale from overuse
Try to find  a spark of life
In what is rapidly
Becoming rife
Nothing is worth fighting for
EXCEPT.....FOR A TRUCE
But if you will
Just take a pill
And let it conquere every ill
Feelings ...that you
Just can't comprehend
And in this state of blissfullness
You miss your stop and then you end...up
Coming to the conclusion that you are lost

None of this will harsh your bliss
Unless you find ...that what you miss
Is destined to
Never ever .. Come Back Around

So if the army that you've enlisted in
Doesn't care if they lose
Or if they win
Is that the reality you think
That you have found

Because if it is then what it says
Is nothing but....
A pack of lies
Staring down the open pits
You realize that it's
What used to be your eyes

Then everything comes crowding in
Pushing you to defend
The status
That you never --felt
That you had earned
And then you find
You can't unwind
The tangled mess that you possess
Thats commonly  refered to as
Your daily grind

INDUCE ME TO GO CHEMICAL
REDUCE ME TO IMPERICAL
AS I THROW REASON
STRAIGHT..
... OUT THE DOOR
ANY SUBSTANCE I CAN FIND
TO HELP ME TO ERASE MY MIND
WILL SURELY HELP ME
FIND MYSELF A CURE

For all the pains that I have chained
To myself and noone else
Ever really knew ..that I
Even carried it around

The weight of the world
Wrapped around me like a steel cocoon
The only hope I can see
Is that someday --a better me
Will rise up to take what life will bring

Chrysilis is at the heart of
All my hopes and all my dreams
But chemicals keep putting holes
Chemicals keep putting holes
In all my future wings
Keith W Fletcher Feb 2017
Those appalling words
Just keep falling
Liquid lies ....seemingly
Without end ...emote

From that cavernous portal
Tumbling down...from
Heights imagined as.....

More grand than any mortal
EVER
Before or after
Will ever be equal to ...

This ostentatious ungracious... ......sacrilegious mutation

Sending out RSVP invitations
To the party to end all parties

A  last look to see whats trending
Then an all-out assault assigning fault
Before  defending the ending
As his legacy.....
....And his greatest creation

BANG
Keith W Fletcher Jan 2017
When I first met you
It was thru an Open Door
But I'm not sure I'm welcome here no more
So I...
... I'm going to say goodbye

Don't get me wrong
I'm not trying to say
That we didn't have our fun
I just got this feeling that time is done

And so...
... I can't say I didn't know
Once the minutes and the days began to move so slow
And I think you know
That it wasn't... the same way
That it had begun

For all that time alone
I will now have
I'm caught up and paid in full
As I hope...
... You have as well

Been compensated
By  something that you will retain
When I'm gone and silence Reigns
I've been there before and I know
Just how it feels
And it's never easy

I came in through an Open Door
So today...
... I'll be going out a different way
Cuz I don't want to spoil
That feeling back then
When you let me in
So that then I can pretend
It never really did close
Even though
Even though we will both know
That it's just for show

Leaving out the back door now
Gently I pull it closed behind me
Don't want no scene or slamming door... To remind me
That it had its time
And it had run its course
No there's no denying as I go
On my back is a big remorse

That will bear its weight on my mind
Until that day that I will find
It's all but gone
That day...
... Won't be coming soon
It will take awhile for me to smile
And to sing a different tune
In the back of my mind

So now I've walked about a hundred yards
I turn back to wave at what once was
Shades are all drawn
And it's all dark inside
So even though you know we silently agreed
My leaving has still hurt your pride

I know... Oh how I know
I've been there before
Keith W Fletcher Jan 2021
What comes of addiction
a predilection
A two times round
the same intersection
looking for an accident
a reason to get bent
out of shape
out of mind
out of the mendacious ...
...daily grind
that keeps telling all of us
you must work hard
Smile all the while
that your life is shrinking
your passbook is sinking
deeper and deeper
underwater
Take 2 weeks off
the change will do you good
but you know that behind the smile there is guile
theres no chance
to remain complete
in the face of defeat
when you and yours are addicted
afflicted with ....
a silly need to eat !
Keith W Fletcher May 2019
What love beyond
The treasures mount
Of sailing winds
Or spewing fount
Past pure Blue skies
And pristine eyes
That see inside you
Like second sight
What universal wonder
And excitements await
To assist your memories
Those yet to come and
Those still to touch
What dog will be there
awaiting  your reunion
On what eternal spaceship
Will your sights behold
Those things
Your fingertips have yet to touch?
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
passing by the roadblocks
of those utterly devoid of inspiration
I grind my gears in frantic agony
through artless days and pastel nites
the last drops of forbidden nectar looms
far back on the parody of my tongue
and I asleep in the drivers seat...listening
to the horrid sound
my gear teeth clinched hard
to placate the need by the promise
of gold plated plastic ornamentation
fulfilling  the impossible climb

the austere instigator of forgotten melodies
slides closed the gateway ahead
in clear violation of the unwritten laws
that govern all worthwhile endeavor
now those gates wreak of cynical deviance
nirvana open to all who seek to reach the peak
so far beyond impossibility ...wide open
by bane of fence.. no recompense for that gate

with my tongue overhung from morose overdose
in failed attempts of finding the trace
of even the most scant memory
now lies frozen in the throes
of twisted convolutions

while my nostrils fill with acrid smoke
as gear teeth commence to melt
suspended halfway up the impossible climb
I am pushing hard the acceleration
aided by the rigor mortis of my seizure

asleep at the wheel with all wheels grinding

while those below the uninspired guardians
stare up in unimpressed confusion
where fire and smoke screams of agony
as the dream possessed begins to melt
reaching critical mass of inevitability
caught between the high mark of false sanction
and a bottom of craggy rock distortion
like a monsters teeth and open maw
awaiting with patient disregard
at the wheel the visionary sleeps
amid symbolic ritualistic boundaries
od'D on the wreckless need
for heights not guaranteed

but out on the windswept plains
of wordless twists and rigid tongue
the flaming mass shudders to that
unrelenting silent rage of aberration
then begins the tumble to the patient maw

the message flashes through
the sudden adrenaline flooded brain cells
like the flashing signs of hiway construction

last message passing by
in bright flashing neon
tomorrow will bring inspired risktakers
who now know the starting pattern
because I can say I made it beyond
all odds where none before have gone
by passing the dreaded roadblocks
at the far end of human imagination.

I od"D on the wreckless need
for heights not guaranteed .
Keith W Fletcher Jun 2020
there was never anybody
in my life but you
I never really saw it
because I didn't have a big enough view
to really see it...
....for what it always was

When my life got tough
and I fell on my face
I would  have been lost
if you hadn't given me a place

To rest...to take a deep breath
you said ..." its just what a real friend does !'

when I got stronger and  could stand
-on my own two feet
making  myself a promise that those
mistakes made I would never ever  repeat

so the one I  made should have shocked me awake
but I guess I never felt even the slightest buzz

then came that day I finally slowed down
taking a look around and back at people I had met
you stood out like a bright light in the darkest dark
I knew nothing would ever ease the pang of regret

for not realizing how important you
and what you did for me really was

Or for not seeing you
for who   you really were
how it never did occur ...to me ...
...that you had to be
the one person
that gave me everything

everything I've got in my life
I want you to know -I owe - to you
so anything I have - if you need it
then it's yours simply because... it always was
but I guess I forgot the words you once said

" its just what a real friend does !"
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2016
Hey ... Out there
I'm worried about my wife
Could somebody please take her a message
Tell her everything will be ok
Man I don't know
This has just been a really weird day
That much I can truly say
Because I lived it

Let's see... I got up as usual at 5 a.m.
Like always I kissed her cheek
She never knows I do it ... I've asked
But I like it because she mumbles in her sleep
What she says or doesn't say matters not
Is the little smile that appears that I'm after
I catch it in my cortex and then slowly let it seep
Into every fiber of my being
As I deal with my working day

Sometimes it's like it's a 3D image
Floating right out in front of me
Usually when some wackadoo  corporate ****
Is making it extra hard for me continue to be
A puppet
Yeah that's right
Then if you don't understand it
Chances are you're probably White

Now I'm not lumping you all together
Though I can say this much for sure
You will never understand my existence
And what each day I must endure

This day has just been plain stupid
I know of no other word to express
The way a simple stop to pick up milk
For my twin girls breakfast can become such a mess

Put your hands above your head
Get on your knees
Don't move or I'll shoot you
Get down on your knees
For a Split Second Abbott and Costello
Flittered through the Kaleidoscope behind my eyes
And I think it was that little smile that that created
Was what sealed my eternal fate

Those cops just shot me I said
So why do I not feel any pain
The slow staccato echo of gunshots
23 times I counted - again and again and again

Crazy man - this is just crazy
So I say again to the man pushing the Gurney
Just before they load me into the ambulance
Just after they pull the blanket over my head
Hey you out there I'm worried about my wife
I don't know...what
she and the girls will do now... Now that I am dead
Keith W Fletcher May 2018
I ain't looking
for no instructions
no friendly faces
or interdictions
I'm not in need
Don't need your adorations

From now ....until
The end of my incarceration
"No need to utter ...cluttered inanities
Like how 'you FEEL me!' "
GRRRrrr..ain't no way
that that can be!

There is no words
that ever will free me
From this restless soul being ...
...that it would seem....
            ....I am.... deemed...
to be!

I remain ..the constant ....
...intermittent  
That endures the missing time
that time takes away from me!

I ain't looking ...for no instructions ....
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
They've told me to be myself
For as long as I can remember
But as I watch the fireplace blaze
As I contemplate the ember
It was-what it was-a feeling
And it is what it is--revealing
That at any moment
At any time
As the clock ticks
As the hours chime
Nothing really changes
EXCEPT-- the time thats left
To do that for which you're suited
And to do your best
An ember is an ember
But only in its name
It started life as wood or coal
It will still be the same
Until It turns into dust
The FINAL stage of life
And it will as everything will
Do what it must
To fulfill its destiny
With all its many changes
Dealing with how life rearranged
EVERYTHING and EVERYONE
Every second of every day
THAT my friend....
....is how you be .....yourself...
... In every BLESSED WAY!
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2016
The words...
Blood-stained and rusted
From too long... Squeezed
Between clenched teeth
Fell from his mouth
Ponderous
To almost elicit
An  audible thud
Upon slamming into
The scratched... Torn
And somewhat forlorn
Ancient linoleum floor
Some six feet below
Where they shattered
Like fresh eggs
Becoming scattered
In fragmented resignations
Abstract
In that surreal and demented
Opposition
To the artistic design
Of circular symmetry  
And parallel lines
All but worn down
To  absolute unseen
Ignored without that juxtaposition
Formed by those withered words
Held in... For so long
To be utterly dead
Thereby bringing back to life
A century old
Piece of artistry
Long only seen
As ... just really hard to mop
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2021
Born into
a dying moment
dry breathing
and distant sounds
the Echoplex
of stacatto reverberations
as Causeless care
is Shuffled lightly
each dealt
a sovereign play
of words - deeds
becoming seeds
planted
below
the Flatline screen
the rooted vein
of blood -fed
abberations
averted versions
by abbrogated
participation
in colluded
Instituted falsification
declarations
leaving each one
only the thinnest
of self- satisfying sanctuary
within
those deepest recesses
of absolution
that place
that never sees no sun
rooted deep
entangled
by rote remote repetition  until received - until believed there was nothing... Nothing nothing ... nothing we could have done.
Keith W Fletcher Jul 2016
We all know
That life isn't always easy
But what would life be like - if it were?
Without the Peaks and valleys
Life would be absolutely flat
How would we ever appreciate
A landscape ... Anything like that
Therefore my love my life
I'll take the highs and lows
Appreciating the very fact
That you want to be beside me
On a journey... With a destination now
Something I had always lacked
I'm not sure just where we're going
Or where we will be when we arrive
I just know the joys in the journey
As you... My passion...makes it a Joy   
  Just to be alive
So now we have wings born of a lofty heart
Where beats the rhythm of love
So fly with me now unfettered...
... Yet never far apart
Connected to each other ... forever
By  the things that we have shared
Happily emersed in the Eternal knowledge
Of knowing you found someone who cared ... really... really cared !

And I really do know...
... That you do.
Keith W Fletcher May 2018
Backward steps
are sometimes...
..the bracing
Necessary!
to ready ourselves
For.....
... .that next forward step  
Into the stiff wind
Of opposition!
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2019
A breakdown in the system
Doesn't seem to bother me
I'm too busy payin the bills
To worry about others misery
Revolutions have to wait
Till all the parties get in line
But they're all still waiting on uniforms
That noone has yet .....to design

Working at cross purposes
From a thousand different ways
Just makes a working stiffs ....
           ......eyes go dull
Like they're walking in a haze
They hang like meat at the end....
                  ....of the day
Shuffled along with all their toys
That shields them from the real real world
Behind a great wall
of  consistent white noise

It will bring the world together
Said the spider king one day
And the world changed in a second
A thousand years faded away

While smoke hung like a curtain
And lightening lit the sky
Buildings crumble with ferocity
As people continue to die
Bringing the world together
Seems to push us more apart
Somehow it seems that every end
Is just...
...another new start

False starts beg the question
Is this the final dream we've sought
Cash in for what your buying
Cash out for what you've bought

Revolutions have to wait
For all the parties to get in line
I'm still too busy payin the bills
And now I'm working off my fine

A breakdown in the system
Doesn't seem to bother me
A breakdown in the system
Hope you're not counting on me
A breakdown in the systemmmm
A breakdown bre bre  aaakdoooo........
In the syyysttteeeeeerdm.....
Keith W Fletcher Jan 2016
Empower me
With the keen edge
Of cathartic sagacity
And I will dance
In exalted  tribute
To daybreaks invincibility
Double time
While quoting  rhyme
To the downbeat slash
Of the scarecrows scepter
While compatable
Emulation
Exposed to rarefied
Imagination
As the keep of the keys
Pounds out
The scathing expose
That dredges up
Those
Benumbed and bewildered
Riders
Who have been
Constantly
Overexposed to the negatives
Developed
In those darkrooms
WHERE
Expedited promises
Secretly enacted
Enabling
Blankcheck *******
Of any and all
Faithful believers
Of our beloved Carrousel
That we have
Always  insisted
Is the keepsake
Bequeathed
To all the concerned
Caretakers--once empowered
With the keen edge
Of cathartic sagacity
Now just
Trying to keep dancing
To the fading  calliope music
As too many
Once - synchronised
Elements
Of our revolving
Carrousel  
Are going wrong
Breaking down
Keith W Fletcher Apr 2016
This is the story
About a young man
Who is taking his first steps
On a journey he began
Through time and changes
And Illusions  of love
He's been burning  bridges
All on the run

Never seems to care now
That he can't return
And never realizing
Too soon he will learn
That you can't reuse
What it is you burn

Chasing shadows
Illusions of love
Always seeing something
Just above... the horizons in his eyes

He just keeps on chasing
Shadows in the night
But there can be no Shadows
When there's no light
By the way that he stumbles
You"d swear he was blind
But it's just that he can't see
Beyond the darkness
Of his own mind

Running Blind
Never to find
What it is he's looking for
Running Blind
So unkind
That he will never ...
...Know the score

Burning Bridges
All behind
Too late to turn back now
Burning Bridges
All before
Now there's nowhere to run to....
... Anymore

Running blind
Chasing Shadows
Leaving pieces all behind
Walking through the rubble
Of twisted broken time
He sttumbles on  through
While....
....Still running blind
Too late to turn back now.
I tried to be civilized until I realized ....
... That ain't never going to be me
For some it may be the door to success
To me it's always been just another lock door
And I ain't got no effing key
Won't try knocking or ringing the bell
Cuz there ain't nobody inside that I need to see

So I just kept on walking and then  I began  to notice
all the windows were full of people
nd all those people
Were staring out at me.

I tried waving as I was passing
All I got in return was blank stares at me
It was as if they had no clue
As to what it is that  they should do
I want to say I'm as sorry as I can be
If one of those people turns out to be you

Those who believe that the fancy overpriced car
Makes them who they are
or followung  what is  trending
from day to day
In order to decide what is good
Without making up their own mind
As to why it is said to be so......
So?
Soooo .....so WHAT?

If everyone in the world turned their back on you
Would you take this as a clue...
...about what it takes to be you?
Or will you turn your back the same
In order not to stand out or be noticed
By joining the clic

To become  just another unmorticed brick...
...in the wall?
Then that click click....clickity clack
sound
You hear echoing loud and clear
Will be the sound of my shoes quick steppin
Getting me the hell out of here

Are any of your opinions
From you and you alone... or you
as one of the minions
Or .. do you truly not know,...
Then I hope it's understood
that the question
Will never be answered
Nor will the non-answer ever be questioned

For no one but you has a single clue
When it comes to what you truly believe.

Following the trends in order to make friends
That's what is commonly called
a means to an end
or - too often -simply just dust in the winds

Like a young sapling in the woods
without any means to defend
Bebt to and fro
While at the mercy of the prevailing winds
That aids in its flexibility...
...ensuring it has the facility
To take on the heavy winds of lifes ever changing courses
Going stronger evermore
by using the winds own forces
while across the way
  that sheltered oak
Growing in the enormous shadow of a most magnificent oak
With its ability
to obscure even the most ardent of prevailing winds
Ensuring that it's prodigy
grows tall and straight ...
and never bends . Until the day
eventually comes
The results of nature's whims lightning.... fire or as time and age descends
Upon the spot so long occupied

Left alone and on its own
There stands the acorn born
magestic  oaks living clone.. as it were.... Although sad to say it is not.

It's a structure standing
Of rigid stance.
Sans crowning joy
Or twisted limbs
Courtesy of the over protection
That afforded it no chance .... No chance to be itself
And  live its own life.


*
*

We will be back for this one soon enough "said the arborist " who had accompanied the forestry crew as the they ascended upon the backwoods and heavy forest on a mercy mission to safely bring down and salvage the old growth wood of the  mighty oak.
" What's that you say there Bert?" said Bob Aaron the crew chief .
" I said that we ..or as you might put it Bob....Oh heck  in a hand basket listen to this" and he slapped palm to trunk and the drum beat ( as old as time itself ) announced the emptyness within .
  " Oh Good golly what do you think happened to it b/c she sure looks good from the outside.?"
   "A lot of things I suppose happened in this time here ,..but mostly what didn't happen that did most damage as it was shaded from the Sun... protected from the winds and h ail or lightning and was essentially doomed by overprotection and not being able to live the kind of life where one needs a few hard knocks and stresses put upon it..... In order to grow strong and have a solid interior or soul - you might say "
"Well I'll be darned as a fisherman's sock Bert .,. You're a poet and a philosopher."
  " Well, maybe so.. but mostly I'm an arborist and my job is to make things strong, give it the  ability to live better ...or decide when their time has come to give up the ghost and move to the next phase...and when you think about it all living things- be a tree ,plants or man- the only difference in our lives and death is that a tree orr most bushes live a life of green and when they've died and fallen to the ground they turn brown; whereashumans for the most part live one shade or another brown and when they die and fall to the ground they will turn to a green color..... if nobody comes along to pick them upm up and take them to the mortician " said the arborist Bert to the astonished crew boss Bob .
  " What the damp rag are you talking about and ...and ...?
  " You forgot to saycomedian in that list of things earlier" said Bert with a smile beeaking through his deeply tanned and wrinkled outdoors man's face ..." And did I just hear you say damp rag? he chuckled.
  " Yeah ,well you almost got me on that one Bert and I came really close to slipping up for the first time in 4 years."
" Four years.... I didn't know,or I would perhaps have thought twice had I known that "
   " No worries Bert if I had lost the record to that one it would have been f__ing well worth it.!"
It was Bert's time to be astonished as he whipped his head quickly to gaze over toward Bob, who continued- without a break in the conversation - "you didn't think you were the only comedian in these woods there did ya...besides it's only been 4 weeks 2 days and whatever... Hey guys we're going to go ahead and take that the other one right there down but be careful she's just as hollow is Berts wallet whenever  we go out to dinner together "
  "We ain't never been out to dinner together Bob"
  " Yeah" said Bob" and now you know why that's true" and with that he quickly moved on to join his crew  ahead leaving  Bert standing there as static is an old growth tree an, staring after Bob with astonishment and a bit of admiration as he said  "well I'll be a damp rag!
   "I heard that!
    ----***---

The real truth here is that we never really know people like we think we do, if we never take /took the chance... or we are never given the chance to...
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
By small measure or dispensation
It would seem what's trite may become contrite
By con or connection - substitution or subjection
Going along to get along won't turn wrong to right
Was always proud to not follow the crowd
As so many just clique along followers without a clue
Always seeming to lag behind my independence disallowed
They say two wrongs don't make a right...I smile and say NO! but three lefts do.

Think about it.
Keith W Fletcher Jul 2016
Ropes are an arbitrary constituent of
My often meandering campaign of self-sufficiency
Where often times I find myself wondering
If I were elected or selected for my role as the dejected

So the sudden appearance
Of this length of rope
Attached somewhere up above in obscurity
To dangle before me as innocently as a kids swing
Or as menacingly inviting as a 13 Loop hangman's noose

Timing is often the real hero
Or culprit
Of any grand production
Whether on the stage or in the simple act
Of oneself coming of age

With open eyes as I taste the lies
That had become so familiar to the script
That I never even trip
As the words  would slip
Lifeless and indistinguishable
From my hapless lip

There was a time as I wandered
Around the cracked and worn down
Asphalt parking lot in my mind
Seeking a parking spot and often finding
Naught- as once again the daily spin
Had ushered in
That loud and obnoxiously redundant crowd
Of oxygen-dependent hypocrites
That look and sound and think
Just like me

That then is the point where I begin
To accept that no parking spot exists
As I make the endless loops and twists
Assuming that I can convince myself
It's just my bad luck
To be looking left- as I drove right by
What obviously I must have missed

LIE... an absolute  lie !!

Right there in front of me like a flashing Neon traffic cone
So even if I close my eyes
To pretend that I don't recognize and realize
Its very existence
But I know and I saw  and I heard
It all... The very second that it occurred
As the blinding flash so intense
As to make me wince
As it penetrates my fragile human eyelids

I am there
So disengaging  the  useless gear
Setting the brake... For my stranded
Almost abandoned
Soul's sake

Killing the ignition as a form of contrition
Open the door and take the key... As if it were a part of me
Wondering what was the reason for
Being that a crowd of me
Would actually steal anything from myself
Wait a minute...
... I've already been doing that. A lot
A whole parking lot

I cannot stay here among the throng
For very long
Reminding me of just how wrong
A man can really be

I need to walk and walk
Let my inner voice and my fragile shell
Have a long past due talk
As a way to maybe break the spell '
So with a swift  backward glance
Gave to me that welcome chance....
... To see
That this was my lot in life
Where what I was leaving behind
was in fact...
Right there- right where it belonged Parked in the very parking spot
I had been looking for
That that I had had all along all along

A crowded mind
Makes it extremely hard to find
The power in taking the lead...
By helping out
That part of yourself that sometimes goes blind

There is not an easy fix or magic tricks
Or any color wax to fill in all the nicks
No school books or rule books
No tools hidden in some obscure nooks
That the ID or the EGO somehow always overlooks

So with wide open eyes
as
I'm walking
in circles
Endless circles
So when that rope materialized
Weary to the bone I'm so dreadfully tired

As if in quicksand I were mired

And so concerned
About the way my directions had turned
I continued determinedly onward
To work out the kinks and find the weak links

   Determined to identify
 As I learn to rely
On my ability to accept
That
To try is to try
Only I will ever know
The depth of that turn
Or the heights of my concern
Or when
I yanked myself
Back up to the surface

The circles that I now walk
Knowing that I have not a single clue
Where or which way I'm going
No sign posts or  monuments to mark the horizon

I'm noticing
That these circles as
I hold on to this rope
ARE
Getting smaller as to shorten the distance
Between the times I wallow in
The incendiary and intrusive and abusive
As the future will be
Filled with those inconclusive reasons why
Across this path over and over and over again
With increasingly diminishing respite

No loss is ever absolute if the resolute
Soul of man can accept that there's  always
A plan when looking with more than just eyes
While hearing with more than just the ears
Believing what was heard is more than just word upon word
Hope is as i am now at the crossroads of hope
A sunny  field of dew - tinged flowers

As that rope has led me down to simple single turns
Each time completing a circle
No slack left
But I am far far from bereft
As I am now aware of where
I am
The end of the rope
And therefore out of Hope?
Nope !!

' I exist  at the U turn
The New Direction
The ever-expanding revelations
The lengthening and strengthening of my path
And able now to see my false trail end

So with key in hand
I  reverse course and with no remorse
I'm going back to that spot
In that now empty parking lot
Marveling at that now pristine silence
So now we have a much lighter load
I turn the key put my life in gear
And get back out on the road

Oh how I love a good road trip
I cached the shadow in the darkest night
and stand pale as pale in the brightest light
I fall down in the cracks of the sand
I ask for nothing in the face of your demand
That I betray myself for nothing ...insteàd
Of all that I value inside my head
I can't replace what someone else took
And I'll never be able to find it no matter how hard I look
I could willingly and easily let you drag me down
Let you wrap me up and rags and treat me like a clown
Without false pride I wouldn't fall too far
I wouldn't carry any wounds like a jagged scar
Nor stoop from the overbearing weight and let it break my stride
Right now I feel i need to stand behind you
Walk along right beside you and do what I need to do
To stand up for you ...
try to find some way to help restore you ....
....to...
Whoever you decide you need to be
Stand guard outside the door
the door that allowed you to disappear within
Pay no over budget price
it might cost
to point out ... Where or why you decided to hide
Away from The whole world at Large
Until then I'll be standing here
Until you are -once again- ready to take charge .
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2018
...... my memories get fuzzy
As life pushes buttons easy as operating a microwave
In warming up
a midnight snack real blueberry pie
And there in the Stark lights
Of my Barren land my kitchen table
I am able
To be trans ported
To those vans
That early life awarded night skies
When youth afforded
And we reined Supreme
like wild horses
Free to roam - free to be before the calamities
Absorbed it all
Down... To the bones
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2016
Inside these cold sterile walls
Somewhere between life and death
I sit in somber solitude
As the white coat solemnly approaches

I  gauge the countenance
  Tremulous mess ....
.. upon bated breath
Suddenly... I was moving
Past the speed of light
Straight through all the darkness
Of this obscenity

Platitudes passed along
On paper plates of awkwardness
This reproachful atropos night

Suddenly slamming the brakes
Screeching all the way up to the guardrail
At the very edge of eternity

There at the rail I cursed the Gods
In a voice as loud as anything I've never ever heard
A voice so shaky
As to create an echo
In its own formation

While this silent gravity of infinity
Absorbs every single word
Even inside my head I could not hear
Anything of what I might imagine ...
... that I had screamed

Still I felt an internal satisfaction...
..... At the very action
Then I turned and WE walked back down my path
For  weeks and weeks it seems
Past visions of serene beauty... of OUR.shared history
That no mere mortal ...might hope to see even in dreams

As if I were  suddenly ****** awake
By someone speaking my name
White coat speaking
And there I sat
Inside these cold sterile walls
Somewhere between life and death
I began catching up to my suspended breath

I watched as he mouthed  all of the words...
  ... that I never heard
I had already seen everything
Written on his face... When he first appeared
Long before this final approach
Everything had already been said

That ever needed to be said

For on that long slow walk back along the path
I had been- in lockstep- hand in hand- sharing the exquisite beauty - with my love - my heart - my friend - who had reached their end

Nothing needed to be said
I already knew
So I took a step - stepping around death
Took a deep breath... exhaled

It's never ever easy... But life does go on
Keith W Fletcher May 2022
sometimes I wish I knew
how hard life is for you
but all I can ever do....
is try and imagine.

Not knowing where you've been
or the how or why you came to be in...

leaves me to wonder
when
did itall begin to spin
out of control

I can't live in your skin
or see life the way you do
but I can honestly assure you that  it's easy to see
that the smile you share doesn't come anywhere near
to hiding the pain...
I see in your eyes

.Yet each and everyday
I see you out here
and I say
how you doing?, then as I pass on by
I always ask myself why
I keep asking that..   when it's obvious that I know
That
the answer is " not good "

its just how you lift your face , straighten your back
, give me that smile
without a trace of bitterness
to be heard...
  in each simple word
That so graciously you  return,
" Doin fine and thank you for asking "

AND....... Thats why
I always stay my course,,
nodding and smiling
as I pass on by,
for each and every time
I start to cry
.Not sure why
but its what I do

But it's not because
I feel sorry for you
that my tears start to  flow
NO!
Although it could be true
That  I may feel sorry for you

But the tears are for me
Because...you see

  I feel sorry for myself
Because I haven't a clue
how hard life must be for you.

... and I cry for me myself ... because
Truly.....
.....I can"t even imagine.. .
Keith W Fletcher Apr 2016
Do they know
While in the foggy depths of
Or the level to which they rise
As they hurl stones at the hapless dove
In absolute retribution
Spewing lies
Denial.... set to rile
The now lost and soon to be tossed
Disillusioned
Back into the reality prescription
Overdosed on the rhetoric
Left in the vacuum
Of the imploding star of incredulity
Launched by nothing nearing reality
Into the frenzied - hyperactive atmosphere
Deflated and overrated
As masses of mud frames somehow sated
By hate built absolution
Humanity lost as demonstrated
By evil personified
Non-- inclusion
As helpless friends stand by disillusioned
As if the loss they now invision
Confounded by the lack of any solution
Were they drowning - hope would exist
For rescue would be welcome
Not something those sinking would resist
The Living Dead will soon be discarded
By the furor and the faithless pretense

Pushed out the gate
Fired.... from the crumbling tower
By the big cannon in retreat
They stand- dazed and amazed
At what they know they've lost
By paying homage
With the only valuable thing that they ever owned
Trust - Love and Understanding
Rescuers
Who couldn't save them
From drowning among the throng
Into which they were sunk by simply standing among
And refusing to see the reality
Of what it takes to watch the rise  
Of an evil soul - out of control

Being fed on unbelievable lies
When the gate slams shut
And the dogs are let loose
The street will be full
Of those whose faith was sadly abused
As their mud forms were simply being used
Can they ever return? IDK.
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2017
So i must be gone. 2 poems in a row
Cant get on.
Keith W Fletcher Jul 2017
The question often hovers around me
Sometimes intrusive enough, my head will spin
What the hell was that ...where did it come from
Who knows ? I wonder... as I lay down the pen!!
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2016
Mass population
Overthrow
Higher elevation
Another plateau
Reach for the sky
Shoot down the stars
Strung out
Flnng out
Like Celestial garbage
From here to Mars

Constant confusion
Insanity
Distant illusions
A travesty
Calling out
In silence
What do you hear
You'll hear nothing
If it's nothing - you fear

Spaced out perspectives
Right and wrong
Mission objectives
That go right along...
... With
Increasing intrusions and suicide
Seeking Solutions that's never been tried

Some of us hope
Unrelentingly believing
That the answers do exist
Somewhere
Out there in the void
Flung out
Strung out
Just like the stars
In some kind of celestial garbage bin
Stretching from Earth...
... All the way to Mars
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
We know what reality
Becomes .....when the banality
Of everything
Has gone stale from overuse
Try to find  a spark of life
In what is rapidly
Becoming rife
Nothing is worth fighting for
EXCEPT.....FOR A TRUCE
But if you will
Just take a pill
And let it conquere every ill
Feelings ...that you
Just can't comprehend
And in this state of blissfullness
You miss your stop and then you end...up
Coming to the conclusion that you are lost

None of this will harsh your bliss
Unless you find ...that what you miss
Is destined to
Never ever .. Come Back Around

So if the army that you've unlisted in
Doesn't care if they lose
Or if they win
Is that the reality you think
That you have found

Because if it is then what it says
Is nothing but....
A pack of lies
Staring down the open pits
You realize that it's
What used to be your eyes

Then everything comes crowding in
Pushing you to defend
The status
That you never --felt
That you had earned
And then you find
You can't unwind
The tangled mess that you possess
Thats commonly  refered to as
Your daily grind

INDUCE ME TO GO CHEMICAL
REDUCE ME TO IMPERICAL
AS I THROW REASON
STRAIGHT..
... OUT THE DOOR
ANY SUBSTANCE I CAN FIND
TO HELP ME TO ERASE MY MIND
WILL SURELY HELP ME
FIND MYSELF A CURE

For all the pains that I have chained
To myself and noone else
Ever really knew ..that I
Even carried it around

The weight of the world
Wrapped around me like a steel cocoon
The only hope I can see
Is that someday --a better me
Will rise up to take what life will bring

Chrysilis is at the heart of
All my hopes and all my dreams
But chemicals keep putting holes
Chemicals keep putting holes
In all my future wings
Keith W Fletcher May 2018
"Why am I walking in circles?"
Wait, I've heard that recently...
...or have I said that before?
Am I walking around in pajamas?
Well ...pajamas and a robe that's better
Better? Better what?
Better me than you ........Okay Samual
I hear you ....
.....where you hiding ...Is mom and dad home?
Where am..." Why am I ......
why am I walking around in circles?"
Here come those people ...I'm supposed to know them
They like it when I smile and nod
I've seen them before .....!?
Why am I walking around in circles ?!
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2016
There are no stop signs
On the Highway to Hell
No speed limits or speed bumps
As far as I can tell
No toll gate...
  ... or ticket booths

For those who speed all the way
There's just a traffic controller
Making sure your road is clear
Until you reach the point of no return

That is when your future and fate are sealed
Take notice of the three cornered sign
Three points of the trinity
And the warning yet to be revealed
Pay close attention...
...my wayward friend

Sometimes it's good to stop
When the sign simply says yield

The Highway to Hell doesn't have to be a one-way trip... U-turns are allowed.
Keith W Fletcher Apr 2016
When everybody starts listening to themselves
We might get somewhere
Lost in the confusion is the primary illusions
That we're getting there
I see nothing wrong with believing
But somehow the opposition
Creates a deep division
Look at the strange decisions
That created this collision

I ain't a politician
Telling you about my vision
I ain't a missionary
On a sanctified mission
I'm just a man
With a pen in my hand
Trying to figure out
What I don't understand

When everybody starts looking at themselves
We might see something
Lost in the vision is the depth of the indecision
That keeps blinding us
That keeps binding us
To a past not worth reliving
To a cast that's always giving
The best performance
They can muster
Still it's without any kind of luster
As dull as dishwater
Someone really oughta
Pull the plug on this crap

Let it all go down the drain
And even that might entertain
The masses and their hunger
For the latest and the greatest
The lovers and the haters
And all the beraters

I ain't a politician
Telling you about my vision
I ain't a missionary
On a sanctified mission
I'm just a man
With a pen in my hand
Trying my best to figure it out
But I just don't understand
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2016
Recent thought
Caught
In the revolving door
To my mind
Giving rise to questions
Molestation
Of things I believed
Were settled long ago
So now I am forced
To reconvene
The meeting
Just as the hall was clearing
As the last of them
Was going through the revolving door
And are now reappearing

Such is the weight
To be carried
By the inquisitive mind
To look for something
You never even knew
That you
Even wanted to find

So here is my quandary
If something isn't just black or white
And is in the grey area
One shade grey.... dark or light?
As it spans its scale
Does it graduate from light to dark?
That would make it immeasurable !

Anything that fails the black and white mark
Would be mired in shades of confusion
So it must be one shade
Of murky.. fog like.. swamp water
A smoke choked delusion

So after a bit of thought
To chase the blahs away
I've decided it's never really been
A satisfying concept-- for me anyway
Crazy.... Maybe....Okay...YES!
I believe I've always seen
A veritable rainbow of colors
Existing in that sacred realm between

For instance
What would be the harm
In trying to comprehend another
By saying I'm not sure about that?
I see it as orange or green
One-- or the other
Wouldn't that be a better way...
...To understand one another?

I think that's a tangerine thought
So what do you think?
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2016
I'm puzzled by my missing pieces
And that no one seems to notice
Could this be how they see me...
... as  completely incomplete
Accepting that I am who I am
Without reservation
Regardless of the picture on the box
Now wouldn't that be nice?
Smile... It completes us all.
Keith W Fletcher Jun 2016
My body burns
From the trail you left
As you blazed your way
Across my soul
Creating a roadmap of  
All the places you've been
All the parts of me that you know
Allowing me the knowledge
That I've pulled myself together
Complete ... making myself whole
While my body burns with the  passion Causing  my soul to glow
From the warmth of your smile
That will always warm my heart
Keith W Fletcher Jun 2017
If you have a minute
Then you must -
- take the time
To give a little thought
To what you have in mind
So if you choose to speak
Instead of contemplate
You'll hear what you just said
A millisecond of time too late
And in your mind -
You'll wonder-  
Or then again... Maybe you won't
But if those people around you
Say they understand -
- but they really don't
You'll never have -
- a seconds time
Or the chance to take it back
The hours linger
The day's collide
The years we have
The thoughts we lack

The years we have
To fill a crumpled sack
The years we have
The years we have...
... To fill
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
On a shortcut to
My echoes end
I drag my carcass
Kickin ' and screamin' out
That it WASN'T ME
Boom.., Boom ..., BOOM
yea, yea, YEEEAAAAAAH !
Rock bottom --down deeper
   Deeper.. ..than the ...
Cold--- blue -----sea

All I wanted ... All I needed
     Was a reason
Just a reason to be
Thats all I needed--all I wanted
   But I never seem to find it...
......No matter how hard I've hunted
   I was walking through life
     On the edge of a knife
Sharper than my own hard edge
Sometimes the pain I control
     Will take me on a hard roll
     Down the hill and into
The bottom of the deep.....
       ......blue ...sea
   At the bottom ..at the bottom
At the bottom of the cold ,cold ,cold
Deep, deep , deep , DEEP BLUE SEA !
    
     So if you're bent on looking
And you want to find me
    Just turn the wrong direction
      Anywhere That you want....
      Thats where I'll be....
.......Thats where I will be .
   Be be bebebebelow  the surface
         Of the norm
             I will admit
   It's  so fuzzy and warm
         It's so hard to quit
              Don't know.......
      .......How many times
I've tried to convince my mind
But I haven't succeeded yet
                    So now I'm ......
               ....Draggin' my carcass
    Down these cold .. stone...steps
         Balancing my soul
   On  the edge of a knife
  KICKIN' and SCREAMIN' out....
       That I want back
       " I WANT BACK MY LIFE"
Keith W Fletcher Feb 2017
Sometimes it gets so crowded
That I don't know what to do
If I had somewhere else to go I'd be there instead ...

...of standing here

There are those times I wish
That I could simply disappear
But I don't know how or where
That could be ..because you see

It's always going to be crowded
Inside.......
         ........ my
                 ...........head !!
Keith W Fletcher Jul 2018
Wander along
The adoration passageways
Too long
Glowing in the light
Of ones own measure of success
You may feel....as if
You can soar like the eagle

But that may lead
To an ego deflation
A deficiency in value
From black to red
So no matter what
validations of admiration
You may receive
no evaluation
Will ever make dirt
Taste like a custard pie

So... Go easy
And believe in
your value to evaluate yourself
And then you... Will...
... Never get hurt
when dirt... Always
tastes like dirt!
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Just my fate
to live in a state
Where things are so...
.... backward
That the mirror view
Is a forward glance
And backward progress
Is no difference ...from a forward
Advance

It's not really part
Of the Bible belt
It's just below
The buckle
And right behind the zipper
Been here......
...most of my life
And though it has tried
From time to time
To become a smidge hipper

So far ...
It has been an absolute failure
Even though we reach ...out
To touch the tiniest shadow
Of the Color filled wonder
A state of bliss ..a state known
As Color.....COLORado.....

Though the chords are severed
And the fingers no longer
Are doing
Their earthly strumming
I will fullfill the promise...I made
Before you departed , and I stayed
To set up a life there ,and in your memory
I say my fate lies up in the Rockies
.......hold on ....I will soon be coming !
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
Imagination sometimes
Dances like a madman
At the periphery of my vision
Ducking into the shadows
Of empty thought
When I try to turn to see
But keep my words in check
As a portent of some future trap
Where I may catch the fiend
"Ah ha..I 've got you"
I may say to the fading dust
Of that which was-
-but isn't now
No cage or net
Except regret
May hold imagination down
It is not physical
It is not real
It is only a catalyst
A launching pad
Of fanciful flight
To space and beyond
Past time
Past colorful clouds
Of collapsing stars
And planets being born
A moonbeam slice of eternity
Spread across a lifetime
In just a minutes space
And yet I see it dancing
Just outside my periphery
"I see you"
Keith W Fletcher Apr 2019
the sun no longer shines
where I walk where I walk where I walk
but I cannot turn around from where I'm bound where I'm bound where I am bound!!

I find my self on a slippery *****
going down without a hope
Of  ever catching my-self a breath
Or anyone
ever
throwing me a rope
a rope...A rope...A Ro o o OPE!
there is no hope....NOOooo! NO ,,,,HOPE!!
  these dark days  the wind never blows
upon my back... upon my back
I have to hunker down and fight my way
ev er y step
Towards  those places
where I am bound
TO where I' am bound...because
the sun
no longer shines.....
Where Ever I walk!!!
Dark Days.
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2015
Having denied my spiritual side
For so long its very existence becomes suspect
While a worthiness in question
Opens doors to a trail of deception
That takes on a lifelessness of its own
Slowing  not growing
The humanity within myself
That wants to believe
It existed and still resisted
The very thing that was needed
Yet ;has always succeeded
In deflecting
What it was reflecting
As if it was something
You might see
In a funhouse mirror
Distorted and deceptive
Easy prey...for any soul
Willing to be receptive....
...to any negativity--real or imagined
As if ....there is ...
Absolutely no difference
From one to the other
POSITIVELY NEGATIVE
Withdrawing from all contact
Unable to interact
Convinced
That this path
Is the only one
That will lead me to my sanctuary
When in a convoluted reality
Its a lonely road
Always leading me around in circles

Where I perceive
That i achieve
Success
With every loop l make
Convincingly denying
That I've ever been here before

NOONE CAN LIE TO ME LIKE I CAN

Because I  KNOW that I'm lying
And simply refuse to accept it as fact
--------SO------
While the miles keep adding up
Time is the one constant
That denial can't ...
....erase, distort, deny, detract or subtract
A path that goes nowhere
Will always be
An empty, lonely and forgotten road
No loud, cheering crowds to greet you
Once you succeed in crossing the finish line
No satisfied feeling of exhaustion
That normally accompanies
Any endeavor
Worthy of its own inspired revelations

ACCOMPLISHMENTS need to be acknowledged
Or they wither on the vine ...so yes..
...there is noone that can lie to me
Like I can lie to myself

Having denied my spiritual side
For so long its very existence becomes suspect
I've come to the dishearted conclusion
That the depths of the confusion
Exists
In the very illusion
That that  mirror reflected
A totally, realistically  distorted vision
Unworthy of any sincere inspection
As if its being
Primed for rejection
As a portrait of the you that's been
...worldly inspired  
By all thats been desired
All thats been spiritually denied
By the things you once put aside
So now -- to feel totally unworthy
Of any salvation
When maybe --just maybe
I only saw what I wanted to see
Then lied to myself
So convincingly
That I came to believe
That I can only be
What others.....have always ....
Allowed me to  be.
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
to truly listen hear and understand
takes more than just the human ear  
required are those intractable elements
that hide somewhere beyond the outerinnersphere
adding the unwanted and too often unnoticed filters
designed to convolute what should be crystal clear
so that others perceive us as something that is more or less
than the way we aspire to see ourselves or wish to appear

again we see no end to connections that tend to override
unseen as any certain or uncertain sets of circumstance
A sharp conflict exists among notes it emotes that never floats
falling instead to B Flat as if dead on that floor so no one dances
where invitation becomes invasion so walls suddenly appear
  to block out light and inspiration as a way to halt any advances
all because we choose our view in direct relation to what applies
to our eyes as we're convinced we see all by quick sideway glances

but it takes more than eyes to realize that which is not there
so convinced we become incensed those reasons we cannot find
that somehow somewhere someway or another someone else
has pulled some kind of magic trick that then did inflict the mind
of all those who cannot see what it is that you believe it to be
" SO THE WHOLE DAM WORLD HAS GONE BLIND BLind  blind
as for all us who accept the truth you hear with more than by ear
see by more than just eyes to think requires more than just your mind

may have the makings of an empath mind if you find you're so inclined ask yourself if you truly TRULY  live up to your OWN expectations
to invest by this simply impossible test taken without time constraints
once able to refrain from creating the walls that block out inspirations to endure the painful cure by could never would never no way I'll ever
change my mind that are self fulfilling prophesies of your inclinations
so that day comes when you realize but know not when the test did end
to accept the grade you give yourself will depend .. ( congratulations )
when you have long talks with those who won't accept their own box
does exist and you persist and are sure you've not built yourself a box...
of clear glass....then friend you have just passed.    
now go find yourself a way to make a difference.     PEACE & LOVE
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
them words ..them words ..them words
I heard
just keep on bouncing round and round
inside my head
I can't seem to find a way
to let them out
but I just can't let them stay

because they will erode
the tranquility of my inner sanctity
that pious temple I used to be
left like the derelict
bell tower ..standing all alone
out in the desert-long abandoned
slowly eroded ,falling back to earth....
..brick and stone

that's not me
not WHO I AM!!
NOT AT ALL who I fought to become
yet they keep bouncing like wrecker *****
turning my mind into useless dust
like a disease of doom and dread
how do I get back to being me ....
         ....after those words that I never should have said !
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