I stare at an empty ceiling
because I gave him mine with the stars

losing grip in this relationship
we've covered a lot of ground for a pair that lacks traction
heat, sure, we're made of nothing but friction

To close my eyes
Is to accept my fate
So I lie

with great writing anything is possible
and sometimes we have to write that disorganized poem
to get our thoughts out
we write not to please you
to be judged by your biased eyes
but to cure us of our troubles
in the best way we know how
and to me every line is perfect
every syllable, word, and sound
I write not for your benefit
but entirely for mine

i wonder if i run my fingers through my hair one more time if it will all fall out
I worry, will it be caused by stress or the aftermath of its effects?
turn my head
watch me crane my neck
self conscious nape tugs
my attention is nudged
don't stop
don't drop anything
roll forward like a steam engine
my head is spiraling off track
down the nerves of my spinal cord
prioritize high priorities
of a thousand column long list of
number one importance
to progress does not mean progress
alas, I digress

I have reached the edge
phantom burdens hover beneath my feet
providing the extra weight
to keep me grounded
I run out of track
ultimately leading to my demise
I'd like to think I would have continued
slowly trekking upward
a singular course
I need not get off
but I turn
and take the scenic ride
floating down over the distance once covered
a changing season may bear differing results

A child took a pair of crinkle scissors
to the construction paper horizon
and thus, formed the mountains
that jut out of the earth's crust

If I took down the moments around me
in words or with fists
challengers would no doubt arise

if I could inject this feeling into my veins
rather than half-hearted attempts made in vain

waiting for its grip to take hold
on the other end of the phone

instead the buzzing silence
he asks me to hold

hold on, waiting
he hung up

I'm hung up

sweet things always hold out
but salty things will always do
that's why I liked popcorn
until they made kettle corn
now how can I possibly choose?

the sun erupted from the skyline
spat sunbeams into the valley

and scorched trees with amber, auburn, alloy orange
a grounded autumn rainbow

quiet fog exhaled over a placid lake
and bordered the wall of an angry tree line

crinkled leaves floated downward leaving branches
bare as dead limbs outstretched in praise

mountain spine laid in jagged ribbons
once ****** from Earth’s chiseled core

cut into the horizon’s curvature
larger than life, and twice as wide

cursing passerby on my journey
the room smelled of smoke
wisps circle tightly quartered soldiers
exhaustion coats the air
My perceptions adjust to the dreary film
observing heavy bodies accompanied with longing
pointed ambition devoid of thoughts
wooden floorboards shift to accomodate the change
I tilt the cube

Tell it to me straight
She whispered
Because a soft gust in a heat advisory
Won’t set ships a sail
And if canvas
Hangs
Let go the anchor
and swim like hell back to shore

We still aren't talking
And that's ok.
I don't like it
But I tried to fix things
I wonder what you now think of me
...Maybe it's best I don't know?
Maybe you don't want to be reminded
Of me
But what do you think of
When you play the CD I gave you for your birthday?
I wonder
Did you throw it out?
I doubt that
You loved it
You even told me so
Now I guess I have no choice left
But to believe I venture into your mind when you drive, with music playing loud
So yeah, we aren't talking
But that's ok

No name, no face
mysterious love story, telling trace
If a girl before me
Felt safe to confide
I love Thomas Le Fuere
an open expression tried
Graphite scribbled feeling
on my popcorn ceiling
The kind of company to keep
Sharing with no one a secret so deep
Did it last? To death do they part?
A love to grow, myself aware
She’ll never know
Unintentionally I found her heart
Maybe I’ll leave my own
gut wrenching confession thrown
among the stars next to hers

Let's take on the world
I'm tired of feeling sorry
I'm not anymore

its you, its you
its always you
why can't it ever be something else?
someone else
anything
everything
but you
always
and for never

He told me point blank:
"Oh, I'm not just anyone"
Stupid. I listened

The last little bit of a latte is just straight syrup. It’s sickeningly sweet, and yet, it’s my favorite part.

Turbulent cumulus find a free form
Mostly my mood, clarity mist
And match your atmosphere
To the internal ecosystem within
The most magical thing
A natural world has to offer

A paradox of choice
I feel inspired, if not lost to total isolation
moments spent wandering overcome those of wondering
I'm only me eight hours to the day
my options dwindle as accomplishments grow

roofless, riding
open air
skirts float up, same with hair
silver rolling dollar sign
loving legs
tanned and crossed

I once kept a cage for my words
they were living things
now I spit them out
like lofty paper airplanes
thoughts amok
flung aimlessly into drywall
inanimate anticipation
sputter and flicker

a year out, guileless
I now resume, wait, resume?
fear not, I'll add it

I took a knife and cut out
Every part I didn't like
But
What I had left
Was no longer me

I saw a lonely daffodil
Growing just across the street
I climbed an oak high until
The sky changed into ground below

I'm not one for words
and yet, your words are wanted
Actions are louder.

sleep is for the week
a fortnight is never strong
in fact its too weak

the distance grew
caused me to stop writing to you
and start writing about you
God forbid a day I ever write for you

I've got dead lines
thoughts that scare me half to death
lined with silver
strange to think that I'll be dead
lined with the years wrinkling my face and skin

I think that you're oblivious
clueless to life and reality
It's not really a bad thing
but I think that I am jealous

You stride through doors--
Confident, a simile high in place
but I can't seem to feel that way
and believe me I have tried

We are part of different lifestyles
born of different worlds
and I think yours is better
than this place I call my own

Depression.
Love.
Death.

Depression loves death.
Love depresses death.
But death can never depress love.

live through revenge
not an innocent to blame
everyone loves a victim
a pathological liar
without ever opening their mouth
everyone loves a criminal
on the television
never beyond it
everyone loves an underdog
with possibilities of hope
restoring faith unto humanity


Oh, everyone loves me
*but it wasn't worth it

how dare you have the audacity
to ***** me twice over
I am a mountain
don't you dare go around
I stand firm in my decisions
refuse your movements, I don't conform
Once, I lacked the mental capacity for understanding rivers
who flood their own courses
and carve into stone mounts
Predictability. single directions?
never
but to divulge a new creek is all but second nature

He is the light
who loves me through rainbows
and I am the rain

I’d poison my own heart
If only to see you smile
while watching it happen

you turn pain into love
it hurts me now
safe within your strength
I find my peace
to know that you are with me
propels my steps
a candlestick aflame
and then I see your work
a constant
within the lives
of every point of contact
the sunbeams shine
a vessel for your kingdom
she shows me how
I've never known a child
who follows so well
obedience, my reminder
for your glory I see her thrive
an overlooked example
how its not enough to survive