i was told i could be anything,
so i chose to be a feminist
because
when i suggested my father help with the laundry,
my mother told me i was crazy.
because
meghan tranior's "all about that bass"
is telling bigger girls to be comfortable in their own skin
because skinny girls already do, right?
because
i'd like to make as much as my male coworkers.
because
i was laughed at for wanting to be a doctor instead of a housewife.
because
people look at me strange when i say i don't want kids.
because
when i gave a speech about feminism in my english class,
i was called a man-hater.
because
"my shoulders distract the boy's education".
because
my mom shouldn't have to worry
about what goes in my drink at concerts.

i will be a feminist until
i can tell my boyfriend
"no babe, i'd rather watch the movie"
and i am not told
"you're depriving him of his needs".
until
my body is my body.
until
i no longer have to carry pepper spray on a keychain.
until
women in foreign countries can vote and drive.
until
woman means human.
until
we understand **** culture
and feminism isn't just about women,
it's about humans.

Do not plan or plot
happiness.
Plant your roots deep
dig in to fertile soil,
send out words and deeds
of truth.
Then
enjoy
what comes back to you

How would it affect your life
If someone said to you
You aren't good enough to succeed
At the thing you most want to do

Would you not let it get to you
And push forward to your goal
Not letting them have the satisfaction
Of having any form of control

Would it fuel you like a flame
And give you the drive to succeed
Working harder to prove them wrong
And having extra reason to proceed

Or would their words be like a dagger
And cut you to your core
And cause your mind to feel
Like its in the middle of a war

'Cause that's what your words did
They caused a battle in my brain
Continue to work towards nothing?
Or quickly abandon that train?

Part of me felt like six years of work
Should just be thrown away
I no longer had the confidence
To move forward in any way

But I knew I wouldn't be happy
If I chased any other dream
So I felt like I couldn't win
Life was a constant battle upstream

A year is how long it took
To repair what you destroyed
To put back pieces of myself
And remember what I once enjoyed

But now I'm ready to move on
And pursue the things I love
As for all your hurtful words...
I'm ready to rise above

I'm surrounded by a sea of people
As far as the eye can see
All flowing in the same direction
And just floating along, is me

I've been wading in this water
Letting it carry me any way
Not caring about which direction
And never having any say

After wading all this time though
My legs started growing tired
So finally it was time to choose
Which direction I desired

But the problem with floating along
Was that I never became aware
I wasn't really a part of the waves
I was just sort of...there

What I wanted didn't matter
The waves still moved as one
Whether I moved with or against them
Didn't matter in the long run

Then I thought I better get out
And give myself some time to think
But I couldn't see the shore anymore
And with that, I started to sink

Now I'm surrounded by a sea of people
As far as the eye can see
All still flowing in the same direction
But drowning in it, is me

As everyone else talks and laughs
I watch quietly from afar
It seems so natural for everyone else
But for me just feels bizarre

My generation is so obsessed
With things I just don't get
They grind, they kiss, they 'get a room'
With people they've just met

I watch it happen again and again
My friends all want to 'score'
But for me that wild party life
Is nothing but a bore

I'd rather be playing a card game
Than raving at some club
And I'd much prefer an exciting book
Than drinking at some pub

So maybe I'm a bit different...
I'm an ace you just can't play
I spend some 'boring' times alone
But....honestly, that's okay

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

You answered just a little too fast.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing I've missed you.
It surprised me.
The last time I saw you,
And the time before that,
You were intoxicated.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing what you are to me.
It surprised me.
You are a dress without hems or seams.
I hardly know you but you are beautiful.
You are the bullet in the rotating cylinder of the gun to my head.
You dig through my skull and explode my amygdala.
And force me to love you.
You are the jam in the barrel as I pull the trigger.
I fell to the ground in realization:
You both killed me and saved me.
It surprised me.

The problem, I realize,
Is that the way
I protect myself
From the innermost pain
Is the same way
I protect myself
From the innermost pleasure.