We were laughing and smiling and joking around
I saw something snap
like a twig in your mind
I thought you were kidding
when you called me a *****
so I jokingly told you
to go **** yourself
before i could move
your fist collided with my temple
my face hit the dresser
before i hit the floor
I screamed what the **** is wrong with you
and you landed another punch
this time to my lip making
crimson flow from two places
my eyebrow and my lip
a bruise formed around my eye as i started to cry
i should of left then
before you started begged for forgiveness

I saw you today
I haven't seen your face in seven months
I thought i was over you
But I guess I'm not
Seeing your face
My chest started aching
My voice was shaking
My hands trembling
My hole body froze
So i called her
Hoping she could stop the tears
But it didn't work
I wouldn't let him see the tears
i kept my head down
as i ordered my drink
How could i stop my heart from breaking
again
After all this time
Why do i still feel empty
Why does it hurt still when i see you?
Why do i miss you
When all you did was abuse me

When the snow melts
and the weather gets warmer
Only then can my true happiness can come
The long days full of
sweat
Dirt
Mud
Even after i come home for the night
I will still find pieces of hay in my hair and my clothes
Putting days worth of training
In hopes it will pay off
when the weekends come
And i can go to the shows
And may i find myself emotionally unstable i can find my way to the stables
i will find my happiness
in somthing so dangerous
with a mind of its own
but have total faith
that it'll do me no harm
even on the sourest days
i can find the sweetest escape
a hand full of mane
running free out in a feild
no saddle or bridal to keep us trapped
just our souls
dancing in the wind

Its been so long now but you still have your roots berried  in my heart crushing my lungs my hands raw from trying to pull your roots out so i can breath my heart is sore from trying to yank them out i only made it worse for my self now in pain suffocating

I drank this summer away to forgot about you it only made it worse because how could I forget someone who had grown inside my chest who left scars welts bruises and busted lips upon my fragile body so i drank to become numb and it worked

Now i see you around town it still hurts like the roots have grown deeper and get yanked as they grow tight around my lungs leaving me gasping for air

Now i have him he cant find a place in my chest which is now a jungle of your trees

The nights i cant sleep
Because the marks you left
Still sting
Still throb
The bruises you left shine in the moonlight
The welts on my arms still swollen
The nights i cant sleep
Are for remembering
How i loved you even when you left marks on my body

To my Friend
who has helped me battle my demons
more then i can count
now your left with yours
and i cant try to help
Zack
why is it you feel the way i do?
is it the feeling of not belonging?
or is it that everyone is so cold to you?
is it that no one understands how your feeling?
Zack
i don't want you to be like me
crying alone every night with the blade in your hand
feeling frighten every time it gets warm
Zack
i know the feelings you feel so very well
please don't be scared
to reach out to me for help
you've  saved me when i thought no one else gave a rats ***
i miss our hours of Skype calls
our silly talks
so Zack my dear please
don't give up hope