Say nothing but good of the dead
As they were once your friends,
Or enemies, it doesn't matter.
In death lies no dishonor.

Say nothing but good of the dead
As they were once fellow workers,
Or leaders, it doesn't matter.
In death lies no classes.

Say nothing but good of the dead
As they were once our slaves,
Or masters, it doesn't matter.
In death lies no races.

Say nothing but good of the dead
Because they were once living people,
People like you and me.
In death they are beloved.

De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum

I know she hurt you.
She took all your love and then she left. And now, here I am, ready to pick up the pieces. Even when the pieces of myself are still untouched, still sting by the one who hurt me. I know about the nights you cry yourself to sleep, tell me it’ll pass soon. I know how it hurts. Because I’ve been there. I’ve hurt like you have. I want to hold you in the most innocent, yet intimate way. And let my endless love seep through me and into you, to dry your tears, steal your sadness. I want you to smile at me the way you smiled at her. I want you to feel my love. I want you to know of my love. But how can I say what it is that I feel, when you are the thunder before the storm and I am the puddle after? When I am not worthy of your sunshine? How then, can you love the girl, who cannot truly trust her own love?

I didn't know that anyone understood my pain
I wasn't aware that I had friend out there
Going through something similar, if not a situation the exact same
Here I am sitting on my bed with a gun at my head
Thinking that no one understands
Yet she was there, trying to grab my hand
Trying to make me think twice about ending my life
“You do not break GOD made you better than that”
My body was numb. My heart was black.
I wasn't trying to stop
I was content on pulling that trigger
You know, trying to finally hear that, Pop!!

Five................................
I love you mom. I know you'll be sad but I tried...

Four................................
I love you dad. Don't be sad, now I wont get on your nerves anymore.

Three..............................
I love you sister. Go out there. Live you life... and just like they say..Don t be like me.

Two.................................
I love you brother...Only 5 amazing years with you

One..................................
I'm nervous. Once I pull this trigger, my brain will explode..It will all be done

Chest pounding..Sweat dripping down my nose..
I start to remember what she said to me...
“Just **** yourself you stupid ***!”
My palms are sweaty
The metal starts to slip
Thinking to myself...
'Just do it already!!'
Procrastination...I'm already a minute late.
I was supposed to dead by now..
Yet, for some reason, I feel like I need to wait.
Her words are coming back
'You do not break GOD made you better than that'
Are you sure?? How do know that for a fact?
God didn't watch you get beaten for absolutely nothing
He didn't hear your screams that were oh, so silent
I know what you're thinking..
'He cant hear you if you don't make a sound'
True, but if I had of been louder, I would've been permanently silenced
God didn't watch you cover up purple spots on your chest
God didn't put your stomach through a punching bag test
Did God help you scrub the blood stained spot off your shirt?
Did God pick you up and kiss your “boo-boo”when you got hurt?
Tears stream down my face as the memory fades
Gun in my hand...4 more minutes passed. 5 minutes pass my due date
I'm shaking. I'm scared
'Is this the right thing to do? Is this fair???'
I drop the gun...I realize its not going to be any fun
“You do not break GOD made you better than that”
I want to stand up for myself
And use the bone in my back
I AM strong
I AM brave
You were very very wrong
**And I refuse to let you **** me today.

Too much heart
Not enough strength
Not enough dreams, too.
I swear with every breath I take
I will make it through.

Sometimes life is not what it seems
Sometimes it's all unseen.
Sometimes it's all fun and games,
Sometimes hearts beat loudly.
Sometimes eyes shine,
Sometimes a smile brings across
The darkness in the morn.
Sometimes a tearful lullaby
Is all you need to mourn.