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4.6k · Jun 2012
Cry
Kay Meraz Jun 2012
Cry
i tell my mother

"one day they will come around, one day they'll understand your struggles"

but she cries still.

and i cry.

i tell my father

"this is your chance to be the dad, you never were"

but he forgets.

and they call me and they cry

and i cry.

i tell my brother,

"she is your mother no matter what"

but he forgets,

and she cries.

and i cry.

i tell my sister,

"dont be afraid of being a single mother"

but she stays,

and she cries.

and i cry.

i tell my little brother,

"theres more to life than a girl"

but he gets another, and another.

and he cries.

and i cry.

and when i need those three words to keep me from dying,

they forget.

and i cry.
2.1k · Sep 2012
An Ode To Watts.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
People lock their doors driving through my pretty pretty city.
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
Dogs are the kings in my pretty pretty city.
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
Harlots bargain with panderers in my pretty pretty city.
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
Felons avoid the police by hiding in schools, in my pretty pretty city.
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
Eye contact is discouraged, in my pretty pretty city.
in my city, my pretty pretty city,
Walking alone can be the biggest mistake you ever made, in my pretty pretty city.
Oh-
but in my city, my pretty pretty city,
the sea sends you salty, sandy kisses, in my pretty pretty city.
Oh-
and in my city, my pretty pretty city,
the railroad tracks take you to Zion from my pretty pretty city.
Oh-
in my city, my pretty pretty city
i have left behind my blood and promises to return.
Oh-
my city, in my pretty pretty city,
hearts break, while others mend,
tears fall, while smiles are conceived,
hate roams, while lovers love,
fear attacks, while fortitude prevails,
Oh-
my city, my pretty pretty city,
that's where i belong.
33°56′30″N 118°14′30″W coordinates to my heart.
Kay Meraz May 2014
they were the different kind.

every time I saw one, i wanted to see how it felt like... to be lust.

how did it feel when he pressed his hands against my chest?

was is different?
or
did it make you feel worse?      
It was almost always, the latter.

Still I wandered off in my mind, and i let it take me places,  
that would make you question my sanity.

was it real when the warmth of his lips thawed my cold heart?

It got exhausting, for my mind only went so far.
I forgot why.
and.
I'm sorry,
what was the
question again?
F.R.S inspired me.
1.4k · Sep 2012
miles away.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
laying down,
i felt the calidity between my thighs.
my hands portrayed Yours,
fingers linger around black lace.
Wanted Your lips to hit the brink of mine,
but my hunger was left unsatisfied.
i thought of You, silly of me.
imagination
took
me
to
the
summit.
that was all, in the Utopia i moved You in,
where i can feel Your strokes from miles away.
Interpol made me do it.
1.4k · Sep 2012
you're beautiful.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
why am I unfulfilled?
have I not enough?
why am I this way now, and not the way he found me?
I have his attention, his compassion, i have everything,
yet,
                                I find myself with                                
                                                    wandering
  ­                                                                 ­                                              eyes.
he loves my body,
   my smile,
   my mind,
more than I love myself.
why is it that when I see myself in the mirror,
all I see is
   disappointment?
where is this gorgeous woman he speaks of?
i never see her.
   but he's right you know,
he knows he's right,
     you know I know he's right
when he says:
"the second another man tells you,
You're Beautiful,
you'll believe him"
and I do.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
Misunderstood, even by the ones closest to her.
The pain I see in her eyes,
I'll never apprehend.
Everyday struggles overpower
the smile she forces herself to wear.
The song in her core
yearns to be heard,
but remains reticent.
Her courage to take on the next day
with the weight of the world on her back,
and a glimmer of HOPE,
animates my broken heart.
about my cousin, who struggles everyday, but always keeps a beautiful smile on her face, and remains positive for the rest of us.
1.3k · May 2014
Don't ever fall asleep.
Kay Meraz May 2014
he layed there, another night,
alone again.
"you're intriguing, I want to taste your mind"
I listened to him;
from far away I could see him.    
that pale face, so serious with those gentle eyes.
I wanted to see myself in those eyes, and to feel like he was only looking at me.
it was dangerous.
           it was selfish.
it was wrong.          
but **** why did it feel so fucken               good?        
and i said to him-
"I'm poison, the world just doesn't know, **** I don't even know how poisonous I am-
come try me."
F.R.S. Inspiration.
1.2k · Sep 2012
unfinished
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
i walked into the classroom,
you were checking in,
i noticed you, right away.
i liked you,
though i had never seen you before.
i wanted to know you,
your secrets,
your needs,
your fetishes,
your past,
your ominous future with out me.
In one hour i felt your energy around mine,
then you got up and left,
left my sight,
left my mind,
left your scent,
left your soul in that room with me.
something i wrote down, but haven'finished
1.2k · Feb 2013
strangers and drugs
Kay Meraz Feb 2013
I want so much to not want you.
It's safe to say I'm addicted to you.
A stranger, that I need to withdraw from.
But I'm a ****** and I need my fix.
You're in short supply, I try the other drugs and baby they don't gimme the rush you do.
I wake up wanting a hit, go to bed with the sweats.
I lean my head back and drink you, and feel you going down my throat, with tears in my eyes.
Lay back down, high as ******* you.
1.2k · Sep 2012
you don't read my art.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
why wont you read my art?
it's not always about you, is that why?
you know i'm some-what worthy,
yet you don't read my art?
all the letters I've wrote to you,
                                                    all of
                                                                ­   them like
                                                            ­                         this
you nod, sneer, and you ignore my art.
AH but-
to ignore my art, is to ignore my heart.

are you afraid to look into my past,
my lusts, my introspection? is that why you don't read my art?
but if it were a painting would you ignore my art then?

is it that
MY
       WORDS
                       ARE
                                 TOO
                                         BIG
                                                       FOR
                                                                ­YOU?

*but i can write really
little
if that'll make you read my art.
1.0k · Jun 2012
I also had a dream.
Kay Meraz Jun 2012
waking up, hating that i had woken up.
going on, and on
                                   about how unfair my life was.
i'd gotten used to second guessing myself.
                                  These were my thoughts,
                                  during sunshine, and during darkness.
This was my life.

Driving down the interstate.
                                      Going 70, on the icy 94.
                                      About an inch of fluffy snow,
Oh how they love it.

Adrenaline pumping the blood in my veins.
                                   A shout, here and there.
                                    Shifting side to side.
Eyes opened wide.


But could this be?, how can it be?,
                                     Had I yelled so much I forgot
                                     To listen to the road calling me?
Was this light post the last thing I'd see?

"Is this how it is to be dead?"
                                     I dont know who I was asking.
                                     With the feel of fretfulness coming over me.
"I dont know what to do now".

"Please God!, I'm Sorry!, I'm just So Sorry!,
                                     but I cant die!, I cant leave my daughter alone,
                                      In this cruel World"
But no one responded.

"Please dont leave me alone with my thoughts"
                                         I pleaded over and over and over.
                                         That never ending feeling of despair,
Made me realize...

That-
            was
                     my
                           Hell.
950 · Sep 2012
in our eyes.
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
in your eyes,
you quench my thirst.
in my eyes,
i lay you fiercely.
in our eyes,
we await copulation placidly.
but the walls can see
the cryptic message,
of the iniquity we are to take part in,
and in our eyes we
accept the forfeit.
813 · Nov 2012
for ever
Kay Meraz Nov 2012
6 years killing me softly,
With every breath you take,
into my ear.
Whispering sweet nothings,
Just to watch me melt for you.

Hold me close
For my heart races,
And my legs quiver,  
Then we hold on to each others faces.

And in this very moment,
This moment in time, which feels like
God has slowed down just for our blissful pleasure,
I open my eyes, to make sure this isn't another one of those dreams,
Where you leave me behind in white.

You turn me around,
kiss my shoulders,
Run your fingers through my hair,
While the other hand is holding mine,

And you ask me,
will you love me like this for ever?

As I went down,
I looked up at you and said,
*"Let me love you like this today, nobody's promised for ever"
724 · Sep 2012
not there. (10w)
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
wet** morning,
i turn to you,
and you're not there.
722 · Sep 2012
faded memory. (10W)
Kay Meraz Sep 2012
One day,
This will
All be
But a
Faded memory.
I was in Chicago, and i was hoping the feeling would last.

— The End —