Kaiden

Kaiden Apr 3

The punishment,
Mental torture turning into thin red lines.
There's no one to punish me anymore,
So who should?
I look around
And see
Me.

I feel like after some time self harm became a way i used to punish myself. As expected, it turned into an addiction and an unhealthy attachment to pain itself, i've been working on it with my therapist but i'm getting way too ******* tired.

#punishment #sh

Apr 3

Lyle

footsteps

some people's footsteps are loud
they want everyone to know that they have entered
or perhaps they have no reason to hide
They strike the ground first with their heel
you can always hear them approach

but mine?
my footsteps are silent
I glide across without a sound
no one needs to know that I am here
I have reason to hide
I tread first with the pads of my feet
you will never hear me approach

Apr 3

Skyler M

As I Love You

You love him as I love you,
You hurt as I was hurt too,
You move on as I lay inert,
Apologies if I seem curt.

Really, what else could I want?
Gave us everything we wanted,
Still I remain just as haunted,
Feels like a self-inflicted taunt.

You love him as I love you,
You hurt as I was hurt too,
You move on as I lay inert,
Apologies if I seem curt.

Even so- with a white whale,
I hate to leave it incomplete,
Face meet the street, eat concrete,
It’s only right I don’t bite- just exhale.

Searched the turquoise in between,
Wispy cirrus clouds of tender gold,
Filter light through a sentient fold,
It’s all sublime, simply serene.

You love him as I love you,
You hurt as I was hurt too,
You move on as I lay inert,
Apologies if I seem curt.

#family

Kaiden Apr 3

Living on autopilot

I know that i'm here,
What i do or say,
But i don't know how or why.

I see through my eyes,
But as a completely different person,
Often not controlling myself.
Almost like living on autopilot.

Please tell me im just not ****** up and this thing actually exists/is somewhat normal cuz it's been happening to me for the past year and i have no idea what to do about it or what it even is, it's kinda freaking me out.

Kaiden Apr 3

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.
For being a failure,
Not helping you enough,
Not knowing when i should help you.
I'm sorry for the things i said,
Did,
For what i put you through.
I'm sorry
For being sorry.

This one is honestly to like 6 or more people, i'm not exactly sure why i wrote it but still decided to do so.

#sorry

Kaiden Apr 3

Poetic?

"Quite poetic, isn't it?"

"Everything is poetic."

A real conversation i had with someone, and a sentence i say a lot. Technically, everything is poetic.

#poetic #poetry

Kaiden Apr 3

Hurting you

Sometimes i wonder:
Do bullies hurt too?
I hurt a person,
And immediately knew
That it feels worse than to be hurt,
Yet they do it anyway
With all of those mean words
They have to say.
One selfish act,
A comment or two,
But they never felt worse
Than hurting you.

I accidentally hurt my best friend yesterday. He had a really bad day, i didn't know about it, i and this one person made a comment about him in our discord server, not really knowing that it would hurt him. I apologized but he didn't respond yet. (also, if you can read this somehow, i'm really ******* sorry)

#hurt #him