a moth feels
gravity for the flame
as it navigates the
darkest of nights
hunting for flowers
from which to sip
nocturnal ambrosia

and as the flame
chars gossamer wings
and its body
becomes one
with the universal
flame of love
the moth knows
that it never
had a choice

as i sit in your
alluring presence
i feel the pull
and understand the
gravity of the flame

the rhythm, melody and lyrics
of my ancestral birthright
echo through the emptiness

the old songs resonate as
a choir of blood sings
vibrating the threads
that are woven into the tapestry
of all that i am by the lives of
my mothers and fathers
connecting me to them
with an untearable fabric

and as my thread
weaves in and out
i appear, disappear and reappear
travelling through family cloth
on the songs of those
that have gone before

and i fear none
as we all sing our song
to the tempo of the sands of time
as they fall into the future

in the end,
hopefully
it seems that all
was for nothing.
that means that
our goal
has been met.
as a family of humans,
around the whole world,
we came together
and kept
our distance.
in doing so
we defeated an
invisible enemy.
together.

to find a glimmer of light
in this sea of
blackened thoughts
is like trying to find a torch
that is the treasure marked
with an X on a foreign map
written in an unknown tongue
in the middle of the thick darkness
known by subterranean dwellers

think happy thoughts
they say
keep a journal of gratitude
they say
focus on the positive
they say

they
have never experienced
the depth of hopelessness
found at the height of despair

the stress
of this thing
is heavy like a  
weighted blanket
casting blue shadows
across crispy kindling-dry
landscapes of the world's future
with a grey thunderhead towering
to the invisible foothills of olympus
miniaturizing all i've ever been
and all i could ever hope to be
while gut-churning claps of
deafening news follow the
terror-bright disease;
luminous arteries
that reach down
from heaven
to char the
earth

long ago my dreams were forged
from molten sands of time
shining stained glass
intricate lacework mosaics
fit for a cathedral
then shattered
scattered
and lost
throughout the endless
heaven of your heart
by the thought
of your
love

how am i supposed to

keep the house clean
while
doing my office job from home
while
home schooling my three kids
while
distancing myself from everyone
while
being so stressed about coronavirus
that
it feels like i've done a week's work
by tuesday

and

how do i do it all
without paper towels

i am tired

but i am still healthy

plague slop flows
along the curb
chamber *** disgrace

looking down
at blue hands
fingers interlaced

begging prayer
hopeless words
escaping frailty's lips

aching bones
crushing head
****** pressure slips

deadened ears
blackened heart
lungs full of foul air

feel the chill
damp and still
glazed and vacant stare

dreadful round
of recurrence
weary of the pain

when it ends
it begins
all over once again

while we wait for the world to end
she has helped another begin
as we look to the sky for signs
she sees only the stars in our eyes

nazareth walks in every heart
pilate is poised in every mind

we forgot who we are long ago
leaving all else out in the cold
how deep the roots have ingrown
but we know we must own that we're known

the frightful night is ending
the dead fall back to sleep
their twisted faces holding
all the secrets that i keep

the dawning hour is near
the quickened feel its call
with brilliant minds unfolding
and deciphering the scrawl

of all the the fools gone past
that warned us of the terrors
that lurk beneath the surface
turning dreams into nightmares

for now i watch the clouds
the clouds of my demise
the things that i hate most
are my own honest lies

it's time to drop the curtain
on this round of suffering
it's time to open inward
and praise the holy queen

as she regains the throne
the empty throne of peace
and begins to bury hatred
inviting all into the feast

how long she'll reign is known
by sand and hour-shaped glass
and when the clock strikes nothing
you'll know she was typecast

the court is ever filled
with coyotes and dark clowns
the truer truth abandoned
and hidden from the hounds

the dreadful night is falling
the dead begin to wake
their twisting faces turning
toward our new heartache

she never forgets
and never forgives
the flick of her eye will destroy
the lump of coal heart
that combusts in her soul
is fanned by the unresting wind

she flies to me swiftly
on a cold thought
no concern or remorse in her wake
the gods cannot hear
and will never accept
the unerring advice that she gives

she is borne on the breeze
and never looks back
truth's sword falls broken behind
her will and desire
ride blossoming wheels
that burn in the sky of my mind

the hole in her heart
will never be filled
and if it was it would implode again
a goddess like she
can never find peace
such is the way of the wind

let princes of peace
and warring warriors
hear her name and never forget
their unholy birth
or their place in heaven
while the moon grinds the stars to fine dust

the silver side of the cloud
floats on the far side
remembering not the price it paid

the glory days are far behind
night life stretches out ahead
the path is felt not being seen

the witness ran away
the judge's mind is blind
the jury is ripe with enemies

and yet

there is a home for you
in my stillborn heart
submerged in the warmest blood

and deep inside
the king of dust
wishes all he knew
was covered and ******
into a forgotten land
of stone and rust

and the queen
she plays along

and the king
he knows he must
wallow and wail
in the tenement halls of lust
he cannot be left alone
with his lack of trust

and the queen
she sings his song

his humanity dwindled
when he called himself just
in the face of all
that will combust
and the pressure
of the thickening dust

and the queen
she suffers long

but the queen
has been done wrong

there's a loathing inside
that i'm loath to admit
but as much as i hate it
i'd be remiss
to ignore and abhor
a piece of myself
until it screams out
in selfish affection
demanding attention
or at least an admission
of that part of me
that's in darkened remission
until the ripe time
it breaks free at last
destroying myself
and all in my path

i sit in my red-brown chair
my favorite old leather chair
the one with the big brass tacks
and while looking out the window
at the snowy mountain that rises
from the ancient sandy seabed
of the blue-green valley floor
i come to the understanding that
there are bottomless holes
in my heart and soul
that can only be filled by the
golden-orange sunset clouds
as they drift in complimentary contrast
with the wide violet-blue skies

and as the heavenly color fades
i feel a piece of me cry out
fearful of the imminent
blue-black night

unfettered depths this ocean mind
****** by clouds and vaulted skies
the broken promise lies beneath
a thickened heap of ugly truth

the cold and unforgiving chide
the beautifully over blessed
they look to god as if to claim
their place among the best

the king of kings the emperor
has left the throne vacant
the driver's seat is purple stitched
and available for rent

but to occupy that lofty place
comes with the heavy price
of self deception corruption
and adoption of the vice

unwillingly it brought me here
then turned around and ran
and left me here beside myself
without a map or travel plan

to stand beneath a sunlit
flowering cherry
is to stand in the
presence of
god

i carry many telltale scars
but the deepest of them all
lies at my dead center
a permanent reminder of
the lost connection with
my mother

in my eyes there's a hope
a hope that floats on a sea
a sea of possibility

and as i swim through this world
this world full of wonder and horror
bathed in the wonder i felt as a child
while chasing the hope of the unkown
and the horror of the unknown
of this premordial sea on which i float
of how so much depends on me

i see that the unknown is all that is known

i float alone on the unknown
and it haunts me
it excites me
this sea of potentiality
that utterly surrounds me
and i float on alone

alone

afraid

and in love

in love with the unknown
in love with the hope
the hope that the unknown

is love

the clouds sing in hushed tones
reverence for refracting
rainbow drops of light
when all is poetry

the river whispers praise
rounds the bend and pools
in silent blue-green depth
when all is poetry

the tree creaks quietly
jealous of the rushing wind's
uprooted flowing freedom
when all is poetry

the snowfall mutely patters
piling high as if to save itself
for approaching warmer days
when all is poetry

even death's fearful staring gaze
with its toothy jagged grin
somehow loses power
when all is poetry

and the miles of shattered dreams
are ground to glimmering dust
and sprinkled on broken hearts
when all is poetry

the world's many melodies
both dissonant and pure
make us what we are
when all is poetry

it's the shadow that indicates depth
it's the silence between the chords
it's the rest between the long days
it's the quiet that separates words

it is space allowing for growth
it's the emptiness that can be filled
it's the void that creates the world
it must be vacant before we can build

it is sad times that bring on the good
it's the sour that makes sense of sweet
it is cold that makes me crave warmth
it is hunger that makes food a treat

it's when i'm gone that i love my home
it's the down that makes the up high
it was god that made lucifer
it is death that makes life alive

it always starts this way
the broken butterfly wing
and fly though that it may
it's circling to the left

my stomach not in knots
if anything i feel sane
but underneath my thoughts
i'm circling to the left

the wolf will never go
its clothing never shed
the sheep will never know
while circling to the left

the fragile i have snapped
alone they break so easy
with long tongue they are lapped
but circling to the left

and to the left they move
following their tales
rough but sound so smooth
if circling to the left

the end they'll never know
they won't make it that far
they reap what i did sow
when circling to the left

the circle's magic feat
the end is overtaken
the whole is made complete
by circling to the left

The road begins at my door.
A quick right, then left, just one
and on for seven miles. Seven.
It's seven miles till I get there and the sun,
the sun's still shining bright. So bright.
The kind of bright that hurts. It hurts
my head. Makes it ache. And as I reach
your place, that dull ache reminds me.
Reminds me
you aren't home.

I sit behind the wheel and watch.
I watch the sun drop. It drops.
It drops like you did, expected, but
too soon, too quick. So quick,
my aching head spins.
My aching, spinning head.
For a minute, a quick minute,
I forget. I forget that
you aren't home.

It's like it was back then, at least for
just a minute. My spinning gets me
spinning, thinking I might see, I
might see your smile,
that smile that tells me, it
tells me that I'm not alone.
But I am alone. Alone. Alone
because you're gone. But I forget,
I forget that you are gone,
for a minute I forget that
you aren't home.

I remember. My head drops to
the wheel when I remember.
I remember with an ache. The ache.
The hollow in my chest. The tears
try to escape, but I don't let them.
I look at your door. Your door is swimming.
Your door is swimming in my tears.
The tears that I won't let fall
from my eyes. My eyes.
My eyes ache for you. For your smile.
Your beautiful smile. But you,
you aren't home.

I turn myself around. I turn around
real quick. So quick. So quick that I
forget. I almost forget my way.
I nearly forget my way
back home. I forget the seven
miles. Seven. Those seven miles
have become, they've become eternity. Eternity. Eternity
because you, my love,
you aren't coming home.

you formed near the center
and grew faster than expected
one among the many
unassuming but perfected

and as the heat arose
all you did was grow
until you could no longer
be held down so low

and when you finally broke free
as you are so inclined
you rushed toward the surface
leaving your whole world behind

swimming through the maze
of liquid and cookware
you quickly found the surface
and disappear into the air

the lifetime of a bubble
born in a boiling ***
begins and ends so quickly
it never gets a thought

i was born
in a frail basket
on the river of souls
that unceasingly flows
from heaven to hell
and back again

riding the rapids and
swimming the pools
i float through the
valley of time
as it reveals itself amid
the eternal mountains

when this journey
is through and i reach
the deep sea
my reflection will join
the countless stars
of lifetimes past

and there i'll be free
until i descend
to do it all again
and there i'll be free
until i descend
to do it again

the way of beauty
is written in the sky
for all to read
with ink made
of sunset

the way of beauty
is recited each dawn
for all to hear
by warbling children
of the dawn's light

the way of beauty
is felt in each heart
and all can know
the shining diamond
the core of every soul

the way of beauty
the peaceful path
is open to all
surrender yourself
know who you are

sometimes a melody
sometimes silence
sometimes a mountain
sometimes a valley
sometimes the highlights
sometimes the shadow
sometimes the living
sometimes the dead
sometimes the desert
sometimes the sea
sometimes i'm you
sometimes i'm me

cross
the river
deep and wide
the gulf
of our
divide

should we
strain against
the current
or ride
the raging
torrent

life
is always
full of change
nothing ever
stays
the same

stand
on this
shore
with me
together
we'll live free

and move
mountains
to the ocean
like the channel
that is
flowing

within
the river
deep and wide
the gulf
of our
divide

obsessed with not obsessing
dressed for overdressing
caressed but not caressing
left without the lesson
speak without compassion
undress the latest fashion
a day in the life of my hero
mediocre is better than zero
better but not the best
wrestling with the rest
resting is on the wrist
trial of a tryst
miles and miles of smiles
shadows and sundials
believing without faith
waiting for the wraith
fallen without grace
place without a face

clouds and wind spring loaded grass
rolling thunder broiling crass
spoken slander breaking glass
fleeing hatred is gaining mass

life worth living lightning flash
trundle blazing accidental crash
frozen wasted rainbow smash
shattered life like counterfeit cash

blood moon night will never last
steer the ship with splintered mast
script is written drooling cast
well of souls still holding fast

the queen of sorrow all will serve
pulse beat stop the quickened nerve
just ahead see deadman's curve
all is lost with no reserve

broken halo stolen grace
battered heart and swollen face
fiction's fact nowhere place
rapture's heaven leaves no trace

roll aside
the heavy stone
that locks you in
the sepulchre
of your darkened soul

let the light
within you shine
easter morning sun
burn up the mists
of your ignorance

look in the mirror
see yourself
son of man
you are a son
of god almighty

let those around you
feel god's love
an authentic life
will clear the path
of every obstacle

know your truth
live with love
heal your sickness
shake off the death
of living without light

i stand before you
a simple man
hoping your soul will
recognize a friend

i hope you'll know
that at my heart
i have your best
i will never harm

i know you'll know
what you are
when you read
and your heart stirs

it's time to be
your very best
it's time to stand
take off the mask

it's time to free
all you have caged
it's time to pour forth
it's time to create

it's time to be free
and be your best self
it's time to lay down
worry and doubt

it's time to be all
it's time to be whole
it's time to step up
and accept yourself

arise from the ashes
arise from the dust
arise you bright phoenix
i say to myself

immortal wedding band
encircling the globe
dividing evening from twilight
and dark of night
from morning light

the ring remains unbroken
since the first kiss of the sun
tracing our home's rolling pace
in dancing color
light's embrace

and as i watch the light fade
and clouds catch heavenly fire
i know i see just half the halo
with each day's end
glow and shadow

and half a world away
a man looks to the east
and he sees the other half
and he realizes in himself
with a soulful laugh

that half a world away
a man like me looks west
and as I see my half above
he knows it's the same halo
that we both know and love

the halo never rests
it's dance never complete
and until time's timely end
around the world
it will always bend

to remind all god's creations
with flowing golden-purple hues
that they are in the loving hand
of the ultimate being
that knows each grain of sand

there has only been one day
since the creation of the world
the sun has never died
and never been reborn

the eye of the moth
irresistibly attracted
to the gravity of the
lantern's soft flame
like the soul is drawn
to the godly source

and like the separation
between spirit and god
the thinnest pane of glass
prevents the moth's rapture
frustrates nightly pilgrimage
transparent veiled prison

one night the glass cracks
falls broken to the earth
reveals flame's fiery aspect
and the heat at it's core
the moth's approach is
unimpeded by the glass

and as its wings are singed
an ecstatic cry is heard
the good fight has been fought
the race has been completed
the body is discarded
as soul and source unite

my mind still sees
with my eyes closed
fears and fantasies

my mind still speaks
with my mouth closed
judgments and critiques

my mind still feels
with my hands closed
emotions and ideals

my mind still dreams
with my eyes open
past events and schemes

my mind still churns
with my body still
what if and regret burns

my mind still dances
with my body asleep
visions and memory glances

it is the first
It is the last
unquenchable thirst

god's greatest gift

the beautiful
scraping sound
a glacier creates
as it grinds
through granite
that resonates
in million-year
wavelengths

the subtle
quivering
vibrato
gently expressed
by the breeze
as it plucks
a harp-string
spider's web

the horrible
dramatic
crescendos
of horn-shaped
funnel clouds
as they blast
knee-high
cornfields

the sublime
whispering
harmonics
heard in the
dead of night
as the world
dances
around
me

i thought i was once a bird
rising falling with the breeze

i thought i was once spider
knitting delicate death traps

i thought i was once a mouse
nocturnally gnawing secret doors

i thought i was once a bee
flower jumping bumbling expert

i thought i was once a vine
strangling hosts as i climb

i thought i was once a lion
and all did bow and cower

i thought i once lived a life
or separate lives
one after the other

i was a bird surfing wind and breeze
i was a spider crafty web spinner
i was a mouse skittering dark passages
i was a bee flying life spreader
i was a vine by nature climbing and killing
i was a lion maimed and disgraced

i thought i was once another being
or so i told myself

divinity in all
all in divinity

in yourself
see divinity

in your neighbor
see yourself

in your neighbor
see divinity

see divinity
see beauty
everywhere

love divinity
love yourself
love your neighbor
love all

stationary flow
brings
stagnant growth
causing
frozen metamorphosis

crystalline liquid
conveys
regressive expansion
birthing
rigor mortised evolution

impotent energy
deposits
deadend prosperity
delivering
impeded progression

adjourned mallard flock
madly silent flapping
v-formation missile

slippery light slicing
looking glass surface
liquid sun river

grassy hair tossing
tickling valley shoulders
loping floodplain floor

beyond river's snake
violety haze peaks
horizon's gravity tugs

page so white
it blinds the mind

peering into the void
seeing it empty so empty
too empty for thought

just start writing
something will flow
maybe write about
the inability to write

looking up
page suddenly full
ink everywhere
the void speaks again
it always does

just pick up
the pen
let it flow

just pick it up
and you will know

what needs
to be said
or rather read

someone
will read it
relate it
restate it

just grab
the pen
let it bleed

let it bleed
for you
for him
for her
for them
for us
let it bleed
altar wine
savior's blood
permanent ink

see it on your face
forming on your tongue
here we go again
your thoughts will be flung

my coiled anticipation
reaction tightly wound
my trigger tripped with words
your intention precedes sound

you vomited your language
blind to elegance
it sloshes in my ear
mood now thick and tense

do you understand
or ever stop to think
how spoken words reflect
your mind's horrendous stink

allowing it to settle
sting dulls with every second
words will not end the world
patience has been beckoned

looked up to you so long
i stumbled on your feet
didn't realize we stand
on the same street

but your status didn't fall
in fact you helped me see
in view of everything
the one i need is me

textured like
velvety memory
tickling my skull
iridescent feathered mind
wafting ideas
delicious odorous ideas
ripe with potential
inviting starved nostrils
alluding hope
delivering naught

traces of faces
and what they said
places and spaces
and paths i've tread
grace's embraces
the tears that i shed
interlaces encases
this mental homestead

flaming darkened glazier
occult window screening
words congeal behind
soupy lettuce being

fish are always swimming
against the drizzle current
of my mindstream eddy
never rested never fluent

the cousin of the e-boy
is a flower antlered deer
he is holding smelly signs for
realistic road construction

but it all was smooshed
by the banana bus split
as it sounded around the corner
of the long lost underwater

parking garage in the bay
last level and i do mean last
very lost i tend to get lost
in there so there and there

is a bat swimming in
miracle whipped sin
at the parcel post nearby
chubby beagles munching

but bugles can't be eaten
unless you try to bite and
to see the empty
but it isn't really there

is it

wait what why

crucify the king
he cares for us no more
the gifts he gives are rotten
and ****** us at the core

we'll celebrate no longer
the birth immaculate
no one can believe it
she was not celibate

fear not my merry friends
there is no need to cry
new leadership we've found
you'll see him by and by

the burden that he carries
is the sack of gifts he'll bring
while suited in the crimson
that leaked out of the king

under the cross he'll leave
for every girl and boy
a reason to be selfish
and buy into his ploy

no need for guilt or penance
it's all come to a head
no need for soul salvation
let's play a game instead

so take my hand and see
the pleasure to be had
no need for self improvement
put your trust in this year's fad

hateful floodgate opens
transgressions resurrected
impending failure thickens
all will be affected

blind to all but fault
swollen throbbing pride
withholding graceful mercy
none endure my chide

words divide asunder
biting truthful flow
searing core deep phrases
silver platter deadly blow

dust settles downward
precious love defiled
wasted vital resource
ego child beguiled