How dare you think you have the power to take your own life.
You are loved,
you are worth it.

Is there tear gas in this room?
Because I can't stop crying
The gas crawls down my esophagus
And crushes my wounded heart.

“God this hurts”

I keep typing,
Praying to computer screen
That I'll forget the smell of your hair
I type till my fingers bleed
So I can forget what your touch feels like
How our lips fit perfectly together.

“God I hate myself”

The only phrase I think of
When I'm pleading for things to back to normal
Back to the days
Where you didn't want to to crack open my skull
And see all of the ugly things
That drift around my cranium

“Baby please I'm sorry. I’m a mess,
A klutz, who waltzes around with stupidity
Baby I get this feeling in my head
When you are not around
I want to keep writing you these love letters
By sliding them under your doors called your eyelids”
But I can’t

I sit alone in the bus called life
Looking across my seat
I see you, my love
Holding onto the bar
Your pretty Blue headlights
That make me drawn to you
Your pretty Blue headlights
Covered with the rain I caused
I'm a rain man,
you see, when people get close to me
I get scared
And force the skies rain to tears with pain.


The only thing that floats in my mind
Is that I hope the man of you life
Buys you flowers
Sunflowers especially
And shows up to your work unexpectedly.
I hope you can travel to Paris
and keep a long list of all of the countries
you've cuddled in.
With him.
I hope you he can handle seeing the stars
From your eyes every time you guys cuddle
Under the moon light.
I hope he can teach you how to slow dance
And I hope that he can teach me
On how to be a better man.

I love you more than the world, you're that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. You've brought me genuine happiness, a feeling I haven't felt in years. And reading that this morning was the greatest thing ever, I literally started crying, and I'm still crying as I'm writing you this. I know we both have our own battles that we are fighting, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you, you've helped me so much.  I don't know how much I have helped with your battles, but I'm trying, and if I haven't gotten anywhere yet with them, I really hope that I will. I've never felt so close to someone in my life. You are everything to me, and the day that I **** up bad enough to lose you, will be the worst day of my life. I've realized that the words "I love you" had no meaning until I met you. Now I know what it's like to genuinely love, and I know what it's like to genuinely be loved. I love you baby, more than anything in the entire world