I have no one to talk to.
I have no one who knows.
I don't feel sorry for myself, but I need strength.
I fear the future, because of the past.
And I embrace the future, because I know it brings this moment to the past.
What a disgusting person I must be, because broken never looked good on anyone and pathetic is how it reads on me.
So stupid to have not realized I was in a game.
I was caught off guard and its not about losing...
Just the fact that I didn't want to play.
It's amazing the things I didn't see.
It's ridiculous, what I thought I saw.
Now there's a path before me.
I need only to prepare for the trip.
With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes I need to accept that this is good bye.
Friendship is forever in some ways, but lies taint it and sometimes there's nothing to save.
All this time, I've been alone.
I don't understand what makes it so hard to make it final.
Me being me and you being you is what I thought made us, us...
But I guess to much of anything is way to much.
And our special friendship was fun when I thought it was real.
I feel hate in my heart, but the sadness consumes it.
And my heart stings.
It's the only way that I know this is real.
I dare not be bitter.
I dare not be conquered.
But nauseous and shatterd is what I can't deny.
So I'll talk to myself not knowing if it will do any good.
Myself is all I have at the end so I might as well get used to it.
I wonder what kind of friend I'll make myself...
Will I be honest like the real me or will I try to convince myself that this is nothing?
I can already see that I'm the greatest friend a person can have, always honest, always there...
But this great friend thing...
I don't think it applies to me.
Not enjoying life right now.