Falling i’m falling

it all happened so fast

we fall out and fall in 

until the ins and outs are our past

does it last

will i crash 

do i plummet and plunder 

can i grasp what i lack 

w i t h o u t going straight under 

I wonder

and stumble 

then tumble 
and trip

i need to stand up

without losing my grip

but i slip 
when i stand 

and break what i’m holding

now my grip doesn’t fit 

and i’m left holding nothing

I found
Your heart
B e a t i n g
Under your t-shirt
So
Finders k e e p e r s
You keep me your secret
When I'm not kept easy
& it burns

I tried climbing into the mind of blind mime who told me what time it was
he told me that time flies
But to strive as a writer
Even when your writing *****
I told him alright
That I'd sit tight and write about him
He couldn't see me but he said he saw a bright light and knew it belonged to both of us

My mind is playing head games
I'm trying to calculate the waves
and in all the ways your name slays
like a delayed phrase
a constant dazed phase
you're in my veins
strapped tightly to my rib-cage
you're trying to read me like a book
but you haven't flipped my title page
you engage the rage that I hate
and that hits me like a freight train
chest bones now exposed
and my brain cannot communicate
I could try to turn you off
and in my reign you'd still illuminate

expect me to believe that i'm any different
when I know you say the same things
to all of these women
I know you use the same eyes to look right into them
I know you used the same arms to guide them through the room
and
i know i'm not a queen
but I know what I am
and trust me girl
i'm not some flag waving fan
i'm not a woman or a man
I know exactly where i stand
I hear how you speak
& I see your hands where they land
like i'm a map
& you've been everywhere but Maine
but won't Maine be the same as LA or as Spain?
if all you do is take a train and explain with different names
like this love will be different
when you don't feel the same
it's insane and it pains me
to believe what you say
when every time that we speak
you have long stories to explain
i'm not ashamed to take blame
for the confusion and i'll claim it
but don't act like i am yours
when you're wrapped up in my blankets

Pouring whiskey down my neck
like what the heck
***** you're reckless
you ain't fancy
wearing liquor like a necklace
you're suppose to be growing
you're acting so feckless
you haven't crossed one word
off that to do or that checklist
you're infectious
and not like a smile
but more like a pile
of junk
stung out
for miles and miles
it's wild to me that you pretend to defend
the fact that this woman is not just your friend
in the end I recommend you extend your arm farther
before you end up to be just like your father
it's getting harder for me to act like I'm not bothered
when i'm talking to myself here
and i'm not getting stronger
i'm alone and i'm scared
i'm not prepared to be slaughtered
with all this fighting going on
it's not making me smarter
but i'm using my weight this time
and i'm hitting much harder
i just did another shot
i guess tonight i need armor