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Aspen Apr 2019
My eyes were blind
My heart was numb
My brain did not think the right things

I tried to fly but I always fell
I tried to sing but my voice was covered
I was fed lies
Lies so that I can hold
Scissors to cut the wings
of another human being

Pretty soon I emerged out of my cocoon
The place that I thought was safe
Pretty soon I realized
That I have grown wings too
One wing pink purple and blue
Another one Black gray white and purple
Together they make the most beautiful rainbow
My identity
It is time to spread my wings and fly
It is time to lift other people up
It is time to help others spread their wings
So that they can be beautiful butterflies too
And emerge from their shells of hiding
Emerge with wings...
#out of the closet #proudly biromantic ace #lgbtq #identity
Day 2 of the month long poetry prompt challenge
Aspen Mar 2019
The day you left
Raindrops fell from the sky
Raindrops fell from my eyes
As memories flash back,
like lightening

-Later that day-
Red raindrops fell from my arms
into the water
staining the white porcelain sink

Drops
of drink
to help me forget
rained down into my mouth

My heart wept with raindrops of sadness
My soul broke and pieces fell like drops of rain
My sanity dripping away
From every inch of my body,
raindrops fell
Aspen Mar 2019
For years and years I have been the shadow to your light
Always there while you shone like the sun.

I have always tried to shine, but you shone brighter
My soft, weak, delicate voice could not overpower yours

No one saw my light
No one saw all the things I could have gave them
All cause I was your shadow

Your star of talent always out shone mine
And you all know what happens when a star can't shine
It starts to die
It became a shadow to your sun

The spotlight was always on you
And I had to put my talents on the shelf
Cause no saw
no one cared
All they saw was you and your light
...........................................................­.................................................................­

But now it is my turn to shine
It is my turn to be recognized
People will finally see me
and all the things I could have done for them

They will see what they have missed out
But I won't be coming back to them
Cause they should have seen it earlier
They should not have let me down
They should not have made me worthless
They should have given me some chances
It is your turn to become the shadow
It is your turn to sit down
It is my turn to become the sun

I refuse to hide in the shadows
I refuse to put my talents on the shelf
I refuse to be the shadow of the spotlight

I will be heard
I will not be silenced
My once weak voice will ring across the nation
And everyone will remember my name
Aspen Mar 2019
?
The sun is shining
Why don't I see light?

I am not underwater
Why am I drowning?

I draw with silver
It comes out red

Darkness is my friend
When it used to be my enemy

The world is a colorful place,
But everything is grey

Be happy, be alive
How can I be? Happy? Alive?

When all I see is grey,
when all I see is darkness,
when I only draw with silver
and my arm cries red tears

How can I be happy? How can I be alive?
When all I do is drown,
in my tears at night
Aspen Mar 2019
He is just
a friend
But he is a brother to me

-Few months later-

I am falling for him
I am in love with him
His eyes, the light that is in him...a light that no else has
His laugh, the best music in the world...a laugh that no one else has
His smile,
lights up the world better than the sun and stars...a smile that no one else has
His hair, so black...like midnight...dark and mysterious, but so soft and shiny
His hands, so gentle and caring...hands that no one else has
round, short nails, short fingers
His arms, so full of strength, yet can be so tender...arms that I can be in for days...arms that no one else has
His voice, so strong but yet so gentle
Like the sea, lulling you to sleep or igniting the spark of passion in you...a voice like no other
His heart,
so golden and valuable

A heart, like no one else's...

The way he sees the world, like no one else...

The way he makes me feel, like no one else...

He is like no one else...

I want no one else...but him
Aspen Mar 2019
Going, going, gone.
The time ticking by
the sand in the hourglass falling, the top half nearly empty.
Eight years together, of laughter tears, and every emotion in between.

It has always been the three of us, him, his brother, and me.
I was his little sister, he was my older brother.
One moment, I was excited to see him, the next moment I was with him, and the next moment, all the other moments disintegrated into nothing memory. Pretty soon he, himself is going to be a memory
He is like a fire, flame turning into glowing embers, and glowing embers slowly turning into black ashes. Black, the color of my world without him
One year goes by as fast as lightning, time ticking too fast, moments becoming memories too quickly
He is the glue, that holds the friendship of his brother and me together. Without him, our friendship falls, and his brother and I fall into our different circles of friends, acting as if we were strangers.

Going, going, gone. Even this friendship will be gone once this year leaves. All the jokes, all the laughter, all the challenges of this unbiological brother/ sisterhood, is soon to be gone.

Months turns into weeks, weeks turn into days, and days turn into hours, hours become minutes, minutes become seconds, and seconds become memory.
Time flies, as people say it. But to me, time doesn’t just fly, it has a supersonic jet pack and a hyperspace ability.
I can already feel his absence as if he is already gone. It is almost as if he isn’t there any more
Going going gone
My best friend, my role model, my brother.
Aspen Mar 2019
BANG!
people dead
lives wasted
minds scarred
families mourning
more friends weeping
How the hell did we come to this?

You are going to hell!
You are not a boy, you are a girl!
It is just a phase!
I will not accept this!
You are not my child anymore!

last deep breath...silence...
One life wasted
all because of
One sentence of an old book
all because of the sharpness of hate and the jaws of ignorance
How the hell did we come to this?

You need to be better than them!
You are not trying hard enough!
You are not pretty enough!
You are not enough!

last tear falls like the first raindrop of a storm...then silence
One life wasted
One dream killed
One hope shot down
with the arrow of standards
How the hell did we come to this?

You are ugly!
You are not worth it!
We do not want you around!
You should just go and **** yourself!
The world is better of without you!

One final leap as the water takes the life
One life wasted
One treasure lost
One novel unfinished
One beautiful line, cut by the sharp knife of hatred
How the hell did we come to this?  

So many lives wasted, so much grief, so much blood/ tears shed, so much sorrow.
How much longer, will we let hate be the chief?
How many more lives, will we cut short?
How many more dreams, will we shoot down?
How many more treasures will we loose?
How many more unfinished novels?
How many more? How much longer? Until we realize
We need love to conquer this cruel, real world
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