for my twenty year-old self
i hope you give out kindness and happiness
i hope you accept and tolerate differences and flaws
i hope that, when people see you or hear your name,
they would remember feeling at ease
i hope you comfort people who are hurt
i hope you surround people with peace.

i'd also like to ask you,
to not put yourself in the flame, for the sake of others,
to make them warm, when,
all they ever do is hurt you, and let you down
you matter
so, leave them behind, stand up, look up and ahead
always move forward
for your mind and body are for your heart, soul, and passion
people should not cross the line to change that fact.
these people are told not to hurt, and
if they do,
please leave and save yourself
please know that, your twenties, and the rest of your life,
don't belong to anyone else but,
you, your decision, your wishes and hopes.

i hope you have a good life
one you can always remember and cherish
and when adulthood is tiring, you can always look back
to your five year-old self, rooting for you
to your teenage self, your sixteen year-old self,
dreaming about you and all the good things coming your way
take a break, take a breath,
you can always get up, and start again.

*i love you, and i forgive the past

on some rides to some places,
i miss the feeling of waiting
for you to reply my text
the thoughts on our late night conversation

on some rainy days,
i remember the outline of your face,
how you look like when you think,
the way you bite the collar of your shirt

on some moments of silence,
i hate the thoughts that i might be
on your mind, and
turns out,
it's not that way,
it's not going to be that way

Darling,
If you forgive
Just because,
You think you understand
that it is not their fault,
and they hurt you
with no pure intention to do so
and yet, they do it,
again and again,
as if you were
unworthy and unwanted.
And then you struggle,
through obstacles
to change.
In hope that you could
avoid all the hurting,
Just because you think
that you understand that
all the hurting they give
is not their fault,
and you too, are not born to be hurt.
Baby, you don't have to,
change yourself.
They are the problems.
If they hurt you,
again and again,
You need to get rid of them
instead of you
getting rid of yourself.
These people are,
the ones that drown you
deep into the darkness
and say words and pretend
to be the ones
that give you hope and light,
and all the love.
Honey,
save yourself.